All Comments on 'Ava's Insatiable Itch'

Build up - What?

Foreplay - never heard of it

Needs work

Your story is a prime example of many others on this site - one big sex act and little else. I found it one-dimensional. But at least it got read.

Since you were clear in your lead-in disclaimer that these characters had a history together, I will give you the benefit of the doubt and read about previous Ava and Rob encounters. Hopefully, there you spent more time and effort in developing a storyline with plot, character expansion and some buildup and sexual tension before putting them in bed together. If not, then I must agree with my fellow commenters.

there was no story.

Having now read your previous submission of "Ava's Immoral Soul" in three chapters and posted over seven years ago, I can say that you do have talent as a writer. That being said, I have to question your decision to post the current story as stand-alone. It would have been so easy to incorporate this as a finale to the series instead of ending it as you did with a punishment/anal sex scene. Or you could have made this an alternative ending to the original series. You DO expend the time and effort. ****