All Comments on 'Ave Maria'

bible belt girls always act like they never give blow jobs but lets face it at some point they all swallow

You have much to learn as a writer - haven't we all? But you have a feel for words and the story. Keep writing. Four stars from me for effort.

I am very moved by your almost Shakespearian phrasing. It seemed though that it got a bit out of hand, and interfered with the sexual enjoyment of the reader. Perhaps take the fancy wording down 20%, and bring the raw sex up 20%. I definitely appreciate your ability though, and hope you continue to write. :)

Yeah, joodle, you're definitely not wrong. I was writing something (non-erotic) one night and then I got very high and suddenly found myself writing this; unfortunately, while everything you write when high feels like it's going incredibly, often you're getting sidetracked and caught up in your own language and all that bad stuff. A more sober version of this would've had that 20% down.

write more. so perfect. everything i am looking to read.

Different. I believe this is the first time I've ever read a non-consent story where the author reminded me of Shakespeare.