Awakenings Ch. 29

I told Matt that I liked his plan, but needed to talk to David about it. He understood. We turned our attention back to sex. Matt fucked me one more time. It was even better than the first time.

After we finished we dressed and walked out into the living room. Michael, it was amazing. Jeanne, Abby, Mark and Bobby were all naked. Jeanne was lying on her back on the couch. Mark was straddling her shoulders facing her. She was sucking his cock. Abby was lying on her stomach between Jeanne's thighs eating her pussy. Bobby was sitting in a chair jacking off while he watched them. Matt and I interrupted them so we could thank Jeanne and Abby and say goodbye. All four of them politely stopped, looked up at us, said goodbye and then immediately returned to what they were doing."

Laughing, I said, "That's my wife. She knows how to focus on a task."

Maureen giggled. "If I was getting my pussy licked while I was sucking a cock I'm not sure I could maintain enough composure to look up and say good bye to someone who was leaving."

"Care to give it a try?"

"I'm not sure how we'll do the part where we say good bye to someone who's leaving, but you and I have already established that we can do the licking and sucking with aplomb."

"Shall we?"

"Now it's you who can't stay on task." Maureen paused and then with a sly smile, she added, "Maybe we could wait until we get back from The Polynesian Lounge."

"It's a date, unless of course..."

"Unless of course what?"

"Unless you meet someone at the Polynesian Lounge."

"Michael I'm going there with you and I fully intend to come home with you."

"Even if you meet someone very interesting?"

"Very interesting?"

"Yes, very interesting."

"Well then maybe we'll have a little fun together first, but I'm still going home with you." Staring into my eyes, Maureen said, "Michael, you're my friend. I don't have many friends."

"Okay, but there may come a time when you're going to want to spend the night with a man you meet."

"And if that time comes we'll deal with it."

"Yes, you're right, we will."

"Let's read the rest of Ruth's email."

"Good idea." I started reading again.

"Matt walked me to my car and kissed me goodnight. I promised to call him in the morning. He told me he would be eagerly waiting to hear from me and then he kissed me again.

Michael, driving home my heart was racing at about a million beats a second. I felt like I was back in high school. I was infatuated with Matt. As I realized that guilt overwhelmed me. David is the love of my life. How could I possibly be infatuated with another man?"

When I arrived at home David was waiting for me. He didn't say anything. He just kissed me and held me in his arms. I love David so much. I feel safe in his arms. I could have stayed there all night, but David was eager to hear about my evening with Matt.

The kids were in their rooms. After stopping to say goodnight to both of them David and I quickly withdrew to our bedroom. Once we were inside our room David was a fount of questions. How did I like Matt? Was he handsome? Did we do it? Was he good? Did I want to see him again?

Still affected by the feelings of guilt that had plagued me during my drive home, I was at first reticent about my answers, but then I saw the lust in David's eyes and realized that we both wanted this, maybe him even more than me.

Michael, I love David and he loves me. I can't explain this. I'm not sure it has an explanation. I'm not sure it requires an explanation. It just is. We're both happy about it and I guess that's all that matters.

I relaxed and told David everything. Again I felt like I was back in high school. This time I was telling my best girlfriend about my latest crush. David was just as excited as I was. we both babbled to each other, him asking questions, me answering without reservation.

We talked about the sex. I told David how much I'd enjoyed sucking Matt's cock. He asked me to describe Matt's cock. Michael, please don't get the wrong idea. David is not gay. He simply wants to share my excitement."

Pausing, I said, "I think I can understand this. Hearing about Jeanne's fun makes me happy. If you hook up with a guy tonight at the Polynesian Lounge, it will make me happy if you tell me he was a skilled, well endowed playmate."

"Why?" There was a look of honest puzzlement in Maureen's eyes.

"Why not? I like you. You're my friend. Why shouldn't I want you to have a memorable experience."

"Because it's not with you."

"If we were golf partners rather than fuck buddies should I get upset if you had fun playing golf with a really good golfer?"

"Michael!"

"What?"

"You can't equate fucking and golf. They aren't the same."

"Why not?"

"Well, for one, you can't get pregnant playing golf."

"Are you concerned that I'm going to get you pregnant?"

"Of course not! But...Oh this is so confusing."

"I will agree with that. Sex is very confusing."

"Okay, but you do have to admit that sex is a much more intimate act than golf."

"It doesn't have to be. It certainly isn't for Mel and Amy. It isn't for Jeanne either and weren't you the one who wanted to learn how to give blow jobs to guys you just met without feeling guilty about it?"

"Aren't you even a little bit jealous when Jeanne tells you about the fun she had with another man?"

"Once you understand that sex doesn't always have to be an expression of love, jealousy fades. Envy may still be a problem."

"Envy, but not jealousy? Please explain that."

"They're not synonyms."

"Go on."

"Jealousy refers to the fear that a person you love may love another."

"Okay."

"Envy is the desire to have something another has."

"So while you may not be jealous of Jeanne's boy friends you might envy them."

"Jeanne now acknowledges that when this first started one of her mistakes was failing to make me the most sexually satisfied husband on this planet before she broached the idea of playing with other men. Ruth learned from Jeanne. She's being very careful to be certain her new relationship with Matt is just as exciting for David as it is for her."

"Michael, she's thinking about making him wear a cock cage."

"That's David's fantasy. That's what he wants. He isn't going to be envious of Matt because his fantasy is being fulfilled. I would also be surprised if Ruth isn't making it clear to David that he can have her any time he wants her."

"You're telling me they're acting out a fantasy together."

"That's exactly what I'm saying. They each want something different from this fantasy, but it's still a mutually satisfying game. Ruth gets to play with a well endowed assertive lover and David gets to act out his submissive masochistic cuckold desires."

"A game?"

"Of course. David will always be the man of Ruth's dreams. I've known them far too long to ever doubt that. This is a game of make believe, a very exciting game of make believe, but that's all it is and that's all it will ever be."

"A game of make believe, I like that. Maybe if Eric and I had been able to play a game of make believe he wouldn't have needed his chippy."

"Six months ago were you ready to play a game of make believe?"

Maureen considered that question. After a moment she answered, "No definitely not."

Nodding, I said, "We're taught to hide our fantasies. They may be desires, but they're illicit desires, desires we can't admit to anyone. I'm sure David has been harboring secret submissive masochistic urges for years."

"But he was ashamed to admit them to Ruth."

"That's right."

"And before she got married Ruth was a slut, but she never told David."

"She didn't dare. She was afraid he wouldn't marry her if he knew the truth."

"But during all those years they were married David was fantasizing about Ruth having affairs with other men."

"It's ironic, isn't it."

"It is so ironic." Maureen paused. After a moment she asked, "Michael, could we do that?"

"You mean act out a fantasy together?"

"Yes."

"I thought that's what we were doing. You want to be a slut."

Maureen stared at me for a second and then she said, "And you're a voyeur. You love hanging around with sluts."

"It's a fantasy I'm finding very exciting."

Grinning, Maureen said, "That's the fantasy you and Jeanne are playing."

Nodding, I said, "We are now."

"But it wasn't last August. That's why you left home."

"That's right, last August it wasn't a mutual fantasy. Last August it was just Jeanne's fantasy, a fantasy that didn't include me."

"But that changed when you met Amy and Mel. Amy and Mel showed you that it could be your fantasy too."

"No, it changed when Jeanne flew to San Francisco to meet me. In San Francisco Jeanne made it clear that she wanted me to be part of her fantasy. She wanted her fantasy to be our fantasy. Amy and Mel showed me that it would be okay for Jeanne's fantasy to be my fantasy too."

"Just like you're showing me that I don't have to be ashamed of my sexual desires."

"That's right and..."

"And? And what?"

"Ruth and David don't have to be ashamed of their sexual desires either."

Slowly nodding, Maureen said, "Let's read the rest of Ruth's email."

"Okay." I continued reading.

"Michael, once I recognized how excited David was my confidence grew. I told him everything. When David heard about Matt's invitation to take us to dinner next Saturday night he said that if it was alright with me, he wanted to go. After I assured him that I wouldn't go without him I told David that if everything goes well during dinner, all three of us are going to go back to Matt's condominium for an after dinner cocktail.

David stared at me. I started to worry. I asked him if he wanted to go to Matt's condominium with me. He smiled at me and told me that he couldn't think of anything he'd rather do. That relaxed me, but then my sweet husband totally shocked me. He asked me if I would allow him to serve cocktails to Matt and me."

Maureen giggled. "Oh my!"

"Are you being judgmental again?"

Still giggling, Maureen said, "No, I mean...Michael, why would he..."

"It's not your fantasy Maureen. You don't have to understand why. You just have to accept that it excites him and he's not hurting anyone else. Isn't that all that really matters?"

"I can't imagine Eric serving cocktails to you and me before we get into bed."

"Your husband isn't David."

"No he certainly isn't." Maureen paused. After a moment she said, "I think I'm starting to get it."

"Okay."

"Our personal fantasies aren't anyone elses business."

"As long as nobody else is getting hurt by them."

"Of course, that goes without saying." Maureen smiled. "I like Ruth and David. They are so exquisitely kinky. Keep reading. What did Ruth say to him?"

"Okay." Smiling, I continued reading.

"I was a little disarmed at first, but when I saw the lust in David's eyes I understood. This really was his fantasy. For the past several months we've been playing games in which David takes a submissive role while I date an imaginary boyfriend, but this was the first time I was convinced that he actually wanted to make this fantasy real. Suddenly I was very excited. This wasn't just my fantasy or David's fantasy, this was our fantasy and together we were going to make it real."

"Oh my god! This is so hot. Michael, the idea that two people who love each other are about to play out a mutually satisfying kinky fantasy is...I don't know, unbelievable."

"Unbelievable? Really?"

"Yes, most people are much too uptight to reveal their secret fantasies to anyone else, especially someone they love."

"I'm a voyeur. I admitted that to you."

"Yes you did and I'm a wanna be slut. I admitted that to you. Don't you understand? That makes us special." Maureen paused. After a moment she shook her head and said, "No, I'm just learning to be special. You're special and so are Jeanne, Ruth and David." She grinned at me. "And Mel and Amy are really special."

"We're all still learning, even Mel and Amy."

"But at least we're trying to learn. Michael, read the rest of Ruth's email. I want to hear everything about them."

"This is a sudden and radical change of opinion."

"I think I'm finally starting to get it, I mean really get it. David is being true to himself. Michael, for awhile, when my kids were young I had a sexual fantasy that no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't purge from my mind. It plagued me."

"Can you tell me?"

"I've never told anyone, not Eric, not anyone, but I think I can tell you. No, I want to tell you."

"I won't judge you."

"I know you won't that's why I want to tell you."

"Okay."

"I met Eric two years after I dropped out of college."

"I didn't know you dropped out of college."

"My younger sister received a scholarship to a prestigious eastern university, but it wasn't a full scholarship. My father couldn't afford to help both of us. My sister was always a better student than I was."

"You quit college so your sister could go to a prestigious school."

"She's now a successful attorney."

"And you're a secretary."

"I have no regrets."

"Really?"

"She's a successful attorney. I never would have gotten into law school. It was the right decision."

"Okay, so two years after you dropped out of law school you met Eric. Tell me about your fantasy."

"He had two roommates. All three of them were handsome young bachelors. They lived in a three bedroom apartment. Michael, Eric and I used to fuck in his bedroom while his roommates were watching television in the living room."

"I don't really think that's an unusual situation."

"No, I suppose not, but it got stranger."

"Tell me."

"Eric was in grad school working on his MBA."

"Okay."

"To support himself he worked the midnight to 6:00 AM shift at a convenience store. Lots of nights he got out of bed after we finished fucking and went to work."

"And you spent the night in his bedroom with his two roommates in the living room."

"Yes."

"Did anything ever happen?"

"No but..."

"You had fantasies about it."

"One of his roommates, Ricky Tyler, was so handsome. Michael, he had beautiful blue eyes and a smile that could charm the pants off of a spinster school teacher."

Chuckling, I said, "A spinster school teacher?"

"That was one of Eric's favorites. He used to say, 'The guy's so smooth he could charm the pants off of a spinster school teacher.'" Maureen laughed. "I don't think Eric has ever even met a spinster school teacher."

"It's kind of an archaic phrase."

"Believe me, Eric's an archaic guy."

"Okay, back to your story. Did Ricky Tyler or Eric's other roommate ever make a pass at you?"

"No, I was Eric's girlfriend. There was a code of honor."

"But you wish they had."

"Not then! At the time I would have been mortified if either of them had tried anything."

"But later, when your children were young."

Nodding, Maureen said, "I started fantasizing about lying in Eric's bed after he left for work. There was a knock at the door. At first it just Ricky. He asked if he could come in. I told him yes. He sat on the bed in the dark. I was naked under the covers. We talked. He kissed me and then we made love, hot passionate love."

"Maureen, I don't mean to be critical, but that's a pretty tame fantasy."

"There's more."

"Tell me."

"It wasn't long before I began to imagine that after Ricky left Ben knocked on the door. Ben was Eric's other roommate. He wasn't as handsome as Ricky, but he was still good looking."

"Eric, Ricky and Ben, all in the same night."

"Yes, but there's still more."

"Go on."

"After a while Ricky and Ben knocked at the same time."

"And you had them both at the same time."

"Michael, it was so hot, but it also made me feel ashamed."

"There wasn't any reason to be ashamed."

"I know that now, but eighteen years ago I was a different person. I was still a young mother."

"I understand. Eighteen years ago I would have been horrified if I'd admitted to myself that I might enjoy watching Jeanne with another man."

Smiling, Maureen said, "If you'd admitted to yourself that you might enjoy watching Jeanne with another man? An interesting statement. Are you suggesting that eighteen years ago you might have had those thoughts as deep dark illicit desires?"

"They were there. I know they were, but I didn't dare acknowledge them." Pausing, I looked at Maureen. "What about you? Do you now acknowledge, no embrace is a better word. Do you now embrace your old illicit desires?"

After taking a moment to consider my question, Maureen answered, "I'm not yet capable of doing that, but I will admit..." She paused and then she smiled. "I will admit that I am envious when I hear Jeanne describe the fun she's having with Mark and Bobby."

"So there may come a time?"

"When I share a bed with two men at the same time?"

"Yes."

"Part of me hopes it will happen and another part of me is terrified of the idea."

"That's progress."

"Yes, I suppose it is." Maureen giggled. "Slut boot camp is working."

I chuckled.

Maureen said, "Let's read the rest of Ruth's email."

Nodding, I adopted a more serious demeanor and said, "Okay." And then I started reading again.

"Michael, I don't believe that I have ever been more in love with David than I was at that moment."

"Oh my god! That is so beautiful."

I looked at Maureen with a questioning expression.

She said, "Ruth and David are sharing this fantasy. I don't think very many married couples are able to do that."

Understanding, I said, "Yes, of course."

"Let's finish reading it."

"Okay."

"We hugged for a long time and then David kissed me. It was an intense kiss filled with love and passion. After he kissed me David dropped to his knees on the floor at my feet. I knew what he wanted. I wanted it too. I raised the hem of my skirt. pulled my panties off and parted my thighs. David kissed me again, this time in that most private place, a place that had just been enjoyed by another man. He quickly started licking me. Michael it was amazing. I don't believe that either of us had ever been as aroused as we were at that moment.

After my second orgasm..."

Maureen whispered, "Her second orgasm! Damn! I'm beginning to believe that kinky sex might be the best kind."

I smiled at Maureen and continued reading.

"After my second orgasm I pulled David up on the bed. As soon as he was seated next to me I told him that I wanted him to fuck me. He shook his head no and told me that he thought that pleasure should now be reserved exclusively for Mr. Haynes. I wasn't surprised, in fact I'd expected that response, but I wasn't about to accept it. I explained to David that he was the love of my life and I both wanted and needed to occasionally be able to enjoy feeling him inside me.

After a short discussion we agreed that at least two nights a month would be designated as husband and wife nights. There also would be nights like last night when I just wanted to be able to make love to David in every way imaginable, at least for a little while. My husband is a beautiful man. He understood. Then we made love. I didn't cum. That wasn't the point. I'd already had plenty of orgasms with both Matt and David. When David and I made love last night it was more than physical excitement, much more. It was rapture, harmony and passion. It was a union of our souls."

Maureen gasped. I looked at her. She whispered, "Don't stop reading."

I continued.

"Michael, I hope you understand and won't judge us. I'd never imagined that David and I would do something like this, but we are and it's making both of us happy and very excited.

Love,

Ruth"

"I never would have thought I would envy a married couple who were living a lifestyle like that, but I am. It just seems so loving." Maureen shook her head. "Especially after the last ten years I had with Eric the bum."