Award

I went into Tom Smith' study and sat down. Tom Smith was quietly studying me. "Jim, you left out some interesting details last night. Why didn't you tell me about what Vicky did to you?"

I explained that it had no bearing on the injury his family had suffered and that Vicky had only reacted like any older sister would have. I thought about the beatdown, my sisters would have inflicted on anybody that beat up their baby brother.

"You know Vicky is mortified at what she did, she came to us late last night and confessed what she did. I told her we would call you to come over this evening and square this away. I was surprised to see you here today. Why did you come over?"

I told him that I felt it was my responsibility to be here and help everybody find a way to get through this.

He said, "Well, in the short time we've met you have really impressed me, Jim. I can't say the same of the last boy that apologized. I don't think his heart was really into it, but, for the sake of the other seven I decided it was necessary to forgive him, as well.

At the very least, you've given me a reason to give this city a second chance. I hope we get to see a lot of you around here in the future." I thanked him and handed him an envelope I collected donations to pay for Jimmy's shirt. He walked me outside; I was disappointed not to see Vicky as I left.

I arrived at the gym and walked into a buzzsaw named Coach Chambers. I got reamed and steamed as he chewed me out for setting up the meeting with the Smiths' without his knowledge or permission.

Ricky stood smiling as I got cussed out. The rest of the team stood open-mouthed as he continued to heap abuse on me. He finally asked me what I had to say for myself.

I asked him if he was ready to start the season without his center, star running back, wide receiver, defensive tackle, all state linebacker, and cornerback. Because if I hadn't stepped in when I did, they would all be looking at criminal charges.

Because I stepped in, I had diverted the focus away and now we could put that behind us and work on getting the championship. But next time I assured him, I would make sure to keep out of the way and let him clean up the mess.

When I got through there was dead silence in the gym. No one had ever stood up to Coach Chambers like that and everyone waited to see how he would react. He stared at me and repeated next time let him handle it and walked away. I took a deep breath as my awed teammates came over and talked how bad ass I was to stand up to him. I told them to shut up and get to work.

I got home and Katie had still not called so I was faced with having a Friday night without a date. My parents suggested that I call Vicky Smith and ask her out. I thought about it and decided to at least offer to show her around. I called her up and told her if she wasn't doing anything that I would like to show her the town. There was a long moment of silence, and then Vicky told me that her boyfriend was going to drive down and she was sorry. I mumbled something about maybe next time and hung up.

Saturday morning I was scheduled to run with my position coach, Coach Porter. I ran over to his house and had two miles in by the time I arrived. He had finished stretching and warming up so we immediately began our run. The miles passed by smoothly and we finally reached the park, our designated spot for a break.

"What a great day for a run" Coach Porter gasped.

"Yeah, Coach, I got energy to burn away."

He smiled and asked how Katie was doing. I didn't have any secret from Coach Porter except for Coach Chambers trying to give me steroids.

Over the past few years, he went from being a coach to being a mentor and we talked openly about every avenue of my life. I must have shown my displeasure and he asked what was wrong. I told him Katie had stood me up and I was getting tired of such a high maintenance girlfriend. We discussed how to proceed with that problem until we arrived to the inevitable conclusion that guys will never understand how to figure out girls.

Then he dropped the bomb on me. "Jim, I got some news for you. I've been fired." I was stunned by the announcement. I was surprised how calm he was about losing his job.

I started firing questions at him. He calmly explained that he apparently had one too many arguments with Coach Chambers and he had fired him.

I asked him what was going to happen to the team. He told me he suspected Coach Chambers would take over his responsibilities and take credit for my success. He assured me that as talented as I was that I could overcome any interference Coach Chambers threw my way. This just heightened my suspicions that Coach Chambers was trying to parlay this season into a collegiate head coaching job.

I asked what was going to happen to him. He told me that he had already lucked into the offensive coordinator position at the University. He had received a huge raise, plush benefits, and the opportunity to pursue a dream. The only thing he regretted was not being there for me during this year.

He looked at me, "Jim, I found out that Coach Chambers may be distributing steroids to the players. When, I asked him he blew up, that was the straw that broke the camel's back.

Jim, I just got to know, did you ever take steroids?" I could see the pain he was in by asking the question. I looked him in the eye and told him how Coach Chambers had tried to get me to take "vitamin supplements" and how I had stored away every bottle. He was relieved by my explanation and told me how proud he was of me and he would look forward to seeing me play on the college level.

He was already packed and ready to jump into his new job, so this would serve as our goodbye. We hugged and I told him I would miss him. He told me not to worry; you never know when our paths might cross again. I watched as he jogged away and I already felt alone.

I got a text from Katie telling me that we would be going to the lake that afternoon. The lake trips were the only times we drove my truck since I had a trailer hitch that could haul Katie's family speedboat. I had just enough time to take a shower and then leave.

When I got there, I couldn't get anyone to the door, so I tried to call Katie. Then I went and backed my truck up to the boat trailer and began hitching the trailer to my truck. Much to my surprise as I hooked up the boat at Katie's house, I got another text that Katie would meet me at the boat launch. I was pissed that now I wasn't even worth riding with as I performed free labor for her.

When I got there my anger evaporated as she ran up and kissed me. Just as I thought, she had invited all her friends, so that meant I would have to launch the boat, drive my truck and the boat trailer to a distant parking lot, swim out to the drifting boat, start it up, take the first boatload to the island where there was a beach, unload everything, and then go back and get another boatload.

I would keep relaying people until everyone was there on the island at which point I would have to pilot everyone that wanted to waterski or wakeboard or go rafting. Funny, how I never got to participate in the fun, but, Katie explained that I was the only one her father trusted with the boat.

The few glimpses I caught of Katie as she skied were breathtaking as her toned body skillfully swerved in the boat's wake. Her hair whipping in the wind as she maneuvered from side to side until she finally had enough and released the tow bar.

As I carefully moved toward her, I killed the engine and the boat drifted alongside her. I got out of the captain's chair and went to the ladder and reached down for her hand. She grasped my hand and I carefully helped her up the ladder. All my trouble was worth one peck on the cheek.

Her BFF of the month, Lisa decided she would be next to ski and jumped in the water. I looked at Lisa and told her to put on a life jacket. Lisa told me that she didn't need one. I repeated to her to put on a life jacket. She told me all I had to do was to drive the boat as she skied and that she wasn't going to put on any damn lifejacket.

I stood there for a few seconds and looked at Katie. She wasn't even paying attention as she talked to her other friends on the boat. I went back and sat down in the captain chair and waited.

A few minutes passed and Lisa started shouting she was ready. I ignored her and continued to wait. That got me several more shouts and a few profanities thrown my way. Katie came and sat beside me in the chair across from me.

"Jim, Lisa is ready, start up the boat!"

I said, "Katie, I told Lisa to put on a lifejacket and she refused to listen to me. If I'm going to be responsible for this boat then she and everybody else on this boat will listen to me."

Katie angrily replied, "For God Sakes, Jim, just start the damn boat, Lisa will be okay!"

I stared back at her and said, "No, if she doesn't listen to me and put on the lifejacket, then this boat is going nowhere."

She snapped back, "Fine, goddammit, I'll pilot the fucking boat!"

By that time I had worked up my anger, "Okay, tell Lisa to get back in the boat. Then you can take me back to the marina and I'll unhook the trailer and get in my truck and leave and you can go have fun and then worry about getting the boat back to your house."

My outburst shocked Katie because I seldom disagreed with her, but, she came to understand in our relationship when she crossed a certain line that I would dig in and would not budge. But I had never displayed that over such a minor dispute.

I continued, "Yeah Katie, that means that you get to grill this evening, you will pack up everything, you will be responsible for getting everyone back to the marina and then figure out how you're going to haul the boat with your convertible."

We continued to engage in a staring contest. I was aware of her friends' muttering various things about me. I couldn't care less what they were thinking; unless I was with Katie, none of them were inclined to be friendly to me. I might as well give them a reason to dislike me.

It took a while, but, Katie finally reasoned that I was negotiating from a position of strength and conceded the argument. Well, she didn't really concede so much as she threw a lifejacket to Lisa and told her to put it on if she wanted to ski.

Katie went to the back of the boat and acted as the spotter. We got a lifejacketed-clad Lisa up on her first try and she skied to her heart's content. When we finally got back to the island to begin grilling, I helped Lisa off. I was rewarded by her muttering, "motherfucker" to me.

As I prepared the grill, I heard the approach of another boat nearing the island. That wasn't unusual; the country club set had a number of boats at their disposal. So people would ferry on and off the island all day. What it meant for me was that I would have to engage in mental gymnastics to make sure everyone was accounted for before we left the island. I had never stranded anyone and I didn't want to start now.

The deep rumble of the powerful boat brought several squeals of delight as Rick Wilson landed his boat besides Katie's. All the girls ran up to him and begged him to take them out on the lake. I was getting things out of the cooler when I saw the girls, including Katie, load up in the boat and take off down the lake.

I did notice that the can Ricky discarded on the beach was a beer can. So I wasn't pleased that my girlfriend took off without telling me to ride around with an underage jackass that was drinking.

As the coals got to the right temperature, I started laying out the burgers and chicken wings. I had the picnic table set up with the condiments, chips, and cookies, and the coolers icing down the cokes.

While I was setting things up, Ricky's boat came close to the island. I could see from my peripheral vision that Lisa was skiing without a lifejacket on. She made it a point to come closer and shouted, "Fuck you, asshole!" Her voice faded off in the distance. As I sat there, I began questioning whether it was worth putting up with all this crap for Katie.

I know she saw us as a long term relationship; but, I began to wonder if we had enough going for us. I knew one of my faults was I was over-competitive. I did not like to fail at anything and if I gave up on us; I would take it as a sign that I wasn't committed enough to Katie. I knew I was in lust with her; I just didn't know if I was in love with her. I continued my reflections as the meat continued cooking. Ricky's boat arrived just in time.

I pretended not to notice the hug she gave Ricky as he helped her off the boat. She ran up to me with a big smile and asked if everything was ready. She grabbed a burger and went and sat down with her friends. I continued to grill until everyone was stuffed and then I got to eat a cold hamburger. As I reached for the dregs left in the potato chip bag, I watched as Katie oohed and ahhed over Ricky. I was pissed.

The entire entourage paid little attention to me as I lit a campfire to ward off the late summer night chill. Slowly, they began to pull up chairs and begin conversations around the fire. I had Katie's and my chair close to the fire. She sat down and patted my arm, and began answering a conversation Lisa was having. I continued to watch uninterrupted all the crowd laughing and joking.

As the fire began to die out, I got up to get more firewood. When I got back, Ricky was occupying my chair and Katie didn't seem disposed to make him get up.

Disgusted, I went away from the fire and sat back at the picnic table. I looked up to see all the stars lighting up the sky. It made me wish I had studied astronomy.

I continued to sit there mesmerized by the Milky Way and I missed hearing Katie approaching me. "Jim, are you okay?" she asked.

I studied the question and replied, "Why, wouldn't I be okay?"

"Well, you just left me and I didn't know if something was wrong."

I continued to look skyward, "Well Katie, you were having such a good time with Ricky, I didn't want to interrupt."

She could sense this wasn't a good time for this conversation so she drifted back to her group. I got tired of the crick in my neck, so I laid in top of the picnic table and started finding the few star formations I knew; the Big Dipper and the Little Dipper and I zoned out.

We stayed out till midnight and then left the island. As I piloted the boat back to the launch, Katie remained in the back with her friends.

I pulled up to the pier and everybody unloaded and left as I tied off the boat. I backed my truck down the launch where I would get the boat trailered and back to Katie's house. I walked her to her car in the marina's parking lot. I asked her if I would see her at her house after I dropped off the boat. She wouldn't look me in the eyes and told me she was spending the night over at Lisa's house. As I leaned in to kiss her, she got in her car and left. I watched as the taillights disappeared.

When I finally got home, I saw a sports car parked at the Smiths' house. I stood looking around the peaceful quiet neighborhood. I climbed on the hood of my truck and leaned back against the windshield to look at the stars. I fell asleep.

I was roused out of my sleep by my Dad wondering what the hell possessed me to fall asleep outside. After I assured him I wasn't on drugs and I did have enough brain cells to figure out where my bedroom was I stumbled off to take a shower.

Sunday morning was church, regardless, how late I stayed out Saturday. I got settled in our pew when I spotted Vicky Smith across the aisle accompanied by a boy that looked vaguely familiar, and then I realized I was seeing Will Akers for the first time not wearing a football uniform. The sight of them sharing a hymn book pissed me off. They whispered and looked at one another during the sermon with their little smiles and held hands during the closing prayer. I wasn't a happy camper.

I stepped out by way of a side door and avoided the receiving line. I thought I saw Vicky craning her neck looking through the congregation. I got to my truck, avoiding a faint shout my way and drove home. I shed my suit and put on casual clothes and spent the entire day watching the river flow.

When I got home, my parents were upset with me since I missed an invitation to join them for supper with the Smiths. They wanted to know why I didn't answer the phone. I told them I just needed to be alone today and asked them for once just leave me alone. They were surprised by my attitude and they did leave me alone for the rest of the night.

I had one week left before official football practice started. We would practice in the early morning and midafternoon. This was known as two some days. The guys had another name for it, Hell. The whole premise was to build up our endurance, get us in shape, practice formations and plays, improve our timing and techniques, and determine each person on the players' chart. I would go in as number 1; I didn't expect to get beaten out by Ricky Wilson.

Coach Chambers pulled me aside and said that he would be in charge of the quarterbacks this year. I didn't say anything or ask any questions. As the days passed before the start of two a days, my stress level rose. This was nothing new for me, because I approached each season as life or death. My parents continued to cut me slack, because they knew I would have to excel in order to get a scholarship.

I started weaning myself away from Katie, but, she was used to me doing this until we started playing games, when, for some reason my stress would fade away. Sunday, instead of going to church, I went back out to the river and spent the day and much of the night there, sorting things out.When I got home, nothing was said.

Monday morning arrived and I was prepared mentally and physically to do everything I needed to do to make my senior year a success.

Less than two hours later my season and probably my career would be over.

It didn't seem like that big a deal at first. We were practicing a new formation and the linesmen got confused with the blocking assignment. Our running back got hit at the line and fumbled. Coach Porter had taught me to move away from a fumble unless I had a clear path to recover the ball. I was moving away when my leg was rolled up under me. I screamed from the pain and grabbed my knee. The trainer ran up and tried to move the knee. Each movement brought on a fresh jolt of pain. An ambulance was called and I was carried to the hospital.

I didn't think about the EMTs' knowing my mother, but, she was standing there as I was carried on the litter into the emergency room. She followed me in and held my hand as the x-rays were taken. The verdict came in; I had torn my anterior cruciate ligament.

Even with surgery, I would be out for six to nine months. My world was collapsing; I didn't see how my parents could afford the surgery, much less the physical therapy. I would have to limp through life wondering what might have been.

I was brought home and put in bed on the sofa downstairs. Mom gave me a pain pill and I drifted off to sleep. I woke that evening and heard my parents discussing me in the kitchen. They were trying to figure out how to pay for my surgery. They finally decided that they would have to take out a second mortgage. I hollered at them and told them I was awake. They came into the den to see how I was doing.

As they fussed over me, I told them I wanted to have a say in any decision that affected me. They agreed to include me in. Mom told me while I was out that many of my teammates called or came over. The Smiths came over and I got an image of Vicky standing over me as I slept. I asked if they heard from Katie, they shook their heads no.

I spent an uncomfortable night trying to sleep as I tried to rationalize away what had happened to me. I had to believe that somehow Katie hadn't heard about me or otherwise she should have been with me. I fell asleep somehow with the image of Vicky brushing my hair off my face as I lay sleeping.