by FINC
I enjoyed your story and can't wait for the next installment. It was slightly confusing at times because of the constant jumping you did. Good job though
Real good writing and story contiuity, a little choppy but a real great take on B sci-fi movies to the next leve.
Real good writing and story contiuity, a little choppy but a real great take on B sci-fi movies to the next leve.
There are some great ideas here, though this probably needed more editing.
it looks like you've mixed the characters of Vale and Candy more than only once - this is a bid confusing for the reader. Other than that it's a good read - keep it up!