All Comments on 'Babydoll Ch. 02'

simply erotic.

Can't wait for the next chapter!

what to see more.

I really loved it, you have to continue this and let them fuck again! Ashley needs to let her inhibitions go and realize she wants him as bad as he wants her! Good Job!

I would delete part one and start from here. This is almost like a different story its that much better, and this could easily be part 1 with some background at the beginning. I only started reading after coming across positive feedback on one of the later chapters. Part 1 aside I am glad to have found this. Thanks. UK Cynic.

I absolutely disagree with the comment that said you should delete Part One and start from here.

I really loved part one. It was tremendously exciting to have that loving rape. It was perfect.

Maybe I just couldn't get into the character, but he just seems like a douche to me. He thinks he loves his sister, but all he's doing is scheming a way to bang her. Your writing was worse in this chapter than the last as well. Keep practicing before posting. I stopped reading when I read the line "The even better part..."

I will never say to give up writing, because you're not the worst I've read on Lit, but I do suggest taking a writing class or something. The more you write, the better you'll get. Also, read more before you write more. Try to find your "voice."

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She didn't want to fuck and I wasn't ever going to force her to again. When we did it was going to be right and it would be her decision – or at least she would think it was.

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...once a rapist, always a rapist, lol. :/

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Then I placed my hands on her side and drug her to the edge of the bed. Getting down on the floor I had better access and control of her love.

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...and you dont wind up with a neck-ache for the next three days!

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That feels great, Jimmy. Uuuummm, Oh oh, Uh Yeah., Oh yeah, Ummmm, Ummmm, Ohhhhh." That was all the encouragement I needed and I was eager to take it further. She was really turned on.

"That's it," she hissed. "Do it, Do it, Oh God," she laid back down off of her elbows.

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Man, I wish my wife was vocal like that! I dont hear shit out of her till her orgasm and even then its not a lot, lol.

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I almost started to cry as I told her, "And I am so sorry about that. I was just out of control."

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Man, he's still feeding her that line of bullshit? Daaaamn. (Rolling eyes) ...think he needs to hit some rapers anonymous meetings, hehe.

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I grabbed the bottle of oil and squirted some more on her back.

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(Mom) ...son, why are your sheets all oily and greasy?

...I think someone commented that the brother is a douche, ...well Yeah! Huge ass douche, lol. He might love his sister but he's not IN love with her, he's just a scheming scabber trying to get his dick back in his sister without her screaming rape! Lol. She's worth waiting for to him because hey, when she comes around having the girl that you're fucking living with you is awfully handy! Lolz.

...mind you, I'm still enjoying reading the story somewhat, it does need work, but you have to keep writing and improving to get there!

The first chapter was hotter, but this was just as hot... you've got me looking forward to the next chapters.

Story is progressing well! He is learning That restraint and patience can open many doors.

Hey, they are both naked, he gets to munch on her and then she gets him off…just enjoy it for a while, especially since it sounds like her body is still maturing.