by Strawberry_2051
Are you fucking serious?!
Chapter 1 was so promising, then you made the excuse of not knowing what would happen in future chapters for the shit you put in chapter 2 & 3. It was good to see Sarah & Sullivan made it in this chapter, but it was so tedious I ended up skipping to the end. You need to find an editor.
It is confusing to try and follow you....
I found the ending VERY weak....why didn't they just hop back in the pool and dilute all sperm??
"Heels" are NOT spelled "heals"!!
You seem to start a story line and just get developing it, and then drop it for some reason.... very strange...
Obviously you DO have readers though...so keep working at it...you do have promise!!
When I had trouble getting pregnant, our doctor told me to stay reclined after lovemaking, or even elevate my body to let gravity help the sperm find the egg.
I like Sarah and Sullivan. I hope they can get past this awkward ending to their date.