All Comments on 'Back from a Date'

Get off the rock and join the international community. The use of terms and isms of a small location leaves many confused. Things like "knickers", "arse" when the international general used terms are "panites" and "ass" shows poor author skills and limits readership to a small number.

There is a large English-speaking world outside the USA. We sometimes use different vocabulary and spelling. Time some ignorant rednecks got their heads round that.

The writer of the Join the world comment adaquately demonstrates what an asshe is. And I do agree, there is a lovely ring to "get yer knickers off" isn't there?

I dont begrudge the colonials their peculiar words, if they don't mind being wrong. Vive la difference!

Good story, by the way.

if she was as wet as he (and she) said she was, you wouldnt have needed lube..

Excellent descriptive story! hope you continue to write more like this.

My own feeling, you have a good core story and if it was developed more it would have been excellent. I feel, had this story been reviewed by an editor and further revisions made, many of the problems with this story would have been removed. My own feeling, I feel you may have read one too many books on creative writing without considering the audience you are writing for and the reason why you you are choosing the words that you chose. A few examples to give you an idea of what I am saying, includes:

1) "Mike buried his cock into Alexandra's pussy has he moaned into his ear while the condom filled inside with his hot sticky cum." Problem here include the word "has," I suspect you mean "as." Also, Mike seemed to have cummed quite quickly. What about their feelings? Where is the passion? What is each character feeling? What is each character thinking? What is each character experiencing?

2) "... slowly lifted herself up so she was no longer impaled by Mike's cock." Impaling means to put someone in an inescapable position or to put someone on sharp stake. It can also mean, to pierce with. While I can understand sexual penetration sounds as though the male is impaling, piercing, the woman with his cock or a missionary position could put someone in an inescapable position. The impression impaling brings is one of pain and submission. My own personal feeling for this story of a romantic encounter, impaling may not be the best work choice.

3) "Mike made several staccato thrusts..." I can understand that his thrust were short. However, staccato for me is a musical term that does not create a sexual image for me. Instead for me, when I read staccato I think of a violinist playing Mozart or Wagner. For me I would not use staccato unless it included a metaphor, for example "While trying to drive his cock deep into Alexandra's pussy, Mike made several staccato thrusts like he would if he was trying to conceal having sex from potential onlookers. Alternatively I might use staccato as way to describe his technique to extend his enjoyment of a great sexual experience, for example, "Mike interchanged his rhythmic thrust for the occasional staccato thrusts in order to extend the intense pleasure he was receiving from fucking Alexandra.

4) "Alexandra stroked Mike's erect cock with one hand while reaching into her bedside cabinet and taking out a condom." What did his cock feel like to Alexandra when she stroked it. When she reached into her beside cabinet did the drawer making any sounds? Did it interrupt what was occurring? If so, what did it interrupt? Since she had condoms in her bedside cabinet it implies she does this on a regular basis, what is her history?

5) "Alexandra's thong provided the next sensory treat." What sensory treats did it provide? What did it look like on her? How did it fit her? How come she was wearing the thong? Did she regularly wear them or was this to seduce Mike?