All Comments on 'Barely Revealed'

Quite an eyeful!

5

so delightful

Perfect.

Lovely tale. You hit all the right notes leaving us with a sweet image and high expectancy. In the briefest of formats.

'agate-hard nipples'

Splendid

I took off 2 points for the collar, sorry, that's just me.

Too short. Incomplete.

If she enjoys her display half as much as my wife did, then she's in for a good time!

I love the mask. Nice story.

Loved this, simple, but so well written

Nicely done. You perfectly set the scene and let each individual reader’s imagination decide the rest of the story.

A penny for her thoughts when the girlfriends and wives were there

v. Nice lead -up 2 something more explicit.

Tantalising start to what could be a great night of poker.

Isn't it amazing how critics lack the fortitude to attach their names. Well, here's an anonymous post that salutes you for a beautiful, short work. 5.0

Your stories always convey your character’s thoughts and emotions in a way that leaves your readers wanting more. I was excited when I saw you had a new story. This one would be a great start to a tale with no length constraints.

Very nice. Would have rated higher if you had left off the collar. That spoils the exhibition.

Looking for More.!.

Beautiful writing. Thank you.

There will be a follow up, please?

Beautiful build up, overcoming the anxieties moment by moment and the comment at the doorbell was so appropriate. 'I could do this.' I'd change the last touch to 'I can do this.' Perfection is when that attitude changes from doubt to assuredness. 5*

Fabulous. Rarely have I seen so much power in so few words, to say it like Churchill.

Gazes, eyes, hesitation, "you know me better than that", and real descriptive magic....

Perhaps the anticipation of the performance is itself a pleasure, even more than the performance itself? Foretaste of the taste of exhibitionism, naked girl serving drinks to clothed men... Please note that "naked at home" has the flavor of sloppiness and laziness ("oh, guys, I'm so comfortable with you harmless people that I'm not even wearing a sweatshirt") while simply "naked in heels" is provocation and teasing at its finest.

Yet, if it were possible for a beggar to beg for a sequel.... such a generous Author could show us Karl and Brooke together with friends! The embarrassment, the pride of being a prize, the devotion, the admiration of others...

suddenly weighed about three elephants and a rhino... mastepiece