All Comments on 'Battle-Hardened, War Weary Ch. 02'

Hope u continue to update, very soon.

I'm so drawn in to your story :-)

Your usage of verb tenses is confusing since you obviously possess an enormous vocabulary. I love how real your characters are, I see you took a long time creating them.

I'm enthralled, please write more

This story needs the DEATH of Ryan... and Carlos. Keep the story coming.

I hope Kali decides to stand up for herself and stop letting Ryan treat her like that. A stupid tape isn't worth all that torture and if her friends and family really cared about her they'd get over it

Amazing. Please give us more. I love the complexity of Ryan. Don't stop the stories!!

I think Ryan and Carlos are lovers and that's why he treats her poorly. He's angry and trying to prove that he's not really gay. So he abuses her because he hates himself.

Or he's a man-child that thinks demanding what he wants is easier than simply asking for it. She seemed like she would have been open to the idea of something with him; if he hadn't forced it.

I'm actually rooting for Daniel and Kari to somehow work something out. One technical thing: some of the transitions between flashbacks and present tense weren't very clear. Otherwise, I dig it!

The writing is good, although it needs better transition between sequences. Also, the amount of abuses that Kali is experiencing needs to stop. It would be really disturbing if this keeps going on like that without some reaction on her part. It will degrade her too much so that even though she is a victim it would be dificult to care for her. Ryan AND Daniel are bad influences, using her for their own pleasure. Daniel is just a coward : he took part in everything from the start. With Ryan, at least you kind of can "understand" where it comes from: his own past trauma, etc. And he used to be friend with her, which makes the situation even more fucked up. Difficult to see how it can end not too badly for every one of them...