All Comments on 'Beaten and Broken'

loved it, please write more

I don't care what gets you off; but keep shit like this to yourself.

I could have just moderated the comment about her age and deleted it, but that would be the cowardly way out.

Now, in response to your comment: the general intention was for her to be portrayed as an eighteen year old, but a fairly timid, submissive one. However, looking back on some parts, I can see how she might appear a little younger, although that isn't what I wanted.

The feedback is appreciated, though, and next time I write I'll make sure the characters appear of legal age.

... you should definately consider asking for an editor. You repeat many words or show clear moments where you changed your mind

, "she her", not to mention at one point you call her "Lola"??

I did call her Lola. :/ That was an early character name...

Anyway, yes, I think this one might need some editing and resubmitting. Dammit, guess it's my fault for not proofreading the thing. Thanks for the feedback.

In one paragraph you say she was raped by the headmaster, then in the next she's supposed to be a virgin, kinda confusing??

I agree that she seemed young, too, but that just made it more brutal. Probably the harshest thing I've read here, but I can't say I wasn't expecting it with a title like that.

i find that not many of these stories are rough enough or not enough rape to it, but this was great. please please please write more stories!

i love both your stories. it has just the right amount of punshment and lust! thanks for sharing!

--lya

The following line appears on page one of this story: "Suddenly the cane came crashing down on the desk, right next to Lola's ear." What I can't understand is why the Headmaster keeps Lola's ear on his desk (quite a macabre development) and what this has to do with Amy.

Write more, please. I'm glad you acknowledged what was wrong with this story. I look forward to reading more of your work.

The Headmaster trains Amy to become his Pain Slut! She now knows what she needs to do to get the Headmaster to treat her as the slut she is and give her the pain she must have.!!

A lot of non consent writers on here seem to be missing the definition of "non consent". You, however, portrayed it perfectly. I loved it, despite the minor editing issues!