All Comments on 'Beautiful Young Alpha Ch. 03'

I like the series you have, but they could be better with some work. I'm a writer myself both web based and real life. I like to help others if I can to improve their writing.

You need to reread your work a few times after your done.You need an editor, either one on here or one in person. What happens is our minds can change what we see on the page to what it is supposed to be. This is especially true if you are the writer. Some of the stuff I've noticed in this series and the prequel are; plenty of spelling and grammar mistakes, you weren't putting speech in " " but I see you've worked on that, you doubled the last part of this chapter by either cut and paste or something else.

Alpha dubs word usage and speech pattern just drives me up a wall. maintaining the various plot devices you put into the story is important. You haven't touched back on if Alpha dub or another alpha is going to send trainers to the Gum Swamp Pack. You had Alpha Julie mention it but you didn't touch back on it. I do love that Julie is getting wiser and smarter and seems to be catching onto Amanda pulling crap. I also love that Ashley is improving,when Amanda is not messing with her. This pack is growing and maturing and could be awesome, you just have to take it there as the writer. The readers will love seeing the characters mature and growing and become a kick ass pack that continues to grow and strengthen.

That is just my hopefully helpful two cents.

S