by almostluver
I mean no offense by this because I have loved this series up to this point, but I really hated this chapter if I'm being honest. Yes, it may have answered questions, but Scarlet had to be raped again? And she hasn't even been rescued yet, and she and Donovan STILL are not together?? I have been anticipating this chapter forever, it seems, and it was a big let down......
** Again, I hope you don't take offense to this because I'm truly not trying to offend you...I'm just expressing my opinion. That being said, because I am still hoping for a happy ending, I will be waiting anxiously for the next chapter.
The last chapter and this are so ridiculously at fetched. From the mother being a lying, scheming bitch and to the rape of Annabelle. I'm just done. Seriously disappointed with the way this story has gone. No need for the last two installments to go that way when it had been a great story otherwise.
I thoroughly enjoyed this submission. I have enjoyed this entire series and check everyday for updates!! Please hurry with another great chapter. I'm looking forward to more
I agree with the others. This chapter has ruined the series for me. The rape was completely unnecessary and how Donovan called up all those men and acted was not how I imagined he would act. There were some good paragraphs recounting how Donovan felt during those months but it was completely ruined by the rest of the story. It was slow in that paragraph and too fast with the others.
I'm very disappointed. You are a fantastic writer and I feel you ruined an amazing story with this whole chapter. The rape-both times, the kidnapping, everything. Honestly I think you should go back to right were scary was getting out of the bath Donovan and her shared and start from there. Leave out all this crazy plot twist and focus on the growing love story
Although this story has taken a turn that no one had anticipated I believe you have some good things to come for the two main characters before its all said and done. Keep writing even though many negative comments are being voiced. We have all fallen for these characters and want a happy ending for them and after another rape and Donovan now being more tough than the sensitive man we had seen before we are wondering if it's possible for them to have a happy ending? Can he be the kind of man that she will need if she does in fact live, or will he continue to be the ruthless tough guy that was just revealed to us? And is this tough guy/ spy persona what played into the change in him after his trip? Did he experience a close call that made him realize his love for her? You have left me with more questions now than ever. Is it possible for them to have their happily ever after?
I agree that you should begin again at the bathtub scene. The story is just twisted from there. The father was a real bastard, and had already sold her once. Do you think her mother would have ever trusted her around him again? The driver was in on it, too, and did nothing to save the girl he had watched grow into a young lady? This is just too much. You agreed that the last chapter was not very well done. Just scrap eight and nine, and begin again, with inspiration. Otherwise, I believe that you have lost quite a few readers. If you don't already have one, get an editor. They are usually pretty good at being honest about when your muse has been usurped by some gremlin.
I do not write comments on stories for the most part but after reading the other comments, I had to put in my two cents. I do not want you to second guess yourself or change where you're going with the story just because of what some people may say.
Sometimes a good story has to go where the readers and even the writer doesn't want it to go. There has to be darkness before the light. While I didn't enjoy the rape scene, I did not find it unnecessary. When characters are created in the writer's mind, they have to act like their character would behave, not how we would want them to. That wouldn't be a very good story. If people want to be entertained by something more pg, then they can watch a disney movie.
Please continue with your story. It is one of my favorites to read.
I think that you are doing a wonderful job, you just have to let the story go where it wants, even if you didn't like the last chapter. I think it's going well and will have an excellent ending! Keep up the good work and hurry with the next chapter, I love this series! :)
The story may not take the theme that others may want but don't stop. Life is full of crazy people if they don't see that then they need to wake up. I personally like this one so far.
It is too much, to weird to go with the previous chapters. The focus is somewhere else entirely, I would advice to start over from chapter 8.
The first idea selldom is the most creative one, and you need to let it incubate properly. It is a good story, a very nicely written one, up until chapter eight.
Despite what all the naysayers have said thus far, I have thouroughly enjoyed this whole story. I couldn't even stop reading it and I wish I knew what happens next. If you hate the last two chapters you can always go back and make an alternate ending!! :P But please continue. I hate the fact that she's pregnant with some other guys baby but it seems necessary for the story I suppose, or if you go a different way with it too, that would be ok. Maybe even somehow have them get rid of it or it die because the Gaston guys a moron and killed it or something, I don't know, you're the author! ;P Well anyways, I'm dying for the next chapter, and even if some other readers aren't, I want you to know theres some out there still egging this story and you on, don't give up or forget about this story. I'd love to hear the ending!
I hope you finish the story. Despite what people are saying, this is your story. I am enjoying quite well
U cannot be serious. Please don't leave this story hanging . Complete it. Even if you decide to publish this story once it is completed go ahead and do so I will buy it. - NK
I have become such a fan of this series and yes, while this chapter was definitely the weakest so far, please don't take that as a reason to not write the rest! We are all dying to see Scarlet and Donovan get the happy ending they both deserve; the suspense is driving me insane! Keep writing :)
I have to admit I started in the middle of the story and got hooked. I then went back and took the time between your submissions to read the earlier chapters. I now log into new stories everyday sometime multiples times a day to see if you have submitted the next chapter. So please finish the story for those of us who are waiting frantically to see the rescue of Scarlett and her baby, and their reunion with Donovan.
post d next chapter bfore I die from xcitement... :( :(
Please don't leave us hanging, one more chapter please. This is one.
Of the best stories ever. Please let us know what happened.
I'm so MAD at STUPID Donovan!!! He's so stupid, he left the poor girl in lonely and in pain and pregnant for so long and now she's been horribly violated again! She better not forgive him any time soon that stupid bastard >:[ What a stupid selfish jerk he couldn't even take care of her right >:[ this is all his fault for being a loser >:[ Hate Donovan >:[
Please...please...plleassse!! Please post what will happen next!!! I may have just started to read this series only a week or two ago, but I just need to know what will happen next!!!
Please finish
I've really enjoyed your story so far, I would say that maybe things have gotten a little bit too complicated, as mentioned in previous comments Donovan's demeanour was a pretty compelling story on its own.
However you've written a great story which deserves a resolution, so many unanswered questions!
Hey i really find this so engaging!!! the sexual tension is just off the roof and i like the character development!! hope you continue this and update sooon!!!
I've LOVED your story so far- but why so long a wait? You can't seriously leave us with that? I want to know what happens!
Its been a whole year. Or at least of feels like it.... please finish it!!!
I love this story! Please finish it. You cant leave us hanging like this. I cant wait to read more, so please hurry!
Mate, You really need to finish this story or at least submit another chapter sometime soon. You got a pretty good cliff-hanger going here and it's almost agony not knowing where or what you'll do next in the story. You do have a good story going here and it would truly be a shame not to finish it and leave your readers hanging. If nothing else, can you at least give us readers an estimate as to when you might have the next chapter ready for submission - it might stop a few of us from giving up waiting.
This is a great story, I hope that you will be updating it real soon. I love the best friend.
Keep up the great work!!
Way to go !! Its actually plausible !! Although gruesome and I still think old Donovans a bit psycho to say the least .By now I should think the only ending would be our poor Scarlett ending up in a mental institution at the very least after all the things that have been done to her :-(
I'm not sure if this story is in the right category - 'Romance' has left the building long ago! If there was an 'Absurd' category I'd suggest that one. It's strange that with so much time between postings, this story hasn't been better thought out.
When I first started reading this story I was very interested, but now I feel like this is the dumbest story I've ever wasted time reading. Really? I feel as though you are just making stuff up as you go along with out any clear direction or intent. You really need to work on this. And the people that actually like this story after reading this chapter must be like 12 or something. You also need to really sit down and think about more realistic reactions and scenarios because your characters sound like they belong in a cheap low budget soap opera. Sorry to be so harsh but I refuse to keep reading. I am very disappointed. You started off with great potential, then crashed and burned.
I really like the story before the rape scenes :/ i mean cant you judt write a romance story minus the rape incident honestly i was feeling sorry for donovan i believe that a wife's virginity is the greatest gift she could ever give to her husband i wanted donovan to receive that honor to feel that even though he believes that he is a ghastly beast someone so pure and innocent wanted him. Rape scenes are just psychotic theyre totally wrong imagining or hearing them is just too much and you dont need those to spice up or put conflict in the story it might be just fiction but wont you be disgusted with yourself thinking how you enjoyed the fact of writing a rape incident about a girl? Not only that to top it off you made a repeat of it once was enough knowing she was pregnamt with the encounter was worse but having to undergo the same thing again is just sick :/ i hope you change your plotline tjis was the first time ive commented a story before and a bad comment at that :/
I dont understand why you felt the need to add this whole rape thing to the mix
Your story was already sort of out there with the whole she was gambled away, he was obsessed with her, etc. But it was still slightly slightly slightly believable. Now not only is it totally Crazy but it churns my stomach and ruins the whole story. I wish i could take back every star i gave this story.
I swear i loved ur story until this fucking chapter.....it WAS GREAT.....UNTIL u RUINED it.....PREGGO RAPE seriously....might as well throw in a gangbang rape lactation shit for fun.....RUINED IT FOR ME
A SERIOUSLY HEARTBROKEN FAN
Just because people are surprised doesn't mean this came out of nowhere. All of this makes sense in the context of the story. Even the shift in tone was done appropriately. It's a tough read so I understand why some people might not like it. But it's more unrealistic for a woman to get kidnapped and nothing happens to her.