All Comments on 'Beauty's Beast Pt. 02'

This is too far out of believability. Really? A royal marriage turned into such a farce after the vows have been said? So he just decides to cancel marriage and turn her into a slave and the priest is not objecting? Such oblivious parents pushing her into this marriage and now not doing anything? It just doesn't seem logical or believable. It seemed to be interesting from the first chapter, but this seems to have gone off the rails plot-wise. Please at least don't let her succumb to this, it is better to kill herself than to live with such humiliation and absurd treatment.

This is an act of war. Yes, she should not have humiliated him, but this made me sick. I won’t read the rest of this. The first chapter held so much promise.

So sad went this way with it hope she fights not sure if want to read it be really hard to prove that didn't kill his other wifes doing this just shows he's still nothing more then a monster

Short chapter if he didn't kill his other wife's this is wrong way to prove it hope she fights him I will say like the writing just not the content of way story is going but it's your story I just think it's harsh

There is much that i have yet to write. Yes, he is harsh, yes, he has issues, and no this is not a Stockholm Syndrome story. If you guys will be patient, a lot will be revealed in the next chapter.

I like that he is a sadistic controlling asshole. That hopefully will make his fall all the better.

Well there was so much promise. This chapter seemed misjointed and maniac and went from zero to a thousand fast. So I gather all his other wives rather die than be pets or puppies or whatever he has in store for them. I never have wished for a heroine to die or kill the anti-hero so quickly. But here I do hope she does something drastic since she really has nothing to lose- she was humiliated and how can she ever be a queen. And yes she was childish but really he has three wives that are dead. So really a King with no heirs and cannot keep a wife alive wants to ,ale sure four does the same way.

I am sure you had a reason for this but this chapter was not well flushed or thought through. And there is not enough story here to make the wtf bad taste go away. I know this is non con but this went bizarre very quickly. I hope in the next entry you go back to the promise you showed.

After an interest introduction the 2nd chapter seems pretty shallow.Instead of character development and story build -up in this chapter there is a abrupt story plot accelaretion with no much meaning where Ahsaka saws a doubt and Draven's answer is a without warning abrupt public humiliation with none of the audiance (including her parents) to react.Unrealistic and Surreal.I'm not sure that I'll follow the story if continue the same way.

To start with I'd like to say that there are a lot of unreasonable comments being levelled at the author which I feel are incredibly uncalled for. Whilst I do feel that this chapter feels a little rushed, and that things could have been gone into slower, a lot of the complaints just seem to revolve around it not being the exact style of story they were looking for, which I don't think is something that the author should be penalized for in terms of rating (for example I don't like male submissive stories, but I don't go around down rating them because I'm not the intended audience).

Remember people, we want to cultivate authors not bully them away!

That out of the way, I think that your prose flows well, and your dialogue sounds fine and natural. I love pet play, so I'm curious to see where you go with it, but it sounds like you have a good handle on the fetish from what I've seen so far. I do think that you went into things rather quickly, where as a longer introduction to let the characters settle in a bit more would have worked better, but it's sometimes hard to judge these things.

Story-wise, I have to admit that I am curious as to whether the ex-wives actually are dead, or if they're just sex slaves now. I know that I'd prefer the latter to the former, as dead slaves in sexual fantasy stories is a turn off, but I understand that sometimes it's an important part of the narrative. I also think the punishment did seem overly harsh, though again I can't tell if the king has some sort of trick up his sleeve regarding it. Narrative-wise I think that having her freely used sexually by others would be a bad move, as it would make more sense for the king to be the one taking her sexually (why waste his new sex slave on random people), but again, I'm interested to see where the author takes things.

Enjoyable, if not a little short. Keep up the good work and don't let the complainers bring you down :)

5/5 stars

Yes, I will admit that i kinda rushed through this chapter. For a couple reasons:

1) i was trying to get it written and submitted ASAP

2) i found myself trying to appease the demand for sex scenes and sex was not planned for until after she was trained as a pet, so i rushed into her being made into his pet so that in the next chapter or 2, i can start the sex scenes.

3) my plan for the story originally was going to take at least 3-4 chapters until we even got a glimpse of what was in store for Ahsoka. But i got tired of the complaining.

Also, thank you jpmaggers for your words. I kinda needed to hear that.

I really began to like the story than chapter 2 came out. All I can say is yuck and shame on you.

"Shame on you" says the person commenting as Anon on a story published on a website filled with taboo sex stories.... shame on me?! Shame on me for writing my fantasies and feeling good enough to share with all of you. I'm sure you couldn't do much better, you couldn't even use the right form of "then" in your comment. If you don't like it, please move along! There is no need to sit here and tear me down because my writing, my ideas, MY STORY don't fit your ideals of what is "worthy fap content".

This is Your story quality over quantity! Those people just have to wait. I'd really wish you uploaded your version of YOUR OWN STORY!

@fictionsBFF I'm going to. I have requested to have this version deleted and will be uploading the original version once i have edited and revised it.

please more i enjoyed this so much

I see that the latest installment is not everyone's cup of tea. I was not sure what to think about the turn of the plot. I think that it feels rushed and I'm not sure what the words in *stars* mean or if that's just a formatting thing....

I thought he had a curse on him or something (cause usually Beauty and the Beast erotic renditions have something to do with an inhuman aspect or magic), like his previous wives died because they couldn't undo the spell put on him within a year, so he keeps re-marrying to find the lady who will love him despite his bestial desires? Yeah, I don't really know where I'm going with this...but I don't like the thought of him murdering his wives. Also, the timeline doesn't add up. She knew she'd end up marrying him because she was promised to him since their parents know each other and then he goes through three other women before her?

Anyway, I'm glad that you're going to write the story you envisioned to replace this chapter. I'd rather the story progress on its own time and withhold the sex bits until it feels right. Us readers can wait, and are usually willing to wait, for a good build up. Keep on keeping on! I appreciate you putting out content for us to enjoy.

A large number of good stories on here build up to doing the dirty deed and take their time with character and plot development.

I’m glad you are deleting this and now writing the story you want.

Dear WriterTheLyra:

I want to encourage you to continue your story as you see it develop. Sadly so many authors start something and never end it which creates some frustration by the readers. I hope you continue and take it as a learning experience. We don't learn how to walk overnight. Good writing is not done in the first draft and sometimes taking a breath and thinking about it helps.

I was somewhat startled by how quickly it escalated with so many arcs being left open. One of the advantages of this forum is that you get feed back and there is something to learn from both the positive and negative reviews. It human nature to want to lash out, however, it would make sense that we all reflect on when we get feedback (which I assume is also why you posted it in here) and figure out if there is some grain of truth.

Pet play is not my favorites specially when not done consensual but I was looking forward to figuring out how this would fit in the "Beauty and the Beast" concept you alluded to. I found this chapter harsh and unreal but from your explanation it seems you didn't really have time to think about it.

I am curious about why Ashoka and her parents put up with this and some of the set up was a little off (so she knew she was going to marry him but he was married three times already). I hope some clarity comes from this. And while I respect your thoughts you are sharing with us for free your ideas it also makes sense for you to look at the feedback for what its worth,

Look forward to reading revised part and enjoyed your ability to create such emotion in so many that is huge!

Wow I read most of the stories and lot are good and a turn on for your readers But gosh . This felt rushed and pulled together by a lot of loose strings. We could have waited for sex to get the background of characters.. I was very reluctant to leave this review after you tore into the last bad review you got .. But being i am in the business . I figured I would give you a honest review..

This started as a intriguing and interesting story. Than he turns all twisted but the background to get to that part isn't there.. There is not a lot of diameters to the tale yet. But I like the rest feel its way to rushed. I am glad you are rewriting the story... but wish you could take a little constructive criticism from fans . Not everyone is going to like your work :( but it is your heart and soul :) do not let it get to you :) take what they write and use it to make yourself and story stronger

While, yes, usually I can take negative comments pretty well, I'll admit i had already been having a super bad day and I know that is no excuse for the way I lashed out. I'm sorry to the person I lashed out at and I appreciate the feedback.

I have requested from an admin that this whole story (parts one AND two) be removed and will be working on it the way I initially envisioned.

Honestly, my plan is two write 4 or 5 chapters before releasing anything, that way, I can hopefully appease my readers' desires for more (if they want more, that is), while maintaining my individuality and original hope for this story.

The story really wasn't planned to be connected to BATB at all, it was just the first title I could come up with.

But for future reference, in the original story, Draven is still quite harsh toward Ahsoka, it just takes more time to be revealed. If you are not into the following, my story (whichever version I may post) may not be for you and I ask you to keep that in mind should you decide to keep following Ahsoka's journey:

-Petplay

-Rape

-Sadism

-Humiliation

-Degradation

...

While, yes, I have been a recreational writer for as long as I can remember, please keep in mind that I am young, human, and bound to make mistakes. I can genuinely say that while I have gotten better at this art, I am in no way an expert and still have very much to learn. Please forgive me for any future mistakes.

Thank you,

Lyra Mae

For me it was a good story,loved it,left me even more curious,im not into pet stories and rape but i love this one, plz dnt delete it...just ignore the haters and do your own thing.

I don't comment much, but reading through the comments I felt the need to write something.

What I've just read is well written, well enough to interest me no matter the subject of the story.

The subject itself though is also interesting. After reading this I'm already thinking of ways the story could go, which is definitly a good sign.

As far as realism goes; there are gradations. Some people want a very realistic story, other don't. You must write whatever is relevant to the plot and that which you find enjoyable to write.

I will read future chapters. :)