Because I Still Love You Ch. 03

'Damn you, Lea. I love you. The past one month has been hell for me ...' he whispered as he stroked her back. 'I miss you, sweetie ... so much ...'

'I wish I could change things ...,' said Lea dreamily as Ken dragged her towards his table.

'Like?' prompted Ken as he took her hands into his. 'Our marriage?'

'No, never that,' replied Lea as she squeezed his hand. 'I wish I had never left you and gone to New York. I should have been stubborn and followed my heart.'

'Lea, what happened, happened baby. You can't change that,' said Ken as he held her gaze. 'I am happy that you are here, now. That's all that matters to me, cutie pie,' he completed and placed a kiss on her knuckles.

***

Although they had spent some time together during the reception, Lea had been reluctant in spending the night with Ken. She had taken the guest room and Ken was forced to spend another lonely night in his cold bedroom. Ken tossed and turned in bed unable to sleep, thanks to the thunder and lightning outside. And while he was awake all he remembered was the feel of his wife in his arms. The way in which her breasts pressed against him, her lips -- sweet and soft under his mouth, her smile which lit up his world and the way in which she had looked at him the entire night. He could never forget the love which reflected in her blue eyes. And she still was the same -- his Lea, cracking the same stupid jokes, pulling his leg whenever she got the chance and she still loved him. He was certain about the last thing. That was his last thought as he flung away the duvet and walked towards the guest bedroom, forgetting the fact that he was almost naked. To be with her being the most important need of the hour.

***

Lea looked at the rain that lashed against the windows. The weather was perfect for love-making. If only she had allowed ... Ken wanted her and it was her own foolishness that made her ask him to spend the night in separate rooms. She remembered how right she had felt in his arms when they were dancing. The protective way in which Ken held her as if she was the most fragile thing on Earth and his whole life depended on her. And the kiss ... She still shivered as she remembered their heated kiss -- the way in which his mouth had possessed hers, the feel of his lips against hers. She ran a finger against her lips wishing that she could just re-live the moment again ...

And suddenly, the bedroom door flew open. As it did, a jagged streak of lightning illuminated Ken, standing in the doorway, shoulders filling it.

'Lea.'

His voice was rough. The sound of it, the sight of him, a beautiful predator, fueled not by rage but by desire, and she knew she was lost.

'Ken,' she whispered as she sat up.

Their eyes met, and she flew to him.

His arms wrapped around her. He clasped her face in his hands and kissed her, angling his mouth over hers again and again as he pushed her back against the wall.

'Tell me what you want,' he growled.

'You,' she said, 'you, you ...'

He groaned, kissed her again and she opened her mouth to his pillaging tongue. He nipped the soft flesh of her bottom lip, nipped her throat and she moaned and rubbed herself against him, wanting this, wanting him, more than she wanted life.

She reached between them, cupped her hand over his erection, felt it straining against the rough denim of his jeans.

He said something low and urgent, told her what he was going to do to her in blunt, hot terms that made her lift her mouth for another soul-shattering kiss.

Then he unzipped his jeans, dragged down her sweatpants, lifted her in his arms and thrust into her.

Her cry of pleasure, the almost instantaneous contractions of her muscles as they spasmed around him, almost destroyed his control. Sweat beaded his knotted muscles as he held her against the wall, as he drove into her again, put his hand between them, found her slick heat and caressed her until she sobbed his name and came again in his arms.

Then, only then, Ken let go. Came on one long, impossibly long rush of ecstasy, his head back, his lips drawn away from his teeth. Spilled himself into her until logic said there could be nothing left.

To hell with logic.

'Lea,' he whispered, and he lifted her in his arms and carried her to the bed, still inside her, still hard...

Still wanting her.

***

The bedroom was silent, except for Lea's soft moans as Ken made love to her.

He withdrew from her slowly. God, so slowly it made him tremble. She reached for him but he took her hands, kissed the palms, kissed her mouth and told her they had all the time in the world now.

Time to make things right. Time to take things one at a time.

To taste her honeyed mouth, her skin, and her throat, there, just at the hollow and there, at the juncture of neck and shoulder. That made her purr with contentment and he did it again, nipping her lightly, and then soothing the small hurt with his tongue.

And, all the while, he cupped her breasts with his hands, ran his thumbs over her nipples. He groaned at her swift response to the gentle torment and, finally, lowered his mouth to taste their sweetness, to taste her nipples, pale rose and beaded ... eager for the heat of his mouth.

God, she had beautiful breasts.

He loved the silken feel of them. The way they fit his hands. The way she arched her back when he sucked her nipples into his mouth.

And those sounds she made.

They were enough to take him over the edge but he wouldn't let that happen. Not this time. He wanted to make this last. To kiss all of her. Taste all of her. Then, only then, would he kneel between her thighs and possess her again. Slowly, he moved down Lea's body, kissing, sucking, and licking her flesh while she twisted with excitement beneath him, taking the clean, woman-scent of her deep into his nostrils, stroking her belly, circling her navel with the tip of his tongue.

'Ken,' she whispered. She reached for him again, her hands clutching at his shoulders, and there was something in the whispered word, in her questioning touch, something so sweet and, yes, so innocent that it sent a shudder of pleasure through him.

'Yes, baby,' he said softly, and slid his fingers through the soft curls that guarded her feminine heart.

And touched her.

A wild cry that started in the very center of her burst from her throat. He looked up at her face, watched the shock, the pleasure turn her eyes wide, and something fierce roared in his blood.

'Do you like this?' he said thickly.

'Oh God,' she whispered. 'Ken. Ken ...'

He parted her with his fingertips. Saw how beautiful she was. The petals of her labia. The pink bud of her clitoris.

He cupped her bottom, lifted her to him and stroked her with his tongue. Her cry rang out in the silence of the room; her hands dug into his hair.

Her taste was exquisite; it rocketed through him and when she cried out and came against his mouth, he thought his heart might explode with pleasure.

He lifted his head, wanting to see her face at this moment, wanting to see her eyes, yes, dark like that. Her hair, yes, wild against his pillows. Her skin flushed and damp and, God, he wanted more, more ...

She reached for him. 'Ken.' Her voice shook. 'Come into me. I want you inside me.'

The soft plea, the touch of her hand, pushed him to the edge. He kissed her, deeply. He whispered that she was beautiful. And then sank into her as slowly as the fever gripping him would allow. He wanted this moment to last forever ... the heat of her around him, the softness of her beneath him and her little cries as he filled her.

When he was deep, deep inside her, he began to move.

Slowly still. Each stroke almost more than he could take.

He could feel the thud of his heart and hers. The contractions of her body as she rose to his thrusts. The world was fracturing around him. He couldn't think. There was only this. This. This...

Lea cried out and clung to him.

'I can't,' she said. 'I can't ...'

'Don't be afraid,' he whispered. 'I am here. I am with you. I won't let you fall.'

He felt it happen ... The pulsing of her womb. And as she cried out, he let go, let go of everything and flew with her into the starlit universe.

***

Lea knew something was terribly wrong as soon as she opened her eyes the next morning. The space beside her in the bed was empty and cold. She put on a robe and walked out into the living room. She walked into the living room and the smell of coffee was fresh in the air. She walked into the kitchen only to find Ken busy with the coffee maker. He seemed to be engrossed in some deep thought and it looked like he didn't even see her enter.

'Good morning,' whispered Lea as she stood with a smile on her face.

'Good morning,' said Ken casually, not even paying her a glance.

'I will freshen up and be right back,' said Lea as she waited for Ken's reply.

'Ok,' said Ken busy measuring the amount of decaf to be used.

Lea rushed into Ken's bedroom and shut the door. She went into the shower and whipped off the robe. She allowed the cold spray of water to cool down her rising temper. She thought that things would be good after last night. But Ken didn't even give her a cursory glance. She felt dejected and lonely. Dammit, what the hell was wrong with them?

***

'What's wrong?' asked Lea as soon as she sat before him, with a cup of coffee in her hand.

'Nothing,' said Ken as he kept reading the morning newspaper.

Lea slammed her cup on the table and snatched the paper from him. And before Ken could react, she scrambled into his lap and looped her arms around his neck.

'I have had enough of your "nothings". Now, time for a proper answer,' said Lea as she looked into his eyes.

'Everything is fine, Lea. Trust me, nothing is wrong,' said Ken as he tried to pry her hands away.

'Since when did you start lying?' asked Lea as she pushed his hands away and ran her fingers through his hair. 'I love you, baby. Now, tell me,' she ordered.

'I love you too.' His mouth twisted. 'Lea, if I allow my feelings to rule my life, something will happen. Something like what happened in New York. And if it happens, Jesus, if it does—'

She caught his face in her hands, drew it down and pressed her mouth to his.

'Nothing will happen, Ken. Not with me to take care of you.'

A muscle knotted in his jaw. 'Don't underestimate me. Just because you got through my barrier doesn't mean that it can happen again ...'

She clasped his face more tightly, as if she was afraid he would turn away. 'Ken. It won't happen again.'

'The hell it won't. That is why we are having this conversation now.'

'We don't have any more issues between us. Everything is settled.'

'Settled? Nothing is settled, Lea.'

'All right.' Lea's voice rose. 'You are again going to be a pain in the ass. But I don't think so. And you would never hurt me. I know you wouldn't.'

Ken's face hardened. He caught Lea's wrists and brought her arms to her side.

'Let's not talk about this, okay? You can't underestimate me. Do us both a favor and leave it there.'

'Damn you,' she said, her voice rising with anger. 'Listen to me. I am not you mistress. I am not your fuck buddy. I am you wife. I am the one whom you married and I will make sure that this marriage works. I will do anything and everything to make sure that you are mine and I am yours. I will fight, Ken and even if it means that I will have to fight with you.'

'Fight with me?' The scorn in Ken's voice stung, but she ignored it.

'Exactly. I love you. I didn't just sleep with you, for God's sake! I ... I wouldn't. Because ... because ...'

'Because?'

Lea took a shuddering breath. 'Because I don't sleep around just for the sake of it. Because I am not that kind of woman. Because there isn't a single guy out there who can make me feel, like what I feel when I am with you, like what you make me feel ... There was nothing between me and Michael. He is just a friend. You have got to trust me on this, Ken. You are the only one who ... who ...'

Ken muttered an oath, pulled her into his arms and held her close. He tried to kiss her, but she turned her face away.

'If you can't accept me as who I am,' she said in a shaky whisper, 'if I am going to see doubt in your eyes whenever we make love, then what happened last night was a mistake.'

A man expected ultimatums from women before. Tell me you love me, or it's over. Ask me to marry you, or I am out of here. But never had an ultimatum been delivered with such quiet dignity. And he loved it. Loved the angle of Lea's chin, the pride of self in her eyes, loved ... loved ...

'Ken?'

He dragged his mind back from wherever it had been going.

'You are right,' he said softly. 'I had no right to question you or doubt you.' He smiled. 'I am sorry, sweetheart. I promise it won't happen again.'

Some of the stiffness went out of her. 'I would never lie to you, Ken. Not about anything.'

He loved the way she said his name. The way she met his eyes.

'So,' he said gently, 'you will answer any question I ask you? The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?'

He smiled, to make sure she understood that he was teasing. After a second or two, she smiled in return.

'Uh-huh.' She put her hands under his T-shirt and spread them over his chest. 'What do you want to know?'

He lowered his head to hers and nibbled lightly at her mouth.

'For starters,' he said softly, 'how did you come to be so beautiful? And so stubborn?' He smiled. 'Most women would walk right away if a guy behaved like a possessive bastard.'

Lea laughed. 'You have had experience with that sort of thing before?'

'Trust me,' Ken said solemnly, 'I never had a woman with whom I could trust as much as I trust you.' He locked his hands at the base of her spine. 'And here you are ... sitting before me ... promising me that you will make things work by hook or by crook.'

'Because I wanna be with you and I still love you, Ken. This fact is not going to change.'

She said the words with such simple conviction that they made his heart swell.

'I am sorry,' he said softly. 'Not that I don't want you with me.' He kissed her gently. 'I am sorry I was so rough on you, baby.'

'You were just doing what you thought was right. It happens, baby.'

'No.' He cleared his throat. 'I was judging you. And I had no right to do that.' He hesitated. 'I am too possessive about the people whom I love. I can't bear to see them with someone other than me. When I saw you with Michael in the university for the first time, that's when things started ...'

'You thought I was falling for Michael?' she asked, her voice low.

'No,' he said roughly, clasping her shoulders hard. 'Not that. I never thought that you were interested in Michael. But I thought that if you weren't mine, I could lose you to him or to anybody else ... You are ... you are the most important thing in my life, you are special to me.' He hesitated, wanting to tell her how he felt but not wanting to hurt her again. 'Lea, I spent a long time waiting for a girl to love me as much as I loved her and may be that is why I still feel that I may lose you if I let you go ... You understand?'

Lea nodded. Her face was pale, but why wouldn't it be? God, he was an idiot! Lea was his wife; this was some insane part of his mind that he was talking about ... a part Lea wasn't aware of.

'Baby. Forgive me.' He gave a little laugh. 'Talk about morning after conversation ...'

'No. Don't apologize. I am glad you explained. I want you to remember something, Ken. You are the only one for me. I want you in my life. There is no place for a third person. You are the only one for whom my heart beats,' said Lea and tugged his hand, placing it on her heart.

He smiled into her eyes. 'I know.' His voice roughened as he opened the sash of her robe. 'And it's the same here.' He swept his gaze over her, felt himself harden as he did. 'Have I told you how lovely you are?'

She smiled. Better still, color crept back into her face.

Gently, he kissed her throat. 'Lovely. And delicious. Here. And here,' he whispered, cupping her breasts, then sucking a nipple deep into his mouth.

She gave one of those sexy little moans he loved.

'You don't need this,' he said, drawing the robe from her shoulders.

'Ken ...'

'Shh, sweetie. Let me make love to you. No. Don't do anything. Just let me touch you and watch your face. I want to see what pleases you.'

Everything, she thought, everything he did.

'Spread your legs for me,' he said, his voice thick and slurred. 'Yes. That's right.'

She whispered his name but he didn't answer. His eyes were hot on hers; just looking at him made her tremble. Slowly, she obeyed his honeyed command. She could feel herself weeping against his palm.

'Do you like this?' he whispered.

His fingers sought out her clitoris. Stroked it. His thumb was on her nipple. Then his mouth. It was too much. His hand. His lips. He was fully dressed and she was naked, at his mercy. Naked and loving what he was doing to her. Loving the feel of his hand. Of his mouth. Loving this...

Loving him. I love you, Ken, she thought wildly, I love you ...

A cry tore from Lea's throat. Her legs gave way; she tumbled forward, into her lover's strong embrace.

'Shh,' he whispered, and kissed her. 'You are safe. You are safe, sweetie. I have you, right here in my arms.'

He lifted her, carried her to their bedroom and lay her down on the mattress. Slowly, his eyes never leaving hers, he undressed, baring his beautifully sculpted body.

Lea held out her arms.

He came down to her. Covered her. Took her hand and brought it to his silk-over-steel erection. Caught his breath as she guided him to her, lifted her hips and took him deep inside.

'Ken,' she said on a little sob as he began to move. 'Ken ...'

Sensation coursed through her like quicksilver. Ken groaned, whispered her name and took her with him into sheer white mind-blowing pleasure.

'I missed you, Lea,' whispered Ken as she settled on his side. 'I love you.'

'I missed you too, baby,' said Lea as she clasped his shoulder and laid her head on his chest, snuggling into him. 'I am not letting you go so soon, Ken. I won't.'

Ken smiled as he listened to Lea's words, silently thanking God for the precious woman in his arms. He ruffled her hair as she murmured his name, and cuddled closer.

'I love you,' he mouthed and dropped a kiss on her forehead, making her sigh and drift into sleep. He had her in his arms, she was his and all the other things can be worked out because she still loved him ...

***

THE END

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