All Comments on 'Becoming 'Dad' Ch. 01'

That exciting and sexy. I like to try to deep throat a cock once. Hope there next chapter.

Damn that was hot, and well written, and just... damn.

Considering your description says:

"Infatuated with my roommate's 18 year-old son."

I can't see what anonymous with his "take this gay shit somewhere else" is complaining about - it was pretty obvious what he was going to read.

I really enjoyed your story, and I would only make one suggestion, which is made to many of Literotica's new authors.

You could do with an editor/proofreader.

Just so you can get some idea why I say this:

Sometimes you call Brian "Brain"

Some of your sentences are a bit off:

"My sleeping boxers are all in the laundry, theses are all I have." - these are all I have

You keep doing this:

"I knew where this was headed... For disaster" - the ellipsis "..." is not the end of a sentence - so you do not capitalize. It should be:

"I knew where this was headed ... for disaster" (note the ellipsis is space, three full stops, space)

There are several more, but hopefully now that you are aware of them, you may spot them yourself.

Regards

Gwynd@PS

Where is the incest or taboo, Unless the kid and his papa are boning? Dad is just a joke name, not his relationship. Should be in gay section.

Poorly written and needs proof reading.

Yes, there are a few minor errors, but it's a good story and very hot. I like it that the younger is taking the dominant role, rather then the other way around. Although mostly a top, I love sucking cock, especially big, young cock, so can imagine I would react in a similar way.