Becoming Pam

When he stepped up close behind me and moved his hands lightly over my shoulders and down my arms I felt goose bumps rise on my flesh making my areolae contract causing my nipples to harden and grow even more.

"Oh yessss Pam. I'm in control now and there's going to be a LOT more touching this time."

I shuddered as his hands reached the ends of my arms and moved between us to cup my ass.

"I love your ass Pam." He whispered in my ear. " I've always loved your ass and it is going to be so great to have some time to play with it. Walk across the room" He commanded, giving my ass a little pat as he did.

I slowly walked across the room, knowing that his eyes were glued to Pam's backside as the heels caused me to sway it to and fro.

"Magnificent. Now turn around and come back. Nice and slow. Let me savour it."

I spun on my toe and sashayed back towards him. I wasn't happy about being blackmailed into doing this, but the act of exposing Pam to Randy was getting me very turned on, and like last time, I was starting to feel a bit submissive.

When I reached him, I stopped, facing him, and felt his hands run up my arms and over my shoulders. At this light touch, the goose bumps returned and my nipples throbbed. Palms down, he dragged his fingertips from my shoulders down over my heaving breasts and finally agonizingly he gently cupped them and strummed his fingers back and forth across my nipples. He continued this sweet motion as he leaned down and kissed me gently on the forehead

"Oh Pam baby. As much as I love your ass, your tits and nipples are incredible. I knew this would be the perfect outfit for our evening together"

He wouldn't stop calling me by her name. Randy kept treating me like I actually was my wife. The entire center of my body felt like melted butter, and I could feel some of that butter leaking out into the thong.

"Randy" I could barely form the words. "Randy. I'm so turned on. I'm so wet. We have to stop. We can't go too far. She'll know, she'll know if something happens."

It was the first time I had admitted that "something" could happen, and Randy was quick on the uptake.

"Something? What something might that be?" He groaned. Something like this?" And he moved his hand down my belly and into my panties.

In one smooth unimpeded motion he sank his middle finger up to the knuckle in my cunt. The suddenness of the penetration and the intensity of the feelings it elicited caused my knees to buckle and my head to arch back. Randy's hand left my breast and slipped around my waist to support me as he leaned in and kissed me full on the mouth. At the same time, with his finger still wiggling inside me he pressed the heel of his palm into by pubic bone, causing me to moan into his mouth. When his tongue started to press between my lips, I freaked.

"No." I said, pushing away from him. "I'm not Pam. I can't do that with you." I panted.

But deep inside I wasn't sure that I would be able to resist if he did try it again.

"OK. Just as well" he whispered. "So far Pam has been getting all the attention and I think it's time for some payback."

I didn't know exactly what he meant, but I didn't really like the sounds of it.

"I know that you won't fuck me because you're afraid that she'll know when she wakes up, and I know if you won't let my tongue into your mouth, you probably won't let me push my dick in there either. So a hand job sounds like the best compromise for us both" He said smiling as he pulled his tee shirt over his head and started unbuckling his belt.

I stood there stunned as Randy kicked off his jeans and shorts and walked towards me naked with his cock sticking straight out. When he reached me he hugged me to him and for the first time I felt a hard cock poking at my tummy, then slipping upwards between us as our bodies met. I could feel the heat of his rod on my stomach as he leaned in for another quick kiss.

"Come on Pam," He whispered, "just a little hand job."

He grabbed my right hand and slid it between us toward his thick cock, then pressed my fingers around his manhood. As he did this I realized Pam's fingers were barely able to go all the way around. Holding his cock in my hand I could feel it pulse with his arousal and then he started to move my hand on his cock.

"Oh God Pam. This is so great. Let's sit down so you can really work it over."

He grabbed my other hand and guided us to the sofa, where he sat me down next to him. He squeezed my fingers around his turgid cock and guided my stroking motion with a slight twist (Just the way he liked it he said). Randy put one arm around my shoulder and the other on the back of the sofa and watched as I stroked him. It was taking some time, but I knew it was working as his breath started to come in small gasps. I looked down at my wife's tiny manicured hand stroking the hard cock protruding from between Randy's thighs and felt his muscles tense as he neared his climax.

"Get down in front of me." he commanded. "Let me come on your tits."

I didn't argue. I just slipped to my knees between his spread legs and continued stroking.

"Use both hands." he whispered. "Don't squeeze so hard. Use a little spit"

I could tell he was getting close and I needed to finish him and get back home. So I spit on his cock as I stroked it towards me.

"Again. More spit"

I complied. Once. Twice. Three times I spit on his cock, stroking, always stroking.

"Not enough." He groaned. "Lick it. Lick the head"

I didn't think. I simply complied. I opened my mouth and licked the end.

"Again. Keep going"

Submissively I obeyed. Licking again and again. Lost in my own arousal

"Hey. Look up." Breathless

And as I raised my eyes to his I saw the camera at the same instant as he blew his wad onto my tongue and into my mouth. It was a huge shot that covered my tongue with jizm. Sputtering and spitting I tried to pull back but he grabbed me and squirted four more jets onto my forehead and cheeks.

I was furious. Pam was covered in cum and it was going to take a long time to clean her up and get this taste out of her mouth. The front of the bustier was soaked in spit and cum, but that was assholes problem.

"YOU BASTARD. YOU SON OF A BITCH" I screamed. "You tricked me. You came in my mouth. WHAT THE FUCK?"

At that instant , we heard approaching sirens and then a horrendous thump that felt like an earthquake. We ran to the front window and looked across the street to my house, and saw the back end of a muscle car sticking out of my living room. Half of the front of the house was collapsed around it. People were starting to come out of their houses, yelling for someone to call 911. Two police cruisers pulled up lights flashing. The horror struck me immediately. Pam, in my body had been asleep on the couch which must surely by now be trapped under the car and rubble. Oh no.

+++CH03+++

All I could hear was a woman's voice screaming and wailing. Howling at the top of her lungs. Then I felt the slap on my face, and the screaming stopped. It had been me. Randy grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me until I came to my senses. What senses I had left anyway.

"Pam" he yelled "Pam we have to get over there. Make it look like you were in the house too, just in another room or something. Pam. PAM"

"Stop calling me Pam you asshole" I blurted "For all we know Pam's dead" I moaned "DEAD"

Randy slapped me again to stop the hysteria.

"PAM" he said slowly. You have to put your coat on and get over there. NOW!"

He grabbed the coat and pulled it up my arms draping it across my shoulders and quickly fastened the top few buttons, then opened the side door.

"Here" he said giving me a shove towards the street. "When you get to the street find a cop and get as hysterical as you want. Just remember it's Brian, it's your husband Brian who's trapped in the house. I'll get dressed and be right out"

I was in shock and I stumbled toward the street. Everyone was looking at the wreck and nobody saw where I came from. I grabbed the nearest cop and started screaming that my husband was in there. That I had been in another room.

"Who are you lady?" He asked gruffly. "Where did you come from?"

"The house. THE HOUSE" I screamed. "I was in another room. Is he dead? OH GOD is Brian DEAD?" and I started screaming again as the cop led me to the ambulance.

As I was guided into the bright lights of the ambulance, my state of undress became obvious. The cop and the paramedic both took a good long look at my exposed lower body before they pulled my coat closed and sat me down.

"Are you hurt anywhere?" The paramedic asked. "You have something spilled all over your face, and there's a redness showing that something might have hit you. Let's get you into the rig and I'll give a quick check over." This as he guided me into the back of the ambulance and closed the doors.

"Here. Let's just slip this coat off so I can examine you" he soothed as he opened the buttons and pushed my coat open.

I heard a faint gasp as he took in my attire. My wife's, now my body, was sitting in a topless bustier, garters and hose, completely exposed to this stranger. He quickly grabbed a sheet from the shelf and draped it over me.

"Do you know what this is all over your face? Here. Let me help you clean up a bit." He said kindly.

As he started to wipe the come off my face and out of my hair, he got a funny look on his face. Then he slowly began to smile.

"There. There." He soothed let's get this spunk off our face before anyone else sees it.

It struck me like a thunderbolt. I had been in such a panic, that I had run into the street with Randy's cum all over my face and hair and this paramedic knew exactly what it was. I started to cry uncontrollably and the paramedic became concerned.

"Were you anywhere near the crash? Are you hurt anywhere?" He asked.

"No, no, I'm fine" I sniffled "I'm just ashamed of how I must look."

"Don't worry about that. You look fine. I got your face pretty much all cleaned up. Here's a package of wipes and a set of scrubs that should fit you. You can clean up the rest and cover up. Regulations say I can't leave you in here alone but I'll turn my back while you change."

"Thank you. Thank you very much for your kindness and consideration" I said as I started using the wipes to clean up my chest and breasts.

There was spit and cum all down my front so I stripped off the bustier and hose and slipped on the scrubs.

"Do you have a garbage can where I can toss these away?" I asked as I turned to face him.

He turned back to me and indicated a bin near the door. I handed him the bundle of clothes and he pushed them into the garbage can. I was starting to feel better now that I was clean and covered up.

"Thank you again for your kindness." I said "It really means a lot to me."

It was about that time that the rescue squad reached "Brian" and declared that he had indeed been killed in the accident. So had the joyrider who had stolen the muscle car. When the officer came over to the ambulance and told me, I freaked out. Pam was dead. My little fetish had killed her. It was all my fault. I couldn't fight the panic and sorrow over what had happened and I threw a screaming, crying, cussing, all-out tantrum. To the outside world I was a distraught woman who had tragically lost her husband. The paramedic stuck a needle in my arm and, suddenly I was very woozy.

"There you go ma'am. It's just a sedative to help you relax a little bit."

I became the only witness and had to spend a long time with the police. I was able to convince them that I had been in a different part of the house when the accident had occurred.

When the police finally released me, Randy was right there soothing me and telling me I could stay in his guest room tonight. He explained to the police that he was, had been, my husband's best friend and he would be sure that I was OK.

By the time we got to Randy's place the emotional trauma and the sedative had me out on my feet. Randy guided me to the guest room, Stripped me, slid me between the covers and kissed me good night. I fell into a deep and troubled sleep. In the morning I left before he woke up.

"Brian" had left everything to Pam in his will including his fencing business. There was also a sizeable insurance policy that paid double because his death had been an accident. It was a strange experience being my own widow. I arranged the funeral, cleaned up the estate and collected the life and house insurance. The house was a total loss. I realized that I couldn't live there again anyway so instead of rebuilding, I sold out and moved to a small town-house across town. I needed to get back to work so I quit Pam's job and took over the fencing company. I had to pretend not to know too much for a while, and I had to hire a new man to take over the heavy work Brian used to do, but soon enough the business was ticking along. I had cut off all ties with Randy. I was so mad at what he had done to me that night and certainly didn't trust him any more.

Obviously I couldn't hang around with my old friends, but Pam's friends were very supportive and I started to socialize with them. It took a while to get the hang of "girl talk". Obviously this was dangerous territory, so I told them that I was starting a new life and didn't really want to talk much about stuff that happened before the accident. At first it was hard, but they seemed to accept it and as the months went by we had more and more "new" things to talk about.

The first time the girls suggested that I needed to start looking for "someone" I was shocked and laughed it off. They kept it up though and gave me a gift box. I squealed when I opened it and saw it contained a life-size penis shaped vibrator and a small bottle of lube. I must have blushed because they all laughed hysterically as I quickly closed the box.

That night I started thinking about what I should do. At first I thought I might look for a girlfriend, but that might be hard to explain since Pam had been totally heterosexual. Besides, when I thought about it I realized that women held no sexual attraction for me. About a week after the first suggestion Jill and I were sitting in a coffee shop when she leaned over and whispered to me.

"There's a hottie for you. You should walk over and introduce yourself."

I looked at the man she indicated and a felt a little flip in my stomach. He was kind of cute , and before I could stop myself I blurted that out to Jill.

"I bet he would be a lot of fun in the sack" Jill continued. "Check out those broad shoulders, and those tight buns. I love a man with tight buns" This as he passed by and moved to the counter to order.

A warm melting feeling started in my lower abdomen. I had felt that feeling before. With Randy. When I was turned on. Looking at and talking about bedding this guy was turning me on. Oh. No.

+++CH04+++

Panic. A sudden freezing chill ran through me from top to bottom. It must have shown on my face because Jill quickly asked me what was wrong in a very concerned tone of voice. I made up some lame excuse about stomach upset, and excused myself to go home. Jill insisted that she accompany me to make sure I was OK, but I declined saying I would call her if it was anything serious. When I got home, my mind was in turmoil. What was happening to me? Was I turning gay? Then I remembered something I had seen about trans-gendered men who had previously only been sexually attracted to women, and how they became attracted to men after they started hormone therapy. It started to make sense. My brain was flooded with estrogen. Like it or not, my psyche was changing. I had to find out.

I booted up the computer and pulled up a porn site that I had enjoyed periodically as Brian. As I scanned through the pictures of the women, I felt no arousal whatsoever, but when I clicked on a picture of a couple, my eyes drifted to the man and I felt it. It turned me on. I Googled another site with pictures of men and found myself scanning through them mesmerized. It took about 15 minutes before I stumbled upon my Adonis. He was big and muscular with a large pink cock hanging between his legs. As I clicked through picture after picture of him in various poses, I started to feel the wetness seeping into my panties. Broad chest, strong arms, ripped abs, his cock. I opened my pants, jammed my hand down the front and started to diddle my clit. The orgasm that shook through me was nice, but unsatisfying. Not enough.

The vibrator! Where the hell had I left it. I ran to the front hall, opened the closet and there was the gift box. I grabbed it and ran back to the computer. It took me a few frustrating minutes to set up a slide show of Adonis' pictures change into a robe and get a towel to sit on. I leaned back and watched the pictures as I pleasured myself with my hands. It only took a couple minutes before I felt an urge, a desperate need for something more. I grabbed the vibrator, turned it on low and brought it to my pussy. The intensity of the sensations took my breath away. My arousal skyrocketed into the stratosphere. I'd had no sexual feelings for almost 8 months and I was being blown away. I felt achingly empty "down there" I felt a strong need to be filled. My pussy was actually drooling so there was no need for the lube. I repositioned the vibrator in my hand so the tip was at my entrance and slowly pushed it in. The loud sexy groan I heard was me. I was being stretched and stimulated in a way that I had never imagined. I leaned back in the chair, lifted my legs, and placed my feet on the edge of the desk on either side of the computer. I could look between my bent knees and see the pictures of Adonis flashing up on the screen. I couldn't resist. I started to stroke the vibrating cock in and out. Slowly at first, and then as I became more excited, faster and faster.

This was it. This is what it felt like to be fucked. I continued to stroke in and out, adding a little twist which made me think of that night with Randy. My hand on his cock. Stroking with a little twist. Then I thought of the first time when I had opened my eyes and seen him standing between my legs jacking his cock over my nakedness. The huge spurt of semen onto my body. My mind raced back to the second time. My small hand stroking his cock. Then,spitting on his cock Licking the head. Tasting his cum. OH GOD. Tasting his cum. Every muscle in my body went rigid, and then I orgasmed. I felt my pussy clamp down on the rubber phallus, and then pulse quickly, as the waves of pleasure washed over me. Again and again my muscles spasmed until I thought that it might never stop. My whole body was jerking and spasming. I kicked the computer and knocked things off the desk. I almost fell off the chair. Enough. I couldn't take any more. I pulled the vibrator out of my pussy allowing a flood of my juices to pour out into the towel. I was still feeling little orgasmic aftershocks.

When I finally came back to earth, I pulled my robe together gathered the wet towel and headed for the bathroom. I felt so mellow that I decided to take a nice long bath. When I poured the bath oil into the steaming water the whole world smelled gorgeous. Stripping off the robe, I slipped into the hot water and, totally relaxed, closed my eyes. The hot water caressed my body sensuously. I started to drift. Unbidden, visions of cock swam through my mind. Change rooms, rest rooms, friends. I started to think of that cute paramedic. The one who had been so kind to me. And how he had cleaned the spunk from my face and how he knew what it was. I wonder what his cock looks like? Oh my.

+++CH05+++

Clean and relaxed, I slipped into bed and fell quickly asleep. There was much confusion in the days that followed. Visions of cocks large and small drifted through my mind and I had a hard time focusing at work. Randy was still on my shit list for what he had done to me the night Pam died, but I couldn't get the memory of our encounter out of my head. Masturbation, even with the vibrator left me wanting. There was only one person in the whole world who knew what had happened and that's the only person I could talk to about this. Finally I picked up the phone and dialled Randy.