All Comments on 'Behind Blue Eyes'

You got around to giving Loud Howard a tale. And a reason to keep rereading the previous stories over and over again to see who else will pop up in this world.

And thanks for letting me know how to escape Monster if our paths should cross.

I'll be the biggest kid he ever saw. Complete with a pacifier and filled diaper if he was coming for me...I will assure him I'm no threat. I just need a nap. Whew!

Keep them coming.

A motion picture perfect moment again.^5erssss dude

Reading this story is like being the new guy at poker table with the competition having known each other all their life . I enjoyed the story for multiple individual scenes as opposed to the big picture quest of payback owed to nefarious financier.

The bad guy was "talked about" but his handling by the author was " tell not show. " You gotta let the bad guy ( who often doesn't see himself as bad ) strut , sweat and outrage the audience for max empathy felt for hero or heroine .

What the author chose to do was done with elan. I liked the two main characters finding each other in their September years and how they gradually bonded. So predictable, but I am a sap for those opposite world attractions and Todd172 adroitly slathered the cheese on thick as a counterbalance to all that saberrattling military hardware trotted out. I thank the author for sharing.

I must be the laziest reader here. It's just too much of an investment to have to read that many of your stories just to be able to read this one. And the comments seem to support this decision. Thanks for sharing with the rest of our troop

1st PysOps '66 -> '69

Oodles of FUN & "Ain't No Thang"

Excellent Retirement story & an Evil Member from the "1000 Familes"

This is like a scene from a bad Bollywood movie...go to kill bad guy..then stood explaining to the bad guys...ball blah.blah....shoot n kill the whore already...ugh..Read half a page n m pulling my hair out....HATE IT..So WONT READ THE REST...

Not to differ with Todd, but this truly can be easily read as standalone. I could be mistaken, I often am, but I don't believe that those stories impact the plot. They simply give some background to some of characters here.

Probably the closest tie-in plot-wise is "Blue Topaz Eyes, Ch 2 - Emma's Tale", which gives a good back-story for Evie.

This was a very nice story, big brother. I enjoyed it very much. That being said, it was a regression in style. I found it distracting from the impact and not working very well for this longer story. For instance, from the last page:

"Pogo shot me a look. I glanced around the bar, at the odd, twisted, little family we'd assembled over the years.

Fuck-ups, whores, sociopaths, obsessive murderers and drunks.

Spooky's words.

Maybe we could help."

There is absolutely no reason for this being four paragraphs. It was just jerky and staccato. Still, your most involved and complicated plot to date. Full marks from me. Very nice story. I was afraid you had retired. Hugs from Mom and the little sister.

to follow up and on after, is a godsend to survive TK U MLJ LV NV

I'm obviously biased, but I just loved this, in fact the whole "Shack" series.

As usual, another masterpiece.

You are going to be able sell this if you want...

Boy, do I love your stories. Great stuff. Please, keep them coming.

I am also one of those lazy guys that doesn't like to read connected stories to get the gist of this one. I did enjoy the story about the woman that was so sad and the heroes saved her kid, but a story for each oddball in the bar requires more effort and attention than I care to invest. Apparently it worked well for many readers. Put it on SOL and create a Universe for it. I like the stories of yours that I have read, but I never got into it when DQS started tying characters together in different stories, and I still don't with this series. That certainly is not a reason to stop, as the world at large seems to love it. The disconnect is my problem, not yours.

Thanks for a 5 star read.

You have a GLOSSARY too?

I looked at the score and I was going to read this story but I didn't. Why? Because this is six pages and from your tone, I cannot read THIS story without reading (seemingly) about a half a dozen other stories.

Now, I don't have a problem when one can read the story without missing huge chunks. I try to make my connected stories at least accessible reading that alone unless it is a multichapter story

However, I did not have the fortitude to go through 18 pages just to get to this one.

Maybe later.

That being said, I don't mind connections but each story needs to be able to stand alone. Otherwise it is off putting to a casual reader just wanting to get started. It is a major effort to start in the middle of any story.

Since I am a casual beginner...I looked elsewhere for the now.

Another well written story. It is well worth the effort to read all of the stories in order.

But I expect that from Toddington now.

This was another fine addition to the shack series that I thoroughly enjoyed.

Thanks to the author for submitting such good stories.

The characters and dialogue are first class.

5*

P.s. any story with angel in it is well worth a read no matter how little her involvement.

Ment Todd not Toddington ffs

It's how I figure out what's working and what's not. I appreciate it.

I have to say of all of the comments so far today, I like the "Bollywood" one best. Already picturing the dance scene at the beach. Happily, there are a lot of sarongs already at the The Shack, so at least the costuming is mostly taken care of.

Kimmi: Nope, not retired - October and November are insanely busy for me professionally. As far as the regression in style goes, if I didn't mangle the English language you'd assume I was an impostor, and somebody would SWAT me... end up being really, really awkward. Just like the last time.

HDK, FD45, RePhil et al: Yes it is long, yes it is connected to the other stories - it just developed this way. I set out to write a couple simple short stories and it grew into an anthology without letting me know what it was up to. Just grew together in an odd fractal pattern. And yeah, I added a glossary, I get a lot of questions on military terminology, so heading them off seemed wise.

Again, thanks for the feedback, every bit helps.

Todd172

many (most?) linked stories require that you reread the predecessor stories before reading the latest so the reader isn't completely lost. this one mastefuly reminded me who everyone was without openly telling me. very much of an "oh, yeah; that's who that is" vibe for the reader.

great job.

Your comments struck a note with me. I belong to a writers group here in TX. No, you haven't read anything I've written outside of technical publications. The group is always concerned that paragraphs remain short, readers find long paragraphs too hard. No prologue, readers won't read it. Seriously, if most readers are that limited, what are we writing for? 18 pages of well written stories should not be too scary, eh?

Since I have read and enjoyed your previous stories , I don't mind all the connections. Gave it 5. Hope you keep writing.

Love your writing, please keep it coming. You capture your characters so well and the loyalty they display to each other is what keeps me coming back to them Ava Ian and again despite the far fetched nature of your stories. Your ronin remind me of Vachss team of characters in the Burke series, amoral but with their own code of justice and more than happy to prey upon those who prey on the weak. I hold love to see how Max the Silent would react to Monster and vice versa

Very enjoyable story with excellent characters, plot and settings.

I agree with HDK that this series would work well on SOL as a Universe series.

Keep writting, even the "choppy" paragraphs are working well and add to the overall pace and feeling of the story.

Looking forward to your next submission.

This site has seen some major league talent come through here before , and Todd172 certainly continues this sites pedigree for sure.

All of the gnashing of teeth and wringing of hands over it being an offshoot of the Shack's symphony of characters , I've been here from the start , and people have literally begged the author to flesh out each character that has gotten their own storyline . I know , because I was one of the ones begging .

How dare this author actually care enough about the readers to actually do this , free of charge to boot ! I'm aghast !

I have long been a fan of the Military Techno Thrillers , and this is as good of a plot that I've read over the last 25 + years.

I was thrilled to be allowed to beta read this , as I was to read the final version .

Thank you for providing us this wonderful look into your fertile imagination !

5 's

P.S. FD45 I've read comments from you that seemed like reading 18 pages ! Just sayin

I would rate this very good story 4*, but I rate it 5*...why? Because the whole serie deserves it and even more if we look to the latest stories in LW. So thank you for your masterful serie about these characters.

your writing ability is really impressive by how you keep linking these stories together PLEASE DO NOT STOP!!! cannot wait for another of your stories.

love the end everyone gets a name

I wish the people who aren't reading this story because they don't want to take the time to read the others, would just give this one a shot, you REALLY don't need the others to "get" this one.

Unlike DQS, who would use a character from story "A" in story "B" even when there was no connection, here the connections are organic.

I can read stories and the authors get the nomenclatures and terms right. I like it even more when the authors can use them correctly and still keep the story moving. I super really liked it when you even got the caliber right on the M24A3. I'd love to see more along this story line. It shows you've done your homework and really put together a great story with out using eleventy billion words.

5 stars and a long distance metaphorical knuckle bump

Simply awesome. Well written

I would suggest if one is going to write a serialized set of stories, that you leave a road map where you clearly outline Number 1, Number 2, etc. so if the person is so inclined, they can not waste their time trying to hunt for number one.

If you see Todd172, you know you're in for a treat

I love blue eyes in the correct sockets.

...Again, brother.

Charlie Mike, if it includes more like this.

You write an amazing amount of meaning into so little words! For many...this would have taken chapters and chapters! If any will invest the time to read the earlier writings...over and over...this story will mean so much more.

I hope this isn't the end of this story line...you could make millions in my small mind.

Thanks for you amazing creativity and taking the time to put this into words.

Tedious to read. Not a fan of "prerequisite reading."

I am a fan of the 'Shack universe'.

I like the interconnected characters and storylines, so much like real life; nothing is in a vacuum, no one is an island, something happens which makes other things happen both there and in other places.

A five star story, as I've come to expect.

go back and read/re-read the other stories. A very enjoyable few hours. This one might the best. All of the 'characters' have much more depth as you have written about each of them. Especially 'Loud Howard'. Excellent story lines and characters. Wonderful detail. Just overall outstanding. Thanks for sharing, and please, don't stop here........

First let me Thank you for the introduction linking your other writing with this one. It was much appreciated. As for this story it was well written, good characters, and a great storyline. I couldn't ask for more if I was paying for the story. Even more and I can't recall exactly but I had a "laugh out loud" time when a part hit me good - thankfully I was home reading!

Overall excellent reading time. I look forward to your future work.

So please keep writing and I will keep reading!

Put them in a collection form and publish.

Obviously 5*

"Wearisome

Tedious to read. Not a fan of 'prerequisite reading.'"

Why is this comment not a surprise coming from someone too lazy to even have a user name.

This ... heck all of your writing is some of the best, most well-crafted literature I've had the pleasure to gobble my way through.

Just write more. A lot more. I love your crazy "broken" people, and the unorthodox way you create/recognize family.

I admire the way you can evoke so much in a brief sentence. The one that comes to mind is 'Monster's head swiveled like a gun turret' - I chuckled out loud.

I truly love the characters that you have created here, they have a life and definition all their own. Please keep writing about them; past, present, future - you truly have a gift and I feel blessed to be able to read this.

5/5 - and hopefully many more to come.

Todd172's first story is only four and a half months ago (posted 7/29/16). Read them all as they came out. They truly are so well written, with such memorable characters that the recall was almost automatic. If you have not read the Shack series, you owe it to yourself. Blue Topaz Eyes 1 & 2; Shameless; Monster; Pogo and Spooky; Pogo's Very Long Day; Gun Gun Teddy Bear {actually probably the oldest time period}; Behind Blue Eyes in order. sbrooks103x called the flow organic. Great description. Love your created world Todd. ---Hoppydoodle

Wonderful characters, solid storyline with enough tradecraft jargon to stay on point, and succinct dialogue. What's not to like?

I've read all of your Shack stories and most of your others. They have been among the most enjoyable stories that I've found here on Lit.

Keep up the good work and beware of the dreaded homonyms.

....good things about the "Shack" series! Bravo!

We (your fans) have been treated to fascinating, approachable, lovable characters and interesting plot lines. Many, many thanks for your fine work. You definitely have the storyteller's gift!

Here's hoping the creative juices keep flowing and we are privileged to read many more stories from your fertile imagination. Gonna go back now and hit each episode with 5*.

Somehow, I missed this story at publication time. What a treat! Superbly written, as always.

I've just spent the entire afternoon devouring "The Shack" and it's stories. You have some serious talent! Thank you for sharing it with us.

FBG

Loved the story, along with all the other "Shack" stories. Would like to recommend on your profile page to list them together under a tag line, i.e. "The Shack". Keep writing, you are one of the few author's I look for.

Would love to see a story from Danni's point of view. Or several more about spooky.

2nd story I've read of yours where Glocks are sneered at and 1911s are respected, if not coveted. Loved that. As in A LOT. Also appreciated you including the def of the Vityaz.

Really like to hear more Spooky tales, if you have the inclination.

I reread this because of the high score, which is indeed deserved. Loved the ending - Spooky calling her mom. Even though I haven't read the other stories since they were posted, I still remember the characters as their development was so well done. So I guess for the first time in many years I don't agree with HDK, although in fairness to HDK he did close his comment noting that his dislike of stories tied together was his problem not the author's. Excellent set of stories. The SOL universe idea is a good one, although you may have already done that.

The entire series was top-notch! Outstanding from start to finish!

This story was discovered by accident secondary to its listing for accolades. It was a page turner from the git go and I loved it. Anxious to read more.

This is supposed to be a site for SEX stories, not a site for budding novelists.

Todd172 has made Literotica a better site with his contributions. The Shack series is a hybrid of comic book adventure and (almost) believably flawed characters. I'm hooked, and "Behind Blue Eyes" is part of the reason. Thanks for your hard work, Todd!

I just finished Behind Blue Eyes. Wonderful story, ur characters were well defined and the story was well thought out and interesting to say the least. 1 of the best stories that I have read in a long time. Time allowing I will be reading more of your work. Thank you again..

I read the whole series in the order suggested, pretty good stuff.

Of participating stories in the Best Of LW contest

You might want to look up "budding" in your Funk&Wagnall's; I don't think it means what you think it means.

1911s in these stories and the not so much liking for Glocks. I know a lot of people don't know what a 1911 is. I have heard it described as like a Glock, but for men. Good story, multiple reads.

pappy

To most recent anonymous toad. Plenty of garbage to help you jack off. Sad you can't get any. It's a small percentage, but there's some excellent shit here that will never get published. It's why I come by. This ranks among the best. Real monsters. Real people. Not just another of the 20,000 ex SEALS that seem to be about.

Tip of my hat to the author. You done good.

I've read most of these on first posting... I'd say that entering the stor(ies) line at this one is not bad... you need to know that you are in for a hyper military milieu, but that becomes clear very soon... you will meet characters that you wish to know more about, and the other stories can do that.

I'd say that the author was too humble in his judgement that the other stories should be read first (I think this one works fine as a stand alone), but I'm not sure exactly I know where he is going... perhaps there is more stuff in the wood work that I'm not seeing, which would be clearer if you did it in sequence. Whatever.

The rankings mean that people liked it. While I disagree many times with people at large, in this case I'm with the majority.

So! Don't be silly or worried about the commitment - read it already!

Green-something

The author has a very fine sense of humor.

I mean, who kidnapped whom?

Green-something

No one on civvy street knows who "Jody" is. Thank you for the stories, and for serving.

The worst.

Excellent story, delivered with humour. Besides the plot being one of the best, it's very well constructed - absolutely hilarious, at times. Really enjoyed the, " Shack ", series. Thank you.

Excellent story telling. Great characters throughout.

Without the context of prior stories everything has an incomplete meaning...but enough to take guesses. Some didn't connect at all, since doing so probably would have been terribly redundant in context.

I normally will read any length story in a single sitting, from 3 to 50 pages, and I had to take some time off from boredom in this one. The focus of this is definitely some operation rather than relationship development, and that's one reason I was unsatisfied. Some parts, mostly the arduous detail of what was being discussed, just pushed the limit. I would have had better expectation management if this wasn't in a sex/relationship focused category. Some felt irrelevant, probably because I didn't read the back story.

Still, I appreciate it a lot for what it isn't. It didn't feel like a copy or derivative of any other story I've read.

One cannot start with this story and make sense of it without knowing the characters. It is like reading the final chapter of a novel first.

I believe if all of “The Shack” chapters are read in chronological order the entire story arch will be much more satisfying—and worth the time.

Thanks, Todd172!

Discrete means (more or less) individually identifiable things.

Discreet means ‘able to keep a secret.’

Rain is water from the sky.

Reign is what kings and emperors do.

Rein is a (usually) leather steering-wheel for a horse,

and ‘rein in’ means ‘to keep someone in control.

There’s another (kinda) Malaprop spelling, but I’ll report

on that the next reading.

5*. De-spit cahrlis sepeling.

and enjoyed as much or more than the first time. 5*. Cant wait for you to write more of anything, or almost, just not that nonsense chain story(napalm...).

Thank you.

Not “laagar”.

I know. I’m a Boer.

Get there before 1230, though - that's when the grill gets turned off and you're relegated to cold sandwiches.

Means 30 minutes after noon.

1230. Just after noon. Moonshine ia a real place and they only serve breakfast and lunch. Monday through Saturday.

Todd172

Story gets better each time I read it. I also wish that Tod172 would write a few more like this. I don't mind rereading his work, but new ones would be great.

Just fantastic storytelling, can't get enough, love your writing style.....The shack stories would have made an International best seller novel.

just a loosely used descriptive at best.

Hard to create a gem from choppy sentences, lack of paragraph continuity and flawed word usage.

Where’s the dramatic tension? We have a villain that never speaks or acts. Villainy should at least be rewarded with its own voice.

Former Special Forces, Special Operations, and a few SAPs here. You were mostly right on the money about SMU work. You took only a few artistic licenses. Recruitment and membership, mostly.

Very inventive plot. Sophisticated, elegant, and put together. I don't know if anyone would not have pulled the trigger on a tango, but I went with the flow.

This is the first of your stories I've ventured into... keep up the good work!

Whoever is doing your editing is doing a good job, perhaps it's you. In that case, excellent!

I enjoyed the planning and detail. Couldn't stop reading.

Spooky is human and has a mom!?!

Who knew 😎

I love your stories, even though they cost me sleep... :)

Please keep on keeping on.

I thought 'Laager'.

Well written!

Grammaticus

I think the best and only true cap to the Shack stories. Everybody back to take a walk-on bow.

I see you, Nkosi

Really some of the best reading I have done since 1956 when I started reading

seriously...Lot of big names-Heinlein, Patterson, Fleming, MacDonald, Creighton, Thor, Cussler, Berry, Burroughs, Clark....Hate to hear this is an ender.

fortunately I have prior submissions to catch up on as this pick was random.

Thank You

...but i´ll omit capitals, ok?

-fairly riveting, but odd murrican english occasionally...

-hanger/hangar switcheroo...we pilots use hangar

-disreputable female paparazzi? paparazzi is a plural. one female, paparazza. one

male, paparazzo.

-we staged our counsel of war. a counsel is a person. an advisory group is a council

-"Alpha this is Control. Go ahead. Over." Again, pilots talk continually to air traffic

control and to other aircraft. your radio terminology is perhaps from 50´s hollywood

films. we never hear this comical stuff on the air. besides, ´go ahead. over´ is a

redundancy, don´t you think?

interesting plot, though. thanks

The Shack best series on this site.... story line is well thought out

Great Job

Heck yeah.

This is the second (or third) time I am reading The Shack series and I want to thank you for this wonderful series. It is the Best set of stories on this site. The only problem that I have with this series....is that the stories end. Again Thank You for a fantastic series of stories and some Wonderful characters....and I do mean characters.

Ive got whats commonly known as a genius level iq... And i'm able to do a lot of things... Im a writer... Ive got most of a novel laying around... I wrote it just to prove to myself that i could... Im an artist... Charcoal is my fav medium... I can fix cars... Frame a house... Wire a house... Pumbing... Repair and build computers... Farm... Coach basmetball... And as a basketball player i was absolutely unguardable... Many other talents and abilities...

But smart person that i am... I know my limitations... I paint well... But im no da vinci... Can frame a house but im no frank loydd wright... And i write well but im no you... Some people are just born to do a certain thing... Im 70 and people still stop me and ask me if im still playing basketball... Lmao... When you're150 people will still be stopping you and asking you if you're still writing... Its what you are...

This little universe you've created is something amazing... And those that are too lazy to spend the time to get the full experience of being immersed in it... Well... Their loss... And by the way... They're using lazy as if it was some badge of honor... Ftr... It's not...

Again... Just an amazing universe full of characters... Oh yeah... I notice you've gathered just a smidgen of jealousy from some of the sites' so called heavy hitters...

-jaye-

I have read 4 or 5 of your stories just wondering which was the first? I have enjoy them so far almost like Tom Clancy shorter. James

The series. Trying to name a favorite shack story , is like rating a favorite child. I do believe this is the, best of the best though. To me the connection between Howard and Evie was the strongest of all the other story’s. I guess months traveling in a cramped R. V. would do that. I also liked all the characters being involved , at some level. I love entertainment, and you bring it ever time you hit a key stroke. Thanks to you and the misses for hours of free entertainment.

Not a traditional LW story. Something between Romance and Intrigue. Very good writing...

When the movie comes out or tell them to call it " Tales From the Shack ". 25 Stars in all. Wow!

I am a fan of all your writings, and especially the Shack series. This story is among the best, in character development, humor, and coordination of all the other stories that came before it. There is a real, inhabited world here, and I revisit it frequently.

You deserve to know that the quality of research that went into this story is rubbing off on at least this reader, and not just as to weapons and tactics. The brief history lesson about the Indian population in Fiji is something I had never known, but that little tidbit of knowledge helped me with a trivia contest recently. So ... thanks for that, and keep writing!

how do I find Todd's professional writing

I'm a big Shack fan, I've read and re-read

them all, this, to me, is one of the best.

I fervently hope that more Shack related

stories will be posted, one day.