All Comments on 'Bernadette'

Your paragraphs are too long which makes the story difficult to read. Make them shorter even if you go against grammar rules. Believe me it works.

The comment from anonymous takes the prize for illiteracy, ignorance, intolerance and racism.

The story is good but a couple of observations:

The chances of Charlie's cock physically invading the heroine's womb is just not possible. The cervix just won't allow it. Except while giving birth the cervix is a tight little ring that wouldn't even admit your little finger.

And there wouldn't be any sperm, as such, dripping on her tits. The proper word is semen and sperm makes up just a very small fraction of it..

A lot of writers make these errors. It sounds good--big black dicks pushing right into the womb and big balls delivering gallons of sperm but it's a myth.

It is sperm however that contributes those little baby-making tadpoles that swim upstream into the womb and knock you ladies up..

Chloe, I hope you don't mind the corrections. I did enjoy the story and gave it 5 fucking stars.

Keep writing!!!!

This is a superb story. I'm a professional writer -- and that story is a cracker (no joke).

By the way, please ignore the troll(s)

There's no doubt this story goes in the top 1% of those written here. The grammar is perfect and the story flows well, it's also got a very original structure with a timeline that leaps around, this works perfectly for this story.

There are not enough stories here written from the female perspective. There is far more inter-racial sex and marital cheating going on than some commenters here seem willing to accept. No doubt they're in denial because it's their wives doing the cheating. (If they actually have wives).

I'd like to see a sequel where Bernadette succumbs to Ray's charms, then maybe goes off the pill + has risky sex with Charlie again, this time with her husband there to watch + assist where necessary.

well-written, well-paced and very erotic story. Very well done indeed;)

Way to long and the subject matter wasn't very good. try again,maybe

Excellent, literate, entertaining -- very well done!

Good job, as usual. Glad to see that you're writing again.

I'd love to see more of these 2. They're really hot together. Well-done. Bring us more and maybe have them do it when bill is in the house, have them meet at the office on a weekend and do it on his desk, maybe even get some emotions involved. But after he gets the CEO position he can make Bill make an arrangement. She could act like 'how could this happen?' but be so happy with the situation!

Great writing. Easy fluid style. Thoroughly enjoyed being in your mind

The piece was just excellent and contained all the erotic elements necessary to engage the reader. One of the best articles in a long time. We will await more installments in this series. Thanks!

Perfect mix. Sweetie has a clear and varied erotic history, but only premarital. She's not a HotWife or swinger. There is seduction, initiated by Bull, but we find that she was impressed from first (innocent) touch of hands. The change of venue, from convention hotel to the couple's house, is smooth and plausible! Lots of confidence on Bull's side, neither resistance nor overt flirting on Sweetie's part!

Interracial aspect (especially as her 'first') was ALMOST incidental. Resorting to the massive equipment stereotype is somewhat regrettable but probably de rigeur! The story would have worked almost as well with a young Whitey Executive (not direct boss) with somewhat-larger-than-Hubby genitals.

Thanks for the read.

5*

Didn't catch the issue addressed by WSmythe, but concur (and expand) on his anatomy quibble. Try to find a 3-D representation of the vagina, cervix and uterus! In addition to the size of the cervical opening, there is the matter of the orientation or transition from vagina to uterus. The uterus is above the vagina - i.e. at a significant angle. An erect (or even semi-erect) pecker won't bend at that angle. Maybe if the pecker were flaccid (and the cervix were dilated, such as 'in labor'), it probably STILL wouldn't 'go there!' (The previous sentence is intended to depict an totally ludicrous scenario!)

Two things are clear, Chloe: (1) you know how to give a blowjob; and (2) you know how to tell a story.

While all men fantasize themselves in the role of Charlie in this story, I can speak from some experience that being "the Bill" is very rewarding in its own way. Life is all about making your partner happy, because that comes back to you in big ways.

Thanks!

Good. None of the "little white wife losing her mind and her shit over big black cock" mythology.

Good story

This is the best story I've read in over a month. It has none of the elements (maybe the part about Ray the exec using the wives of the men working for him was a stretch) that make a story unreadable and most of what makes a story a joy. I found myself pausing several times and thinking this is so good. There was second guessing, slight and not so slight expressions of interest, lust and a little bit of cruelty toward Bill. Finally there was oral, fucking and making love. All in all a 5 star only because I can't give it 6.

PRETTY GOOD

Are we in the habit of mixing characters names here there “….Bill went to wash up. Then we waited for Bill” doesn’t make any sense since Charlie was with her. This mixup happened a couple of times. Otherwise a well-crafted story. I loved the descriptions. Details are important and taking time to describe makes it much better telling it. Nicely done!