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Click hereHe recognized the approaching guards as members of Kano's personal guard. He groaned inwardly, Kano would be expecting a report sooner rather than later. "All right, on your feet, we have a bit of a hike to do." Loro told his tired men as he stood up. They began to retrieve their weapons as the guards got closer. Loro sighed again, he was seriously not looking forward to this report.
- COMMENTS
Winzip042109about 9 years agoGood Job ! Well written, compelling and not to wordy.
As you said, it is not perfect.
Despite the few grammar issues etc., it was fun to read.
As others have said " don't let the grammar police get you down".
Keep writing !!
Thank You,
Wz
Anonymousabout 9 years agoIts a great start to a story with potential. Please do not let some asshat with grammar issues discurage you. Guess what i misspell have grammer mistakes and still have people from 3 states come to me for hip and knee replacement.
ariesgirlabout 9 years agoGood start.
You did warn us that there would be mistakes in this chapter. There were a few but not enough to take away from the story.
