Best Laid Plans of Dragons and Men

"Waaaait!" cried the drake as she shook his head. "Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! Calm down please! This was an accident! Just let me explain!"

--

Mason gasped as the woman (but she wasn't really a woman, she was a dragon) finally stopped shaking his head. She didn't let go of her firm grim on his horns, and his snout was pointed right at her exposed chest—in another situation he might have found this erotic, but now it was just terrifying. Though Mason had never ever imagined such a scenario, he now realized that it was entirely possible for one very angry, very determined, but completely naked woman to successfully intimidate and terrify a dragon, if that dragon was him.

"You had better have a very good explanation," snarled the angry, determined, naked woman.

"It was an honest mistake! I genuinely didn't intend for this to happen! You...you were a dragon, right? The dragon that I saw flying earlier?"

The woman pulled his horns painfully and leaned closer so she could glare at him eye to eye. "Yes, I was. I was a dragon, I am a dragon, and I will be turned back into a dragon. Are we clear on that?"

"Yes! Crystal clear!"

"Excellent. Now explain to me how and why you turned me into this disgusting human form. And while you're at it, explain why you completely ignored me earlier. I have never been treated so rudely in my life."

"I wasn't trying to ignore you! Ok, actually I was, but that was just because I didn't know what to do! I was just trying to fly to Akosta and back as quickly as possible." Mason swallowed nervously. "Could...could you please let go of my horns? You're hurting my skull!"

In response, the woman just tightened her grip and pulled his horns a bit more. Mason hadn't seen anyone so angry in a long time. "I said explain! EXPLAIN! This is the work of some human magician, isn't it? What sort of dragon are you, working with the humans to sell out one of you own race to them? Have you no honour?"

"I'm not any sort of dragon, and I'm not working with humans! I am a human! My name is Mason Tolovius; I'm a sorcerer! I summoned a demon and had it create a transformation crystal which could turn me into a dragon and back! It was only supposed to affect me, but I think the crystal must have worked on you instead. I'm really sorry about this!"

--

Izagor was so surprised by this explanation that she forgot to be angry. She released the drake's horns and took a few steps back. "You're...not a dragon? You're a human? But you look so..." She had been about to say "good", but Izagor decided she wasn't going to say anything which might remotely sound like a compliment. "Why would you do something like this?"

The drake, this 'Mason Tolovius', looked uneasy under her intense gaze. "I had a plan and a good reason for transforming myself into a dragon. The plan was to fly to Akosta carrying this harness full of, uh, stuff." Izagor got the feeling he had been about to say something else, but she didn't press for further details. "Then I would fly back and change myself back into a human, except that I'm guessing you touched my crystal first so it changed you into a human. That's where my plan went wrong, and how we both ended up with the wrong bodies."

Izagor nodded slowly. Mason's explanation made sense—he was just some idiot human sorcerer who had tried to change himself into a dragon for some stupid human reason, and now she had gotten caught up in his idiocy. "So turn us back. Make the crystal work again and undo this."

"I would if I could, but that's just not possible—whoa, whoa, whoa, calm down!" Mason hurriedly backed away when Izagor bared her teeth and advanced on him. "The crystal only works twice—one transformation from human to dragon, and one transformation from dragon to human. After that it's just a worthless lump of mineral."

"Then just make a new crystal! Summon that demon again and fix this!" Izagor demanded.

"Summoning isn't simple! I would need to draw up a new circle to summon the demon again and...and I would need to rewrite the contract again from my master copy, which is...uh...it's not here."

"Where?" Izagor hissed.

"I left it at home..."

"Where?!" Izagor thundered.

Mason hurriedly pointed a forepaw towards the south. "I don't live so close to the Akostan border; I live further into the empire, closer to the ocean. I'll need to go to the nearby town and take one of the trains headed south. The journey will take about half a day, so if you could just wait here for a few days I'll be right back—"

Izagor laughed at this incredulous suggestion. "Hahahaha, no. You think I'm letting you out of my sight? What guarantee do I have that I'll ever see you again?"

"I give you my full assurance that I will be back! But if you insist, I suppose you could come along with me and we do the summoning back at my house. I'll even pay for a ticket on the express train so that we can ride quickly and take the overnight express...um..." Mason's voice trailed off as he realized that this plan wouldn't work. "No, wait. I'm a dragon—they'll never let me on board. So if I can't ride the train, what are we to do? I suppose I could always walk all the way, but that might take quite a bit longer..."

Izagor wanted to slap Mason's side with her tail, but she didn't have a tail anymore, so she settled for shaking her head. "Walking? As a dragon?"

Mason didn't get it. His tail was swishing from side to side as he tried to come up with a better idea. "How else would I get home? Perhaps I might be able to find a horse carriage driver who could be persuaded to allow me to ride in his carriage for enough coin..."

"Or...you could just fly?" Izagor suggested.

Mason's tail went still. "Oh. Yes, I could do that. Right! That sounds like a better plan. I'll just fly us back to my house, and then I'll summon Kurzadakathan again, and then we'll get a new crystal which turns us back to our normal forms. Yes, I like that plan. Is this acceptable to you?"

Izagor could see no better alternative, so she agreed. "I don't think we have a choice, so let's do it. We can't be stuck like this forever. Since I can't fly, I guess I have to climb onto your back?"

"Yes, but let me just..." Mason trotted over to the table and put his harness back on—it was just a simple series of leather belts which went around his neck and his forelimbs, carefully avoiding his wings but allowing him to carry a pouch on his chest without using his paws. "I had this harness made to carry my goods. You can use it to hold on when you're sitting on my back." Izagor approached and reached out her hands, but Mason looked uncomfortable. He lowered his gaze so he was only looking at her feet. "Could you...clothe yourself? This is indecent."

"What?"

The drake turned towards the table and pointed at the set of clothes there. He seemed to be making a deliberate effort to ensure sure he did not look at her, just as he had ignored her earlier while they were both dragons and in flight. "You need to wear clothes. Humans wear clothes."

Izagor had long known that humans wore cloth or fabric garments to cover themselves, but she had never understood the reason for this. "What's the point?" She glanced down at her own body, taking in the sight of her chest, torso, and lanky legs. "Do you find me ugly? Is this body unpleasant by human standards?"

Mason was obviously very embarrassed. His eyes flicked up as he looked over her whole body, then he hurriedly dropped his gaze to only stare at her feet again. "No, it's not unpleasant to look at; quite the opposite, which is why you need to wear these clothes. It's just how things are! There are certain...parts of anatomy which should only be exposed in private situations, not in public. Please just put on those clothes. Those are supposed to be my clothes, but I think they should fit you alright. At least it's better than wandering around naked. I'll give you some privacy." He turned away and sat down with his back facing towards her.

Izagor still thought this didn't make much sense, but presumably Mason knew more about acting human than she did. "Very well, if you insist..." She took the clothing from the table and tried to figure out how it all worked. The most obvious piece of equipment was a pair of thick leather things made in an L-shape; clearly these were shaped to go over her feet, so she put these on first.

Without looking at her, Mason spoke again. "So what's your name? I already told you my name is Mason Tolovius, but you never introduced yourself."

"Izagor."

"Just Izagor? No surname?"

"What's a surname?" Izagor looked over all the rest of the clothing—why were there were so many different pieces?

"Never mind, I'll just call you Izagor then. Or is Izzy alright?"

"Don't call me Izzy. My friends call me Izzy." Now that the smaller pieces of clothing were settled, Izagor moved on to the larger things. There was a big T-shaped garment which was probably meant to go over her upper body, so she pulled that on. It took some trial and error for her to figure out how the buttons worked, but she soon got the hang of it. Even though her body was now all wrong, her human hands were much more dexterous than her paws had even been.

"Izagor, then." Mason was quiet for a while before he spoke again. "Are you done yet? It's been a few minutes."

Izagor was busy pulling a second T-shaped garment over her first one, except this second garment was white and had no buttons down the front. Instead it was just one large piece which made it more confusing to equip. Her head kept going into the wrong hole. "No, I'm not done. Don't you rush me, human! It's your fault we're in this mess in the first place."

"Sorry. Although...you were the one who touched my crystal, so this is partially your fault too."

"Oh, sure! I'm sorry for being curious! How was I to know that a human sorcerer was just going to leave a demonic artefact lying around unattended, or that it would turn me into this thing? I'm hideous now." Izagor was trying to put on one more piece of clothing—an inverted-U shaped loop of thick fabric which was probably supposed to go over her legs. The leather things over her feet made this difficult, but eventually she managed to push her feet through after some stretching and tugging on the fabric.

Mason was still looking away from her, but the tip of his tail twitched. "You're not hideous. It's kind of strange how pretty you are, actually. I would have expected the crystal to make you look more...draconic."

"Why? You look exactly like a normal dragon." Izagor picked up a pair of stretchy, white-coloured, one-ended tubes. Did these go over her head? But they came in pair, so they were probably meant to go over her limbs. She pulled one over each hand. She was mostly done now, although she realized there was one last piece of square clothing made from grey fabric. It had with two holes on one side and one hole on one side. "I'm mostly done now. I think. Where's this supposed to go?"

Mason turned around to look at her, and what he saw made his eyes go wide. His jaw dropped open.

Human or dragon, Izagor knew how to interpret this universal expression of shock. "Did I do something wrong?"

Mason hardly even knew where to begin. "Uh...you...uhh...that's... First off—why are you wearing my socks over your hands?"

"You mean these white fabric things? I don't know. Where else do they go?" Izagor pulled the socks of her hands.

"You're supposed to wear them over your feet."

"Ok, so they're feet covers? Do they go under or over the leather feet covers?"

"Under. The leather feet covers are called boots, and the fabric things are called socks."

Izagor sat down on the ground and pulled off the boots. She slid the socks over her feet, then she put the boots back on. "Like this?"

"You're wearing the socks backwards, but I guess it doesn't matter. You're supposed to tighten the bootlaces and tie them up. Just try to pull on the laces to make them more comfortable."

Izagor did as he asked, but this made things more uncomfortable. "No, now it's crushing my hindpaws! I don't like them like that." She pulled on the boots until they were nice and loose, just like before, then she tucked the laces into the boots so they weren't dangling out.

Mason sighed. He gestured at the rest of her. "You're wearing my undershirt backwards, and over my shirt."

Izagor tugged off the undershirt, but she stopped before taking of the shirt. It had taken her a few minutes to do up all the buttons, especially because she had gotten them misaligned at first. She didn't want to go through all that effort again. "Why does a human need two pieces of clothing covering their upper half anyway?"

"That's just how things are."

"Well that's dumb. I don't need two layers of fabric over my top. One is enough." Izagor dropped the undershirt onto the table, and Mason decided it wasn't worth the effort to persuade her to wear it. Hopefully they wouldn't need to speak or interact with anyone else on the journey home, because wearing just one shirt left the outlines of her chest rather...visible.

Picking up the last piece of square clothing, Izagor waved it at Mason. "So what's this thing? You haven't explained where it's supposed to go."

"That is underwear. You're supposed to wear it over your legs, but under the pants."

"What, you mean like here? Is it supposed to cover my genital slit?" Izagor pulled down her pants, suddenly exposing her crotch. Mason hurriedly averted his eyes out of instinct, even though it was quite obvious that Izagor had no shame. Out of the corner of his eyes, he could see her using a hand to poke at her own anatomy. "Hey, how come there's fur down here? I thought humans were hairless except for their heads?" she asked.

"No, that's not true—we have hair in other places too, like under our armpits. Now please pull your pants back up."

Thankfully Izagor complied, pulling her pants back up and carefully doing up the button. She then reached a hand through the collar of the shirt, and started feeling around her armpits. "Huh...you're right—there's hair under here too. Weird. What's up with that?" She pulled her hand out and sniffed her fingers.

Mason was very grateful that dragons could not blush, or he would have turned completely red by this point. "I don't know. Now get on my back and let's go." He lowered himself to his belly, and Izagor climbed over his shoulders so that she was sitting on his back, with her legs around his neck. "I hope I can do this. I don't actually know if I'm strong enough to carry you," he admitted.

"What? Sure you are. I've hunted and carried prey animals which were far bigger than a human," Izagor replied. "Come on, let's go! The sooner we get to your home, the sooner we can turn back to normal. Up, Mason! Fly!"

Mason spread his wings wide, and then he leapt into the sky. They flew together—the dragon who was actually a human, and the human who was actually a dragon.

--

Izagor felt her breath catch as Mason leapt into the air. She had been flying all her life, yet it was different now that she was in this new body which could not fly. Instead of clutching her hands around the leather harness, she raised her arms so she could feel the air rushing by and pretend she still had wings.

"Yah!" Instinctively she called out, but her human body could only make an exhilarated yell which did not sound as majestic as a roar. She felt a natural desire to jump off Mason's shoulders and spread her own wings, but that would only result in injury or death—for now, she had to be satisfied with relying on this drake who wasn't a drake to carry her in the skies.

It didn't take long for Izagor to start criticising Mason's flying. "Hey! How come you're climbing at best angle of climb? Why not use best rate of climb?"

"What? I have no idea what you just said," he replied.

"You're going too slow. Since you've already passed the trees, just speed up. The way you're flying now is good for gaining as much altitude as possible over distance, but not for gaining as much altitude as possible over time."

"I...uh...ok..." Mason wasn't sure what Izagor was talking about, but he did as she asked. Doubtless she knew more about flying than he did. Turning until the sun was to his right side, he flew south towards the ocean.

Izagor would occasionally give advice or tips on how to fly more efficiently, such as by recognizing thermals so he could climb without beating his wings. She almost never sounded impatient or even frustrated—instead, it sounded like she just enjoyed flying so much that she couldn't help but share her knowledge and skill. Mason found himself entering a state of relaxed calm, listening to her words and learning how to use his wings properly.

It was nice to have someone to talk to as they spent the afternoon flying through the air, covering great distance as they headed deeper into the Marlander Empire. Towns and villages were interspersed in the forest down below; the buildings and people looked like toys from so high above. As he flew, Mason stayed on course by matching his flight path with the train tracks far below, retracing the course he had taken to come out here to the border of the empire.

After some time, Izagor could feel her skin becoming tight and prickly in the cool high altitude air despite the warmth of summer. It felt like human skin hardly provided any insulation compared to dragon scales, so perhaps it would have been a better idea if she had worn that undershirt after all. Without this possibility, she bent lower so her chest was pressed up against Mason's neck, allowing her some protection from the cold oncoming air.

Their conversation continued as they kept flying—instead of just talking about flight, Izagor started asking about the places they were flying over. Travel had always been one of her favourite activities, although she was more interested in beautiful scenery and spectacular vistas rather than human construction and architecture.

Mason was happy to share what he knew. Whatever questions she had, he would answer to the best of his knowledge. He told Izagor about the Marlander Empire and its tyrannical emperor, he talked about the cities and diplomacy, and then things started to turn more personal. He started telling her about his job and what he did as a sorcerer, and about his own life.

Izagor didn't approve of treating with demons, especially after what had just happened to them both, but she had to admit being fascinated by all that Mason could tell her. He talked about the academies of magic and learning where he had studied ancient texts and learned from wizened old wizards. He gave her stories of all the things he did on a normal day, creating demonic contracts and assisting other sorcerers with their own contracts.

Without even realizing what he was doing, Mason accidentally let slip the reason why he'd gone to all this trouble in the first place—that he had begun to dabble with smuggling things across the border. He swallowed nervously as he realized he didn't have a plan; he had just been talking because, to his surprise, he enjoyed conversing with Izagor.

Yet she didn't seem upset or even surprised by his less-than-legal activities. She seemed to find it amusing that he had created something as serious as a demonic contract just to carry a pouch of valuables over an arbitrary line which marked the limits between two governments. She laughed and smiled for these were all just the silly, mundane affairs of everyday humans—things which dragons cared little for as they flew above all.

Izagor was having far more fun than she would admit to anyone, even to herself. Mason was a strange conundrum—he looked like a drake, but his mind and beliefs were that of a human. And yet despite the fact their races stayed so separate, the things he said resounded in her as she realized they had more in common than she would ever have imagined. How strange that this human sorcerer might be so easy to speak with.