All Comments on 'Best Served Cold'

I enjoyed your story. It struck a chord with me, about bullies. How you can have an image of a person, and the person is nowhere like they are in your mind when you finally meet them. Again thank you.

Bainsidhe

I really, really enjoyed it. Wish it could have happened to me.

Good (unfinished)Story! But needs and ending!

Good story but I think it needs a second chapter to flesh out the scene.

...and please, no second chapter; it's perfect as it is.

i'll do the imagining of the possibilities myself.

Would have liked treating the bully theme more fully. Been on both sides. Resented both.

This story was very good, and it is complete! The purpose of a short story is not to tell you every facet of a situation. It is a picture, a quick glimpse into a life. This was that, and it was very well done!

An uncommon piece of fiction. Damn good! Delightful writing. (Didn't see that ending coming!)

Thank you

Definitely not what I had expected...Well done.

Personally I think that people are letting their prejudices get in the way of their ability to feel the quality of your stories. I agree wholeheartedly with the evaluation the excellent writers, HDK, Angie and Gary! By the way, the latter two have not posted recently. Are you publishing somewhere else?

Everything good except for the last line. if you were the faithful, loving, beautiful, intelligent wife how would you feel if your impending relationship were relegated to payback.

I think she would be enraged and saddened, it cheapens the attraction between the two of them - just my opinion and offered in the spirit that you requested all feedback.

Other than that small critique I liked the story and admired your writing

I liked it, very well written. I am puzzled by the offer for the two to get to know each other for a couple of years and if she would rather leave him for someone else, so be it. It suggests he doesn't like his own wife very much. What's with that?

It could be a challenge to her, do you really, really love me? Are you with me for the long haul, cause here's your chance to get out.

or

If he has come to hate her, her going on at length about her conference romance may be her way of bullying him. "You have no idea how I was tempted, but I resisted...for you. He runs each morning! He wanted to fuck me!" All stuff he could not do.

His offer could be a trap set by the husband to get rid of two people he feels are contemptible with one stone.

You're the author, you get to decide

Chilley

You picked the perfect spot to complete your story. Anything else would be repartisious.

Mendon

Nice topic on bullying and the cost. Loved the sweet revenge angle. Perfect ending leave it to the reader to decide.

Well done. I'll say it again excellently done (if that is a real word).

Thanks for posting appreciated your work

A penitent bully, a payback by fate, and an offer not to be believed. Good!

Stephen, though, is not a particularly nice guy. He sets out to seduce a married woman even before he knows she is his nemesis' wife.

Nevertheless, a good and complete story. Ended just where it should have. Thanks. Paul

Totally brilliant! The twist at the end just changed everything. In his place, I wouldn't have touched her.

The confusing style and bare plot was a wash.

...but I want in!-great job author, thanks...

Enjoy your style of writing and have liked all your stories but I found this one to be the best with a twist. Thanks for writing and sharing.

Different and very enjoyable keep them coming (Thank For A Good Read)

Good job different angle but I loved it good read thanks

Bw,

Kinda reminds me of what we have all experienced in some way or another. At a High School reunion, shocked classmates saw the changes that 30 years of life brought to each of us.

For the class' biggest Nemesis to be sickly and suffering from a stroke, was scary. He'd married a beautiful girl from our class of 1970.

No one has the confidence of youth, cept the highly trained, successful few and yet no man danced with her or kicked him, now that he is down.

He being the most feared bully now has her help lift him just to stand.

Sadly not humble enough still, not to struggle and to stand, as we remembered those who died young & honor the Vets living and dead who'd honored their family, serving us, our community, their Country.

One classmate seemingly still unknown, paid the bar tab. Made it an open bar for all till we sat for dinner. I'd chuckled seeing he insisted that the bartender include his wait staff, finally smile and agreed to do it... after the second Franklin, each.

Thanks Bw, great writing and a tale well told.

and Thanks for sharing on Lit.

x

Loved the story. Really well written!

Let me start off by saying I very much enjoyed reading this story. I loved the various descriptions of Ann, particularly her sartorial genius. Further, the twist at the end was clever and dramatic. A couple of peck a dildos though. The set up was too long and a bit too obvious. I think the setting of the conference contributed to this as both the reader and the protagonist were distracted with all the details of the conference. A simpler venue would have been better, in my opinion. This further lead to the budding relationship between Ann and Stephen feeling contrived. There was too much warmth, and yet no feeling of any real passion...like sipping a cup of tea that has been setting on a table too long. (I felt I needed an appropriate British anal ogy here). Nonetheless, this was a wonderful story, with great irony and an overall pleasant aftertaste. Thank you Badwolf for sharing your storytelling talents with me and all the readers on Literotica..

The ending was painfully elegant.

Took all the fun out of revenge. Still - your story was fun to read and a great story.

to fulfill the old military axiom, "He, who controls the high ground, wins!" What is it that you, as author, and your characters, Ann and David, and Stephen (the sexual predator, as YOU have written him, who makes up for his bullied youth by his control of groups and his sexual seduction of women, especially married women) don't understand about those simple words, "...in sickness and in health... 'til death us do part!" There are several options for the ending to your story that can bring it much closer to reality than fantasy.

I really enjoyed this story. I don't know why, but I had various ideas of where you were going with this story, but that the husband was disabled wasn't one of them. But it was a very good plot and I'd love to see you continue it to the point of Stephen and Ann getting together. Hope that happens.

I hope that you leave it alone and do not carry it forward. Maybe I would feel differently if Stephen didn't come off as being a bit of a shithead.

You have a habit of foretelling the story as you go along. Little teasers such as; it would change things forever, he didn't know how much this would change his world, etc.

These interrupt the story flow and seem an insult to the reader. Let the action tell what happens, when it happens, not before.

Therefore, after the first page, I stopped reading and rated it 1*.

Different kind of revenge. It's not the same if your tormentor is not on a even keel as before so the payback loses some of its luster. However he does get the girl so it works out. Not a great story but tolerable.

Well told. Interesting and a turn about on many bully stories.

because I totally deserved it for underestimating his skill at sidestepping the cliched ending and adding a thoughtful, deft and humanistic twist. Well done ( you bastard ).

I felt we were missing something vital there and when he was seated at the table I knew - not sure why but I knew and you made it work perfectly -

You have to love serendipity - but you also have use care in revenge scenarios - it can bite you in the ass - if he is in love and she can stay in love with the bully ah - he gets screwed again lol

It's educators.

Cambridge Dictionary Online

educationalist

noun [C]

a person who has a special knowledge of the principles and methods of teaching

Having said that, when I read your comment I thought you were right ;-)

I haven't even read the story yet, but I saw you got comments from Angiesophie, Stang, and JPB, not to mention a couple other luminaries. Is this some sort of internal fraternity? My feelings are hurt. lol

I meant Hard Days Night not Just Plain Bob

As a reader, I was blindsided as much as the main character in your story. This revenge isn't much nor is his mind focused on the reality of his concept of his former Nemesis. People change, views change and circumstances arise. This author has captured humanity with its pants down. There are so many emotions in this story you need an accountant to inventory them. This story ending is almost anticlimactic. Wow! Thanks for the interesting and thoughtful ride.

... I've never much cared for stories written from the "other man's" perspective and this one was certainly no different.

Read, reread, pondered, Nope, can't say I cared for this much.

The twist at the end, while a surprise, ruined the built up lead in you provided.

First, a couple of nitpicks:

First, I don’t know if it was supposed to be a deliberate attempt at humor by the speaker, but the proper term is ”educators”, NOT “educationalists"!

Second, he “was about to enter the room when she hurried in through one of the other doors. Stephen held the door open.” If she hurried in through ANOTHER door, how did he hold the door for her?

As to the story, I'm kind of torn: Part of me wishes that David was still an asshole and that Stephen could get some portion of revenge by stealing Ann from him. Another part says that his maturity, regret and desire for his wife's happiness argue AGAINST Stephen's involvement with Ann, who CLEARLY loves David And still ANOTHER part says that he DOES owe it to Stephen.

In the end, I guess I go with David, let Ann and Stephen see each other and "see what happens". Maybe they will just be friends with some shared interests, maybe they will become Friends With Benefits, maybe Ann will decide to leave David for Stephen, who knows?

Oops, I hadn't read the other comments before I posted mine.

Actually, the option to read them didn't come up till I posted mine, now that I think about it!

For Carvohi

I don't know what you are complaining about.

I have tried reading some of your stories.

The recurring theme is that a pussy of a husband gets shit on, humiliated, disrespected, dishonored and he does nothing but hope she changes her mind and goes back to him.

Oh sure, he does silly little insignificant idiot things to try to win her back during that hoping. But, he is a pussy and doesn't want to confront her.

Then, after months of it, she realizes that she has "made a mistake" and he takes her back and all is well again.

Dude, that is your M.O.

Why do you care what people write about others?

David the bully sitting in his wheelchair - no chance for Stephen to exact revenge in this scenario. Or is there? Sleep with his wife? That would make adulterers of both Stephen and Ann of course, regardless if David approves or even sets it up. I would also imagine there would be plenty of guilt to go around the next morning, even more than under normal "cheating" circumstances. I have a better idea!

Stephen should flip the wheelchair on it's side dumping David the (former) bully out on the floor - yank his pants down - give him an atomic wedgie - then kick him in the balls a couple of times. I don't know, maybe pop him in the nose for good measure, get some tears and blood flowing. Sounds cruel, sure, but since bullies only attack and harass those incapable of defending themselves, it sounds like the fair and most efficient way to give him a taste of his own medicine. Right?

Yeah, I know, I know. We're the good guys and we don't do stuff like that - at least not as adults. Besides, doing that would make us bullies just like sleeping with Ann would make us adulterers - and, all things considered, if we have to wear a name, I'd much rather see Ann's ass rather than David's. So, if it was me, I guess I'll just have to be an adulterer, even though I hate those bastards. At least it's for a good cause!

It's hard to revenge yourself on a man in a wheelchair. I mean you can't go over and smack him in his jaw now can you? But can you try and seduce a crippled man's wife away with his permission? An interesting dilemma. Well played.

These kind of situation test what kind of man you are. It's ok to take other man's woman, even with his permission?

I would say, no.

The fact that he was a bully changes things?

No, what's wrong is still wrong.

David is obviously single, and he seems to be a good guy.

Is this the way he wants to start a serious relationship?

Suppose David is looking just for "revenge" or "payback" fucking his wife.

None of this is going to happen since he already have Steve's blessing.

I see no win for David in this situation. Sure he fucks a gorgeous wife, the wife of his bully, who is now in a wheelchair. What kind of man does it makes him?

In this only case, I liked the open ending.

But since you write that he's done married women before, he probably will get involved.

hard to believe that David did a 180 in life, but stranger things have happened, and being in a wheelchair can cause one to re-evaluate. Anyway, 5* from me.

The bully gets a divorce and names Stephen in an Alienation of Affection suit and gets the lion's share in the divorce. And ruins Stephen's reputation and causes him to be fired. Still a bully.

It's England there is no alienation of affection laws. It is a no blame 50/50 country. TK

Not a favorite, but an interesting story.

Almost the whole first page was unnecessary. Long winded and seemed to only be there to make sure you got passed the minimum word count.

to the empathetic person in the wheel chair.

What a change that rugby scrum brought to this guy's life !!

Certainly took the wind out of Stephen's sails.

Tough situation...difficult decision

I guess as my own revenge I would say thanks but no thanks. Somehow having hi approve of my being with his wife makes it like he wins. Me implying that I have no interest in his wife would make me feel better. If at some point she approaches me then fine, do her like a street whore and send her home used. Shame to hurt her feelings but all the better to give it back to David.

David could keep it up better than a normal man. Authors need to keep up with "modern (i.e the last 50 years) medicine".

Why do I hear England Dan and John Ford Co0ley's "Sad To Belomg To Someone Else" running through my head?

And what did David mean when he said "if in two years she wants you rather than me"? I have to wonder what he thinks might happen during or after the next two years. So now I have to check your other stories to see if this plot continues for Stephen, Ann and David. I hope it does continue, just not sure who I would like to it progress.

Where's the fun in stealing his bully's wife if she's given to him?

Wow… interesting ending. Too bad it took a life changing injury for David to grow up. But, he looks to be turning out to be a great person?!?! Thank-you for the story

Insipid. 2 stars.

Pphhhfffttt

Okay!

4

Really enjoyed that. Thank you

Low blow going with the handicapped guy.

"Payback time” was a piss poor ending. Soulless and petty. How about, “David, despite our past, there is a beauty in life the two of us were meant to share."

Totally unbelievable even in fiction. Just a 3* for effort!

Please, for all of us who read the story and enjoyed it, finish it please. Put the ending on it that it needs. It’s like it’s a chapter short of being complete. It’s a good story! And the potential for the next chapter is unlimited. I hope you’ll consider chapter 2. Thanks

Interesting. This is a sword with two sides. Did David really propose their affair to keep Ann from leaving him by his noble sacrifice, knowing it would always be a wedge and a reminder that his sacrifice was a selfless sign of his love for her and only for her happiness? What wife could leave her husband for another man just to fulfil her needs after that noble jester, or was he really sorry for his being a bully? As the story is now it could go either way. Bullies don't usually change unless something really life changing happens to them, like being paralyzed from the waist down. As I said in the beginning, Interesting.

Famous man with a Ph. D. is a whiny, snively jerk who chases after married women. Uninteresting story.