All Comments on 'Best Sister Ever Ch. 01'

I like your idea very much. Preggo sis taken in, and obviously at some point will show her gratitude. Would like it even better if she were the reluctant one who was seduced by sis and BIL. And you write well, and have a good style. But all the other comments are very valid. One page that said not much won't cut it. Don't drag it out. I love longer stories, but not when they are thirty chapters of one page each. And the weed and wine while preggers? Not cool. Even in fiction. Keep trying though. Lots of potential.

Other comments are regarding chemical abuses are well taken; the impact during the first two trimesters are even more damaging than later.

Don't use slang spellings - like "tonite" versus "tonight."

And the main character is ignorant of Spanish or flaky -- because if she does love her sister, Jaime's attitude of her sister as a "puta" should piss her off. If someone translated it as being loose or even slutty, that's a serious understatement, and it's not meant as a compliment.

Keep writing. You have a good style, and obviously know how to write a sentence. Curious to see where you will take this tale. Thanks for sharing!

I know this is the first chapter but DAMN. I tend to agree with 1 of the anon critics that this is the first of a long drawn out story. I'll go 2 stars to start but I hope it gets better. Sure can't get much duller.

DragonRider55

A great start. Take your time.

And I'm looking forward to chapter 2! thank you for sharing this with us!

Loved the back story in understanding them. I can’t wait to see how their interaction continue and if hubby gets involved even more.

Could have been something interesting...even if wine and weed was a horrendous direction while preggers...but since it's been over 3 years, I guess that ship sailed. If there is a next time, don't drag out stories just to up the chapter list.

was a great start to this story. was a little turned off by the drug and wine when she is pregnant, even as a grandpa of 9 know that's a no no. otherwise this story could have gone a couple more chapters. i couple see a threesome coming soon, even with her being pregnant, more fun. oh well don't believe more will be coming..