Beth's Aural Obsession

"What I mean is, I often hear sounds in the night, but they don't usually disturb me. Some of them, in fact, I enjoy hearing." Her heart was racing but she forced herself to maintain control as she turned and walked from the hallway back to her room. She could feel Jackson's eyes on her as she went.

*****

The next day, Heather left Jackson at the apartment while she went to a baby shower, and when Beth came out for coffee, he was there. The look he gave her communicated that he clearly had something on his mind. And that the something had to do with her.

"Morning," he said, watching her face carefully as she entered the kitchen.

She regarded him warily. She could feel him reading her body language. It was odd how in tune she was with him in that way. And similarly she read his. He was poised, tensed. He had an agenda. He was going to put that male one-track mind to good use. She knew she was done for. She poured her coffee and tried not to look at him or think about what she had been so stupid to say last night. "Morning," she replied.

"Did I..." Jackson began, and then trailed off.

Beth said nothing, just finished fixing her cup of coffee while he watched her like a hawk the entire time. She was intensely aware of him studying her. Waiting. Predatory.

She took her cup of coffee over to the table and sat down across from him.

She looked him right in the eyes and said, "Yes."

"Wow," he breathed.

They both sat in silence a moment.

"Fuck, it's so hot knowing that you can hear us," Jackson breathed.

"I hear you," Beth corrected. "I can't hear her. Not well enough to make anything out. But I hear you perfectly." She blushed and looked away. "And I love to listen to you," she added.

A sharp intake of breath from Jackson. "Do you have any idea what that does to me?"

She looked pointedly at his erection tenting his pajama pants. "I think I have an idea," she said wryly.

They were both quiet again for a moment. And then, "For me, too..." she whispered. "It's like you're speaking to me...I know you're not, but I feel it right through me." She couldn't believe she was saying these things. This was not her. Not this brazen honesty.

"But now that I know, how can I get that thought out of my head?"

"You can't, any more than I can get it out of my head that you're saying things knowing I can hear them."

They were both quiet.

"I'm just gonna..." she motioned toward her room. "Process."

"Ok."

She left him sitting in the kitchen, his head in his hands.

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck-all fuck. This was a mess. She wasn't a home wrecker. Had no intention of stealing Heather's boyfriend right out from underneath her nose. It was a dirty slut move and she wouldn't be a part of something like that again. She'd done it when she was younger and always felt shitty about it.

And yet. She couldn't un-ring the bell. It was out. Jackson knew. And Jackson felt the same way. And now Jackson, who had a need that wasn't being fulfilled by Heather, was very aware that he could fill that need with Beth. A game-changer. Meanwhile Beth having several needs (all unfulfilled and sex being the greatest of those) was very aware – too aware, one might say – that she could have her needs met by Jackson. And Heather absolutely out of this loop.

She paced her room. Thought about how easy it would be to just throw everything to the wind and have him. And yet it would be wrong, a wrong thing to do. A very bad thing. And everyone could end up being hurt by it.

But then she realized she was over thinking it. Nothing had to change. It wasn't cheating. She wasn't committing to anything. Yes, it was weird, filthy, perverse in a number of ways. But she could handle it. In fact, she preferred it. Less mess.

She went back in the kitchen. Jackson stood up when she came in, his delightfully southern roots showing. She sighed and stopped at the door frame, leaning against it and crossing her arms.

"Jackson," she said, looking directly at him, her speech all prepared. "This is ok. We're all ok. It's all going to be fine. We just freaked out. Nothing has to change."

"What do you mean?" Jackson asked. "With us? How could nothing change? We have too much information!"

"It won't. Jackson, we don't have to do anything. I'm not asking for anything. Heather makes you happy, and that's the relationship you want, so..." she trailed off and shrugged, secretly wondering in what ways Heather possibly made Jackson happy.

"But..." he moved toward her, almost pinning her to the wall. She relaxed herself against it, and he pressed almost to her, just a few inches separating his body from hers. "She doesn't. And I want you so badly," he whispered in her ear. Telegraphing to her wet cunt. She was trembling from his proximity, from the sound of his voice, from his male smell which buckled her knees.

"We can't," she whispered, her entire body in agony from the refusal.

"We can do anything we want," he whispered back, his voice hot and husky in her ear.

"Jackson, no..." she protested, her resolve losing momentum as he moved closer, covering her, but still without touching her. Their clothes brushed together, but their bodies were still fractions away.

"Beth, yes..." he breathed against her neck.

Her stomach felt like the room had dropped out from underneath her. Her head reeled.

"You're someone else's boyfriend," Beth said, gathering enough of her senses to slip out of his reach. "I can't, Jackson. If you and Heather break up, that's fine. Let me know if that happens. But I can't be responsible for hurting her, not in any way. And you don't want to do that, either." Her chest heaved, and her entire body actually ached, as if moving away from him had removed some protective membrane. As if they had been connected in some way, physically.

He had his hand over his face, pinching the bridge of his nose. "You're right," he agreed. "No, fuck, you're right. It would be horrible. She's never been anything but good to me. But."

"But," she agreed.

"It's just as horrible having sex with her and thinking of you, which is already starting to happen."

"I don't know what to tell you, Jackson. This is already a better deal for you than it is for either of us." It took every inch of her willpower to go to her room and close and lock the door behind her.

Jackson wasn't around all the next week. Heather was quiet and avoided Beth. For a few terrible, guilt-ridden days, Beth wondered if maybe he'd said something to her. But she couldn't believe that had happened. Just a fight, then. But she missed seeing Jackson and she missed her roommate's usually cheerful personality. By Friday, when Heather wasn't getting dressed up to go to dinner, Beth knew something was wrong.

"So what do I not know?" she asked softly when Heather came out to the living room in sweatpants.

"It's over with Jackson," Heather replied quietly. "I just couldn't. But I miss him."

"I miss him around here, too," Beth said, truthfully.

Heather looked at her gratefully. "You were always so cool about having him here, which I appreciate."

Beth felt like a horrible person in about twenty different ways. "Well, he's a good guy."

"If you don't have to sleep with him," Heather said.

"If you don't have to worry about sharing his particular kinks," Beth corrected. "You guys were just incompatible. It happens. It could just as easily have been something else."

*****

It was nearly two weeks later when Beth got a text message from Jackson: "had to get my head together. can I see you?"

She couldn't text back. She had to hear his voice. She dialed his number and he answered, his voice sliding around her like a warm blanket, wrapping her up, assuring her that everything was going to be okay. They planned to meet at his new apartment the next day.

Beth couldn't sleep at all that night. She tossed and turned and forced herself to abstain from satisfying herself. She knew what he wanted. She knew what she wanted. And yet...it still felt wrong. Still felt forbidden, even though they were perfectly within their rights, as two single people. But it felt dirty nonetheless.

She wondered if her entire attraction to Jackson was based on the fact that he was forbidden fruit.

At his apartment the next day he was nervous, pacing. A very different Jackson. "There's no rule book for this," he began. "And I feel like this looks like a really bad situation. I feel like I'm asking you to be part of something that is...less than honorable."

"And I've behaved so honorably? Jackson, I –"

"Shhh... Please let me finish," he begged. "I just want to get this off my chest. I've been thinking of nothing but this for the past two weeks."

"Okay," she agreed, taking a seat on his couch.

"So...a couple things you should know." He paced back and forth before sitting down next to her.

"Yes?"

"First, I wasn't just interested in you after I found out you heard us. I was...attracted to you from the beginning. From the day I met you. And I really liked Heather at first, but the better I got to know her, the more I knew she wasn't the girl for me. And to be honest, I looked forward to hanging out with you. We always had such a good time."

Beth nodded.

"So should I have ended things with Heather earlier? Yeah. I guess so. I did like her, but I just didn't love her. I was into her, but not as much as I could have been. So that maybe was kind of wrong. But I hope it doesn't mess things up for us."

"But..." Beth started. "Jackson, where do you see this going?"

"I don't know," he answered truthfully. "I have no idea."

They both sat quietly, and then Jackson scooted a bit closer, a familiar gleam in his eye. "I know one place I'd like it to go."

Beth's breath caught in her throat. He took her hand, planted a feather-light kiss on this inside of her wrist, and grinned at her.

"Jackson," she said weakly.

" 'Jackson' nothing. You're here. That tells me everything. Tell me you don't want this." He pulled her to him and she didn't even try to protest. "I don't want to think. I don't want to ponder the world's problems. I want to get naked with you and have hot, sweaty, loud, endless sex." He was grinning like a little kid but she could tell he was aroused. Her body responded in kind and she grabbed his face and kissed him. And the kiss, the kiss that had been so long coming was steamy and feverish and all-consuming. She wanted to devour him. When they pulled apart they were both out of breath.

Without a word, he slid his hand under her dress, his fingers dancing on her inner thigh as he moved them up, watching her face. When his fingertips reached the delicate edge of her panties, she whispered, "Take them off me." His fingers closed around the front and he yanked them down and she kicked them off the rest of the way. She crawled onto his lap, straddling him, and he reached between them to free his straining erection from his pants and slide it between her waiting pussy lips.

She moaned as he sank into her, their clothes bunching between them, the zipper of his pants biting into her thigh, but she didn't care. Jackson was inside her, and she was delirious with lust. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he buried his face in her hair, murmuring, "It feels so good to be inside you...I've been thinking about your pussy all day...thinking about what it would feel like to fuck you."

The thrill of him talking to her, directly to her, was unbelievable. Hotter than listening to him through walls, which she didn't think possible.

"Tell me what you want," he urged her. "I want to hear you."

"I want to ride your cock...I want you to fuck me and never stop. I want you to do anything you want to me."

"Mmmm," he said, thrusting his hips up at her, making her gasp with each stroke. "I'm gonna make you cum and cum until you can't think straight."

"OhgodJackson," she moaned. "Jackson, Jackson, Jackson..." She murmured his name and rode him, her entire body in a state of fever. She was so wet that she was soaking his khakis and the bottom of his tee shirt which had somehow gotten pressed between them. She was only slightly aware of it, aroused as she was. Jackson was tugging down the front of her dress now, cupping her breasts and rubbing his face on them as he fucked her.

"Look at these perfect, beautiful tits," he breathed, sucking on one nipple and then burying his face between them. Then he took the other nipple between his teeth, lightly, no sucking or pressure, and the sensation of his mouth, the anticipation of what he would do next made her wild.

"Yes...Oh Jackson..."

"Yeah?" he murmured between her tits.

"Don't...stop...don't..."

"Nothing in the world could make me stop," he promised, grabbing her hips and rolling her so she was pinned beneath him on the couch, her bare legs wrapped around him, her sundress bunched around her waist. The front of his pants were soaked and he impatiently tugged them and his boxers off as she yanked at his tee shirt. He was naked and she was practically naked and in this position he was hitting all sorts of lovely new places within her, so that she writhed under him and gasped each time he hit a good spot.

"Wanna cum yet?" he said with a grin, nibbling her collarbone.

"Yes.... Oh, god, yes..."

He looked into her eyes. "Tell me, then."

"Make me cum," she growled, and he slid off of her and down her body to her hot, wet, cunt. His tongue found her clit and he licked and sucked at her until she was hovering on the edge, where he kept her, giving her just enough to keep her on the lee. And when she thought she couldn't stand it any more, that if she didn't cum she would faint from the intensity of the pleasure, he crawled back up to her and slid back inside her. His mouth when he kissed her tasted like her, and she nipped at his bottom lip as he buried his cock deep within her once again.

"Cum for me," begged Jackson. "I want to hear you say my name and I want to watch your face while you cum."

"I'm close...so fucking close..." she panted, wrapping her legs tighter, up around his ribs.

"Cum on my cock...let me feel you...I want to feel that tight cunt squeezing my dick..." He was so close himself, holding back for her, but unable to keep it up for much longer. He felt his orgasm start, drawing up and out of his balls as he sank into her again and again. "Oh, fuck, Beth, I'm gonna cum...I'm cumming..." he groaned, and she started as well, her intense climax washing over her while she cried his name and dug her fingers into his ass. It seemed to go on and on, this unraveling of something inside of her, this breaking free.

When they were both still he kissed her tenderly and murmured, "That was exactly what I always hoped it would be like. You're so amazing."

"Why amazing?" she teased.

"You let go. You let go and you're there with me. Any idea how fucking hot that is? Or how rare?"

She shook her head, suddenly self-conscious, and buried her face into his neck, pressing her lips against him, tasting his sweat, still excited even after the force of her orgasm. But they napped in their exhausted heap, Jackson still between her legs, his head on her chest, listening to her heartbeat.

*****

She had doubts. She constantly had doubts about him. About them. The old "if it starts with sex, it has nowhere to go" saying ran through her head. She second-guessed everything. When she was with him, she had no doubts. When she was away from him, she lived in panic, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

And yet everything was great. They spent lots of time together, taking in the city like tourists, making out and groping one in public another like teenagers without a care. Jackson sent her e-mails throughout the day, some sweet, some erotic. Even grocery shopping together was an arousing experience.

She tried not to be a neurotic mess and he was patient when she was one. He worked himself to death and she reminded him to leave it at the office...usually by luring him into bed. They spent the better part of the first month learning one another by trial and error, having missed the slow unfolding of one another that generally comes with dating.

And sex with Jackson was like being on a beautiful private island. They wallowed in bed for hours, no clocks and no obligations and no cares, just pleasure. Jackson was tireless, adventurous, naughty, dirty. He teased her endlessly, made her beg, fucked her senseless, made tender love to her till she wept. It was a separate universe, their own planet. She was so free and so happily uninhibited and bloomed under his touch. She was alternately wanton or submissive or demanding or reluctant and he loved it all. He went any direction she wanted to go. There were no rules, no boundaries, no borders. She felt like they had invented sex together and the rest of the world was still waiting to learn.

But. The doubts. Sometimes she could be sure and sometimes she lay awake in bed, watching him sleep, this perfect, incredible, loving, open man, and she wasn't sure at all.

Jackson, though, was onto her. There were times when he woke up to find her staring at the wall and chewing her lip and he knew, without ever saying a word. "Stop," he pleaded, looking into her eyes. "Don't. We're fine. We're better than fine. Just stop." And he was so sincere and so concerned and so beautiful she gave in, every time. She just wished she could make it go away.

One day she was pacing the floor of the apartment, gnawing on her thumb, waiting for Jackson to get back from the store, her stomach tied in knots, when he burst through the door, a big goofy smile on his face, and swept her into his arms, kissing all over her face until she giggled and squealed.

"Somebody missed me," she murmured.

"Two somebodies," he grinned, pressing her hand against his erection. "See what you do to me? I was hard before I even got up the stairs. But I have something for you."

She gave him a suspicious look.

"Not that. I mean, yes, that too, but something more important first."

"More important than your giant cock inside me?" she teased, "What, pray tell, is better than that?"

"Good point," he said. "But this is." He was suddenly serious and a little nervous.

"Babe, what? You're scaring me..."

He smiled and pulled something out of his pocket and then pressed it into her palm. It was a key ring with a single key on it, two silver letter charms – a "B" and a "J" - dangling from the ring. "I want you to move in here with me," he said. "This is yours. We do this at your pace. But I want you here. I want you here with me, every day, every night. We make so much sense together."

Her mind reeled. Jackson had never lived with a woman before, she knew that. She'd lived with her fiancé and it had been a disaster. The whole thought of living together gave her palpitations. It would ruin everything. It would kill the sex...

"Stop," he commanded, pulling her into his arms. "I see where you're going. Just stop. Everything is okay. I love you."

Her eyes widened and so did his as he realized what he'd just said. He grinned. "I meant that, though, before you say anything. Things don't always happen like in the movies. Sometimes you can just blurt out to your girlfriend that you love her when you're trying to get her to move in with you and it's okay to do that. Want me to say it again? I'll say it again. I. Love. You."

She felt her eyes welling up with tears and her chest tightening and she pulled away from him, her mind going in a million directions at once. He watched her and let her go, knowing she needed a moment, fully confident that she would be back.

She didn't get far. She collapsed against the wall and looked at him, her eyelashes damp and all the breath gone out of her.