Big Loss, Big Gain Pt. 01

Tuesday morning I was cleaning the spare bedroom that Jim had used while he was sick. As I was dusting one of the bookcases, I came across our wedding album so I decided to take a look at it once again. Wow, I thought. Look at how handsome Jim is, and he's hardly changed at all. I glanced at a nearby mirror and realized that I hadn't aged quite as well. "What the hell am I doing?" I thought. I've got a Rolex of a man here that I can have any time I want, and here I am looking at Timex pieces. Oh how I wish that Kathy had never told me about her 'secret life'. I was happy until she got me going. Right then and there I decided that it's going to be 'one and done' for me. I knew that if I tried to cancel on both, she would be pissed, otherwise I would. This whole thing was absolute insanity.

It was a good thing that both Jim and Sarah were not around on Tuesday to see me pace the floor. I was nervous as hell, and getting concerned about my ability to all this bottled-up inside me for the rest of my life, but deep down I knew a absolutely had to.

That night after I answered John's knock on the door, my fantasy of doing it with a George Clooney look-a-like soon vanished, as John's profile was a little on the disingenuous side. The photo he had posted must have been at least 5 years ago when he had a lot more hair and a much smaller stomach. In any case, he was reasonably good looking, but not nearly as handsome as my Jim. In our mutual excitement, we stripped off most of our clothes quickly, but then seemed to have an awkward moment. To get things started I got down on my knees and started sucking his cock. After I few minutes, I laid back on the bed and spread my legs so he could lick my pussy. It felt good, but I started thinking about Jim and how much better he is at doing it. However, he did pick up the pace on my clit and gave me a nice orgasm. Because of his bulk, I turned over and invited him to take me doggy-style. For awhile I enjoyed a good fucking, but then it seemed like his breathing was getting very labored. It was apparent that John was not in the best physical condition, so I started worrying about him having a heart attack. I pushed him away and suggesting that I ride him. He was all for that. So I mounted him and rode him slowly at first, but then steadily faster. I can't deny it...his cock felt nice. I gave him a nice smile and asked him if my pussy felt good. He said it felt great and 'don't stop', but I decided switch to reverse cowgirl. By doing this, I wasn't looking directly at him. I starting to pretend that it was Jim fucking me, not John. I started riding him like there was no tomorrow as I could feel another orgasm coming. I told him I wanted his hot load. Before I could cum though, much to my disappointment, John grunted and came. I realized almost immediately that something was wrong. When his cock slipped out, I felt cum dripping out of me. The condom had broken. John was very apologetic. Since I knew it wasn't all his fault I tried to make light of it, but he could sense my unhappiness. Judging by the speed in which John got all his clothes on, said a hurried 'goodbye' and left, I was thinking that John was just as new as I was about this stuff, and probably feeling just about as guilty. This was without a doubt the worst sex I'd ever had. I started to think 'why I did I let this happen?'. I was so disappointed in myself. A minute later I was on the phone with Kathy.

Laura: "OK, It's done and I'm done. I mean it, Kathy. CANCEL THURSDAY AND DELETE ALL MY STUFF. Thanks for helping, but I'm out. This 'extra' stuff is not for me. This is not what I'm all about."

Jim's view

I had a horrible night's sleep, as the ipecac worked a little too well. So I was up several times between emotional episodes. Each time I woke up, a had a split second where I thought 'it was just a dream', but soon stark reality would hit me once again. I kept thinking about all the decisions I'd made over the years, and asked myself 'what would I have done differently', 'where did I go wrong', etc. After thinking about it for hours, I realized that every decision I made was in the best interest of my family. We were comfortable, but not rich. Sure, I would love to have a fancy sports car like Bob or Larry at work, but I thought it would be more responsible to put money in an account for Sarah's college or to be able to get things for Laura. I was proud of my 'well dressed' girls. I guess that knowing that I had always 'done the right thing' gave me a little relief. I never forgot a birthday, an anniversary, and often sent flowers because 'it was a Tuesday'. It least I wouldn't be second guessing my moves or thinking 'she wouldn't have done this if I'd only done whatever', etc. No, my conscience was clear that the paths I'd taken were correct. I wouldn't have changed anything.

I spent most of Saturday and Sunday in bed, my head swimming in thought. After calling my boss and explaining everything, I decided that I would make a miraculous recovery on Sunday night, right on time to make a business trip to the home office on Monday. Of course, I would not actually be traveling far away. I went to the airport, parked my car, then rented one. I stayed in same town as the Easy Breeze, but not in that dump. Jerry called to let me know the electronics had arrived. Ron and I met him at the Easy Breeze Monday night and installed everything. We ran some tests and the video and audio quality was amazing. Now we just had to see if the girls would take action again on Thursday.

On Tuesday morning, I checked Laura/Lisa' e-mail. Part of me, I guess, was hoping to find the e-mail account closed and the profile removed, but that was not the case. It fact it seemed that Laura was taking advantage of my being out-of-town by booking the room for two nights. I guess things didn't work out with Jeremy because he was out and two other guys were in. John for Tuesday and a Peter for Thursday. The knowledge that multiple sex partners were involved was going to make it easier for me to go forward. I called Laura, putting on my best 'I'm OK, but very busy, so I'll talk to you later" routine.

Jerry loved being 'Mr. Spy'. He went over on Wednesday and downloaded the video to CD. He called me later at the hotel and told me that it was good...and bad. As we expected, the quality of the recording was good, but he warned me, 'Jimmy, this is going to be very difficult for you to watch'.

He was right, very right, as it was the worst thing I've ever viewed. She could have had me at any time by just asking, but there she was fucking some fat slob. I guess that she really didn't think much of me. My confidence as a man was just about the lowest it has ever been. I tried not to hang my head and cry, but sometimes you just can't help it.

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The next morning I knew I needed to inform Sarah of what was going on. I honestly didn't know how bad she going to take it. I wasn't blind to the fact that her relationship with her mother had been deteriorating over the last year or so, and frankly I couldn't understand why. Especially after hearing some parental nightmare stories from my work friends, in my view, Sarah has always been the perfect daughter. Intelligent. Thoughtful. Respectful. She would be heading off to college soon to pursue a career as a Pharmacist.

Sarah responded to my text exactly as I had asked, meaning she came to the hotel without informing anyone. As I fully expected, she arrived with a concerned look.

Sarah: "OK, Dad, what's going on? What's this all about?"

Jim: "Sarah, I have some rather upsetting news that I need to share with you."

Sarah: "Your killing me here! Please, just tell me!"

Jim: "I'm throwing your mother out of the house."

Sarah: "What? Why?"

Jim: "She has joined some type of on-line club and has been meeting other men for sex."

Sarah: "Come on Dad! Mom? No way! Have you lost your mind?"

Jim: "Look, Sarah. It's true. I have proof."

I showed her a copy of Laura's on-line profile picture and Sarah started to look a little more concerned.

Jim: "I have more pictures, but please do not make me show them to you."

Sarah: "I admit that the mole and the scar look like mom's, but it could just be a close resemblance. No, I'm sorry Dad. I'm need more. Look, I'm eighteen and a have seen some porn. I can take it."

I picked out 2 of the more 'mature audience' type photos as opposed to some of the graphic triple X type. As she scanned them, tears started running her cheek.

Sarah: "Dad, I'm sorry I doubted you. Please forgive me."

Jim: "Don't worry about it sweetie. You were just being pragmatic, and giving your mother the benefit of the doubt."

Sarah: "I don't know what to say other than 'I am so mad at her'. For months now, it seems that she's never satisfied with anything I do, and now this. I'm so sorry she's done this to you. In a way, I still have trouble believing it."

Jim: "Sarah, soon you will be heading off to college and absolutely nothing is going to derail those plans. We'll get through this, and don't worry about me. In the long run, I'll be OK. You have a wonderful future ahead of you. I just know it. I can't begin to tell you how proud I am of you."

Sarah: "I love you, Dad."

Jim: "And I love you, Sarah. Always have and always will."

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Laura's view

So on Thursday, I never headed over to the Easy Breeze. Instead, I went to the movies. By myself. I didn't want to come home too early, but I couldn't wait to get back either. Jim was due back and I was so horny for him. I planned on sucking his cock, kissing and licking his big balls, and fucking his brains out with my freshly shaved pussy. I couldn't wait to feel his hot cum shooting inside me, and afterward telling him how much I love him and how lucky I am to have him.

I pulled into the driveway, stopped the car and took a deep breath. Soon I'd have Jim in my arms and the nightmare would be over, I thought, as I walked to the door.

After being startled by the fact that my key wasn't turning in the lock, the door opened, but the security chain was still in place. It was not Jim standing there, but Sarah. She looked as if she had been sick, but the expression on her face was of anger and defiance. I'd seen this look many times before, and it usually was followed by snippy remarks.

Laura: "Sarah, please let me in."

Sarah: "Hi, Lisa. Sorry, 'Ms. G'. How's Peter doing?"

I was thinking, 'Oh my God! How does she know this?'.

Sarah: "Sorry. If you're looking for my mother, she's not here. In fact, she doesn't live here anymore, and if you're looking for my dad, he really not up for any visitors. He's started a grieving process because he's learned that he's lost his wife. You see, my mother apparently decided that he wasn't good enough, so she started meeting other men for sex on Tuesdays and Thursdays over at some seedy motel over in Pottersville. Hey, if you happen to see her, tell her that nearly all of her things what were in this house have been delivered over to her parents home, and that any minute now a taxi will arrive to take her there. They'll be expecting her."

As she continued to leer at me, I saw Jim slowly come into view. He looked horrible as well. In all the years I've known him, I've never seen him look at me the way he was looking at me now. This was not the look of a kind, considerate, loving man. It was a cold, icy stare that reminded me of killers you see in the movies. It sent chills down my spine.

Jim: "Well I hope it was worth it. Goodbye, 'Lisa G'."

Laura: "JIM, NO! PLEASE LET ME COME IN AND EXPLAIN. I'M SO SORRY. IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN. KATHY TALKED ME INTO IT. PLEASE, I LOVE YOU. I NEED YOU. PLEASE GIVE ME A CHANCE. PLEASE, JIM. PLEASE. I LOVE YOU."

Jim: "Love me? Are you fucking kidding me? I would call it the ultimate in disrespect and betrayal. What have I ever done, or not done, to deserve this'?. All I've ever done is to take care of you and Sarah in the best manner possible. New cars, new clothes, access to an exclusive club, and a nice home. I guess that you're going to say that it was 'just sex' and it 'didn't mean anything'. Well, after all these years you should know me well enough to understand that it means everything to me. The sex between us was supposed to be private and exclusive. I valued this part of our relationship to the utmost, but apparently you don't. All that's required for just about anyone to 'have you' is an e-mail and an appointment. Yup, send an e-mail and you're 'in', literally and figuratively. So, if it's of no value to you, then it's of no value to me either. Don't worry, Laura, soon enough you will be totally free to give your body away to anyone you want. It just will never be me. In fact, as far as I concerned, I feel no need to see or talk to you ever again."

Sarah: "Give it up, mom! Why would Dad ever want you back after you've fucked that fat slob? Yes, I seen the pictures, and some of the video.....it's' the most disgusting thing I've ever seen!"

Jim looked over at Sarah.

Jim: "Shut the door, Sarah. She's part of our past now, not our future."

I was crying hysterically when Sarah closed the door, threw the deadbolt, and shut off the light. I could see the silhouette of their hug and the sound of their cries. I couldn't believe this was happening. How could they have possibly found out? In the midst of my breakdown, I didn't see the man and women walking up the driveway. I had already gotten dizzy and had slowly collapsed to the ground.

Man: "Excuse me. Are you Laura Martin?"

Laura: "Yes."

Man: "You been served."

Women: "I'm with the law office of Drilling & Associates. Please take this papers. These are copies of the restraining orders has been granted for the protection of Sarah Martin and James Martin. Until such a time that the order is lifted, if ever, you are hereby ordered to stay away from them by at least 500 ft. In addition, please surrender the keys you have for that 2013 Mercedes over there. It's registered to Jim Martin and is no longer available for your use. If you take it, it will be reported as stolen and you will be arrested."

I couldn't believe that this was happening, but there I was tired, beaten, and emotionally spent. I handed over the keys, and seconds later the taxi appeared. I reluctantly got in. As we took off, I received a text message from Kathy, 'I don't know how, but the guys know everything. I'm so sorry Laura'.

What's going to happen to me now, I thought. Please God, there has to be a way out of this mess.

Jim's view

As I expected, the time period between the separation and initial court date was difficult. I should have anticipated the frequent phone calls from the group I soon categorized as 'advocates for Laura', family and friends who insisted that the whole matter could be talked out and resolved. Day after day I had to keep putting them off until I just couldn't take it anymore. I organized a 'sit down' at the house inviting them all.

Jim: "Now that everyone is here, I want to honestly thank you for coming. I've asked you all here today so I can explain my position on the matter at hand, with the hopes that you will all help to put a stop to all these phone calls. I have a short presentation here that I'm sure will help you fully understand my viewpoint. I respectfully request that you save all your questions, comments, and prepared statements until the presentation is over. Agreed?"

Everyone nodded in agreement. So I started the slide show and proceeded to show a copy of Laura's fake ID (which I got from Joe @ Easy Breeze), the web pages of her 'adult profile' as well as the e-mails setting up her 'dates'.

Jim: "As you can see, this was all part of a premeditated, carefully planned deception designed to cheat me out of sexual activities that rightfully belong to me."

I took a deep breath.

Jim: "OK, I'm warning all of you now. We're all adults here, but the next four slides are quite graphic. If anyone among you finds pictures of adult sexual activity offensive, then please leave the room for the next few minutes, otherwise you can now see the images that will forever be burned into my memory."

No one moved.

Jim: "All right then. Here goes."

I gave each slide about 8-10 seconds of viewing time. The start of each slide brought various gasps and groans from the audience. By the time I got to the fourth slide, I honestly thought that Laura's dad was going to have a heart attack. He was taking it the worst.

Slide 1 showed Laura on her knees, sucking John's cock.

Slide 2 showed a smiling Laura, on her knees, with John's cock head just about to enter her doggy style.

Slide 3 showed Laura riding him in an near orgasmic state.

Slide 4 showed a surprised Laura, seeing the broken condom and his seed dripping from her pussy.

Jim: "You understand here, that this is not someone who has been seduced, coerced, or manipulated in any way. It's apparent that she's having quite a nice time for herself here."

I paused for a moment, then continued.

Jim: "I want it noted for the record that there is nothing physically wrong with me. I have no disease or erectile problems of any kind. There is nothing that this man did to her that I could not have done. You see, this is her choice, not mine. Apparently, I'm just not enough for her anymore. The images that I have just shown you here are the ones that I see every morning when I awake and that I see before falling asleep. I can only hope that over time these images will fade. How could this possibly be forgivable? Now, all you men here, would you tolerate your wife doing this to you? And you women, would it be OK if your man was out fucking other women? And remember, we're talking about multiple nights and multiple men. Not a 'one-time' mistake. Look at me straight in the eye and give me your answers."

The looks on their faces said it all. They were all starting to understand me...load and clear.

There was some quiet small talk for awhile and then slowly they all left. Nearly all of them apologized and said they would stop calling.

Laura's view

I was nervous as hell waiting for them to come back. When I saw the car pulling into the drive, my heart was pounding. As they exited the car, the body language I saw among the group was not encouraging. When they got to the door, I opened it. Dad looked horrible. He walked past me with a blank expression, not saying a word, then went upstairs.

Laura: "Well, what happened? Were you able to convince him to talk to me?"

Mom: "No. He was too busy convincing us. He showed us his 'evidence'. Good God, Laura. A secret identity, sex meetings? I don't know what's gotten into you. Jim showed us some pictures, horrible pictures of you enjoying yourself with some fat pig of a man. Pictures that a father should never see. How could you? Your husband is a kind, considerate, handsome, successful man and a wonderful father. Well, I hope it was worth it. You've ruined your life, and ours as well. Now we'll have to accelerate our plans to sell the house sale and move to Florida."

Laura: "Move to Florida? Please...you can't."

What's when my younger sister spoke up.

Sister: "Do you have any idea on how your actions are going to reflect on the rest of us? Jim is a beloved man in this community. How are mom and dad go show their faces at church now? The 'cat is fully out of the bag now'. Do you have any idea how angry Sarah is about this? She adores her father. The word is spreading. Soon, EVERYBODY WILL KNOW WHAT YOU'VE DONE."

Mom: "Better get used to it, Laura. You've lost them both."

I collapsed to the floor.

Jim's view

My attorney, Frank, told me that the divorce was going to come at a price, which I guess I was prepared for, more or less. There was no avoiding it, even though we did not reside in a 'no-fault divorce' state. No matter how guilty she was, the court was not going to have her thrown into the street nearly penniless with a likelihood of needing welfare. Frank suggested that we could probably get a better monetary settlement if the reason was changed from 'adultery' to 'irreconcilable differences'. I instructed Frank that this would only be acceptable if the monetary difference was significant. He did give me some news that I wasn't fully prepared for.