All Comments on 'Billionaire and the Sisters Ch. 17'

by SteveWallace

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  • 9 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago

After the last two chapters I thought this might get betterm I was wrong in that assumption. Too bad. This could have gone much better without just diving into the deepend of total acceptance and lame orgy gangbangs the last ten chapters. Once elsa took mark back you flipped some switch and theyve become completely different characters. Oh well time to find something else now.

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
No character building

First Mark was reluctant to share Elsa with other people besides her sister. In the next instant he got a hard on just thinking about Elsa with other guys if he was such a stand up guy the mere thought of whoring herself out would have given him running to the hills. The first chapters you had made it sound like this going to be a 'normal romance' story: 'boy see girl,boy fall inlove with girl".. If you read one chapter you read it all because it all come down to gangbang and orgys. If you had aim for stroke story why Mark and Ella just meet at a gangbang and eberybody would have known where this story is going. Now all your characters have the morals of an alley cat. I tremble in my boots to think that you are going to let Elsa and Mark marry each other because then Mark is as screwed up a character as I have ever seen. So from the first chapter you should have people know that Mark and Ella is as 'non-human' as possible because no one would have they both can turn out like that when you read the first chapter.

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
Ugh!

Sorry Steve, I didn't like this. Sex is nothing special with this group now as a love act.. This is now completely about swinging. Yes, the love component is still there, but disconnected from sex. I cannot internalize this as a value. I awarded this with a 1*. In "The Circle" that connection always remained. I don't understand why you dropped it.

dozendozenover 7 years ago
Unlike the three anonymice below...

...I'm really enjoying this story. Please keep it coming.

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
More

Love the nympho angle. Still think Melanie's old roommate should be worked into the story as a lover or sex partner at some point.

oldmsufanoldmsufanover 6 years ago
Done

Not into this scene any longer. Time for me to move on to something a lot shorter. Story has just turned into something unbelievable. I'm out.

IrishchapIrishchapover 5 years ago
Well unfortunately I've reached the end.

Again this starter strong and them petered out. This is the second time I've quit one of his stories. Both degenerated into garbage. I'm done adios.

smuuthiesmuuthieabout 5 years ago
Spotting Marcia

Funny thing Elsa spots the watcher and Deke misses her

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Where's the sex? I understand that everyone really likes to have sex with everyone, but I don't see the _details_ written down anywhere.

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userSteveWallace@SteveWallace
A note on the story Loosening Up: Yes, it has many many characters. A PDF is available upon request listing the characters and placing them in some kind of perspective for the reader. Just email me (see below). Well over 18 ... even 30, hell 40 is way back there, oh hell, o...