Billy Ch. 03

I asked Paula to hire a caterer for the food, talked to the HR director about the invitation list and asked him to put the invitations out, checked with the local association about any restrictions I needed to worry about and set the date for two weeks later. I asked Paula to coordinate the RSVPs and let me know the final count. She was excited about it since she knew a lot of the people who would be there. She was actually quite proprietary about the whole thing so I asked her to take over.

At home that evening I considered what I was going to do. I could ask Paula to act as hostess but a thought entered my mind. I went to the computer and looked up hostess responsibilities. One thing I found was that a hostess could be a professional person, a good friend or an associate. All were appropriate for someone in my position: single, highly placed and living alone. There was no requirement that the hostess be part of the company and her job would be to host the party and see to the guests. That was what I wanted to know.

Still, I thought about it and worried it to death for the next several days but the date for the party was getting close. I was sitting by the pool one evening after an easy day at work, having completed my ten laps and I was idly thinking. While all the arrangements were in place, I still needed a hostess. I finally decided to go for it and damn the consequences. It was still early so I pulled out my cell and dialed.

"Hello?"

I hadn't talked to Billy since that time with the house. I had been trying to forget her again but without much success.

"Hi Billy. It's Stuart. How are you? Busy?"

"No actually I was just finishing up a few dishes. How have you been Stu? Did you buy the house?"

"Yes I did and I moved in six weeks ago. I went furnished as you recommended and everything is perfect. I'm sitting by the pool now and it's great."

"I envy you. It's just hot here and our pool has ten thousand screaming kids in it. Too many for a poor teacher to take. After work is away from kids, not down among them."

"Well that's part of why I called. I'm having a party next weekend for the senior executives and their spouses or significant others I think they're called now. I have all details arranged: food, invitations, seats and tables and all that but I still need a hostess. Would you consider being my hostess? Just to be here, meet the guests, watch over things, in general be my right hand? You were always so good at it and I know you would be perfect. Would you consider doing it for me?"

There was no sound from the other end. As I waited I thought that maybe I had gone too far. Maybe she would see this as a slap in the face, or a way to rub her face in what she had lost. This might have been a huge mistake and I had really hurt her without thinking. I had to give her an out.

"Billy, I'm sorry. Maybe this was a bad idea. I didn't mean to hit you with this. I didn't think of how you would feel about it and I should have. I'm so stupid! Please, forgive me. I'm such an idiot! I'm so sorry."

"Stuart, wait please! No, it's alright. I was just surprised that you would think of me for your hostess. I would be honored to do it. I would love to host your party. I loved the house and it would give me a chance to see it again and to see some of your friends and coworkers. Yes, I would love to do it for you."

I breathed a sigh of relief. I was pleased, more so than I expected. As a matter of fact, I was very pleased.

"Great. Why don't you come over now and we can discuss it. Bring your suit and you can hit the pool or at least the hot tub. It's really great. You'll love it. I remember you always loved to swim."

As I hung up, I found myself waiting anxiously for her to arrive. It would be fun to share the house with her since she had found it so wonderful. To me it was a nice house but to her it was something more. An arrival and an expression of my success. I didn't think of it that way but so what.

I went inside to wait for her while I fixed some sandwiches and cold beers. I took the food outside to the small refrigerator that sat beside the built-in grill. Presumptuous, but so was the whole damn house! At least it was good for something.

When Billy arrived, I led her outside to the pool and showed her the food and drinks. I suggested she hit the pool first and I would join her. She agreed and moved over to one of the chairs and began to remove her jeans and top. Underneath she had on a one piece suit that covered almost everything. It was cut up the thigh a little but not too much. The back was open but the front was less revealing. Still, from what I could see, Billy had gotten better with time. She was leaner, trimmer and well tanned. It was clear she worked out and the definition in her legs and shoulders would give any man thoughts. While she wore her clothes cut on the loose side, her bathing suit revealed more. I preferred the suit.

She dove in and swam with strong strokes across the pool and back. She tossed her head and her hair shed water like a duck. She laughed and leaned back as she let go of the side. She swam for the next ten minutes while I sat and admired her skill. She always loved the water and she hadn't lost that. I finally joined her and we swam companionably for a while until she began to tire. As we swam over to the side, I suggested we hit the hot tub to warm up and loosen tired muscles. She agreed and we sat down across from each other.

"I'm glad you asked me over. But I admit I am surprised that you would want me to host your party. I'm thrilled that you asked me but confused as to your motivation. What are you doing Stu? Why are you being nice to me? I really want to know."

"Actually it's very simple. We had our problems but they're in the past. I always thought of you as my best friend as well as my wife. Now, I would still like to be friends. I don't have many close friends here and I haven't met many people. Honestly, I don't get out much so I don't have much of a chance to meet people. So, I'm taking advantage of you for my own purposes. I hope you don't mind."

"I don't mind at all. I'm glad you want to be friends. I've missed you. I don't get out much anymore myself so I have just a few friends, mostly teachers I work with. I have one girl friend, Penny Rutger, that I spend most of my time with. She's younger but a lot of fun. We go out to movies and plays together and she seems to like the same things I do."

"That's good. Why don't you invite her to the party? She could be there for you and maybe meet some nice people. I think there will be several bachelors there so maybe she could get lucky."

"I will. Now, can we eat and then you can show me the rest of the house. I didn't get much of a chance to see it all the last time."

We dried off and sat down at the table where we ate a lot of the sandwiches and drank most of the beer. I admit I enjoyed being with her. She was so different than I remembered and the difference was very appealing. I lost track of time before she reminded me of the tour.

We went inside and I showed her the whole house, she making comments while I watched proudly. She loved the master bedroom and the huge tub and built in shower. She moved to the great room and then to the kitchen where she took the time to examine all of the appliances and the setup. We moved to the office wing of the house passing through the family room and den with the play room. She walked out the back door to the small patio and then she went back across the yard to the sliding doors leading back inside to the great room. As she completed the tour she just nodded her head.

"OK I've got the layout now. I would like to meet with the caterer soon to see the menu and how they want to set up. Would that be OK?"

"Of course, but please, I just wanted you to be there with me. I didn't mean for you to have to work. I'm sorry you misunderstood."

"I didn't misunderstand. This is just what a good hostess does. If it were my party I would do the same thing."

"Well, actually Paula is handling a lot of it. She moved back here with me and she's now my executive secretary. She doesn't work hard either. We both have it pretty easy."

"Great! I'll call Paula tomorrow. I can work with her if it's OK with you."

"It's fine with me. I'll let her know you'll be calling."

Billy asked if she could use the shower and I agreed telling her that there were some clean towels in the linen closet in the bathroom. She went in and soon I could hear the water running and I imagined Billy naked in the shower before I caught myself. What the hell was I doing? This was my ex-wife, the woman that cheated on me and tore my heart out! I had to remember that.

As I mentally chastised myself, I found a part of me asking another question. If she were my ex-wife, then what was wrong with thinking of her as an attractive woman? No wife, no ties, no conditions. She couldn't cheat on me since we were no longer married and she couldn't hurt me if I looked at her as simply a beautiful woman that I might like to make love to. She was an attractive woman who looked very good in a swimsuit. And she was in my shower, naked.

I stood up and walked outside to watch the sun set. These thoughts were simply not appropriate and I had to stop thinking them. Why? What did it hurt?

As I was trying to make myself remember the bad times and failing miserably, Billy walked out the door and stood beside me.

"It's really beautiful here Stu. I'm so glad you bought this place. I love it."

I turned to look at her. Her hair was wet and slicked back, her makeup was gone and her face had that just scrubbed look. She was a beautiful woman and the lack of makeup couldn't detract from that. She had a peaceful smile on her face and it was too much for me to bear. I turned to her, put my hands on her shoulders and pulled her to me. As I looked into her eyes, I could see them cloud with uncertainty. She was trying to find the words she wanted to say but before she could, I kissed her.

I felt her stiffen as my lips caressed hers. She had both hands on my chest as if to push me away but there was no pressure. Instead, I felt her arms relax to allow her body to come against mine. I tightened my grip on her and pulled her tightly against me as I increased the intensity of the kiss. My tongue searched for an opening and suddenly found it. She opened her lips with a moan as she put her arms around my neck and pulled me down to deepen the kiss. Our tongues were now dancing with each other as we searched for that passion we once shared.

I pressed my erection against her stomach and she had to feel its urgency. The kiss was now more demanding and my grip was holding her tightly against me as my hands began to move down her back and over her firm behind. As I cupped her butt to pull her against me, she began to resist. I tried to overcome her resistance at first until my mind overcame my body's needs. With a curse, I pulled back and let her go.

"I'm sorry! That was unforgivable. I'm so damned sorry. Please, you deserve better from me. If you want to back out of the party, I'll understand. I'm sorry."

"Stuart, no! You have nothing to be sorry about! I wanted nothing more than for you to want me, but not this way. This is simply lust and I encouraged it. I'm the one who's sorry. I'll leave. I'll talk to you tomorrow. Thank you for a wonderful evening."

With that, she was gone. I just stood there stupidly, trying to understand what had just happened. Was she right? Was it just lust and brought on by her actions? No way. That's not what it was. That's what I had to think about. Something had happened and I wasn't sure what it was.

I had a sleepless night as I tossed and turned, trying to get hold of my feelings and my desires. It had been a while since I had been with a woman and maybe it was nothing more than that. A beautiful woman in a sexy bathing suit swimming in my pool on a beautiful evening. That was enough to make any man hot. That's what it was. Sure it was. Than why did it stop when she started to resist? Because she wasn't just a quick lay or a one night stand. This was Billy! No longer my wife but a woman I used to love.

Nothing was making sense. I finally got up just at dawn and went outside to sit and watch the sky lighten with the promise of another beautiful day. I considered a quick swim but decided against it. I didn't want to think about Billy diving into the pool, her blond hair shining and her face glowing with the bracing feel of the water. I didn't want to think of her graceful strokes or the way her suit followed the curves of her hips and breasts. I didn't want to think of her sitting in the hot tub, her breasts pushing against the suit and granting me a wonderful view. I didn't want to think of any of those things but I did.

I went in, fixed coffee and got dressed. I would go in to work early and try to get some things done. There was nothing that I needed to do but maybe I could find something.

At work the first thing I did was review the party list. HR had done a nice job with the invitations and RSVP list that Paula left on my desk showed an almost perfect turnout. Of course, since I was the boss, how many were going to refuse an invitation. As they say, 'It's good to be the king' So, we had approximately fifty people coming. Not bad. I was still reviewing the names, trying to see how many I could recognize when Paula came in. She was surprised to see me in that early but she simply raised her eyebrows and went for coffee.

"Here's your coffee. Can I ask why you were in so early? Problems I don't know about?"

"No problems. I just couldn't sleep. Nothing to worry about. And oh, by the way, Billy will be calling you today about the party."

Paula stopped fussing with her coffee cup and gave me a long look. I felt like a small child about to be quizzed on what I did wrong.

"Your Billy? And why would Billy be calling me about the party?"

"Well, I asked her to play hostess for me. She accepted. She wanted to know something about the caterer so I told her that you had been doing most of the work. I didn't want to ask you to be hostess so I asked Billy."

"You asked Billy to be your hostess? At your house? How did you think to ask her? I didn't know you even saw her since you were back in town."

"I saw her at pop's funeral and then I asked her for help in finding a house to buy. Since she knew the area better, I didn't think it would be a bad idea to get someone local."

"So your ex-wife helped you pick out your new house and she's going to be your hostess? And you just asked her to help you as a friend?"

"Yes, exactly! As a friend. She's changed a lot since our divorce. I thought it would be good if we could be friends again. You'll see, she's different now. You'll like her."

"I always liked Billy. It was too bad what she did but I still liked her. I didn't much care for Mark, but I liked Billy. She was a good person even if she did do a bad thing."

"Well good, then you won't mind working with her."

"Not at all. Not at all."

With that she walked away humming to herself. And during the morning I saw her smiling a lot. Maybe she was happy with the help. I guess I had given her a lot to do. But I thought no more about it until Paula buzzed me to tell me Billy was on the other line. I had forgotten she was going to call but I felt a small glow of pleasure when Paula told me.

"Hi there. Did you and Paula get things straightened out?"

"She's a real jewel. She had everything planned out and there's nothing left for me to do but be there. She emailed me the menu and the attendance list so I'll have that. It's really a done deal and all I have to do is greet your guests."

"Great. I bet Paula really appreciated the help. I keep forgetting how much I'm asking of you two. I just get to stand around and look important while you two do all the work. It's a great job I've got, you have to admit."

"It certainly is. Stuart, about last night. I wanted to make sure you knew that you weren't at fault. I don't want you to think you had done anything wrong. It was me, that's all."

"No, I was out of line. I just forgot for a minute. You were there and you looked so beautiful that I think I just reacted inappropriately. It won't happen again. I promise."

"Well, I'm not so sure that I like that last part. But it's forgotten. We can be friends and that's all I've hoped for. I appreciate your giving me a chance to be your friend again. I hope I've changed for the better."

Before I could say anything else, she said a quick goodbye and hung up. I held the phone, just looking at it for a minute. When she hung up, I felt a sudden emptiness. I put the phone down just as Paula came in. She pulled the door closed and sat down in the chair at the side of the desk where she sat when she was taking dictation.

"Stuart, I hope you know what you're doing. You know that Billy still loves you as much as ever don't you? She really screwed up but that didn't change that part of her. We talked a little but she's convinced herself that you two can be friends without any further involvement. I think that's a little unrealistic and I want you to think very carefully. You can hurt her this time, where before it was you that was vulnerable. The shoe's on the other foot now."

"Paula, I'm just trying to find a way for us to be friends and to put the hurt behind us. I never stopped loving Billy but now it's just as a friend. She knows that and we can handle it that way. We'll be fine. Just good friends."

Paula gave a big sigh and got up to look out the window. My view was pretty spectacular. It looked out toward the downtown area and I had a good view of boat house row and the art museum. Rocky would have approved. She seemed to be struggling with something but she finally turned and smiled.

"Well, you're both grownups now so I'll just butt out. Just promise me you'll take care?"

"You have my word. Now go home. It's past time."

As Paula left, I wondered. Was I moving toward heartbreak and trouble again? Could I just take care as she asked? Had I forgiven Billy? Mark? I knew in my heart that the answer was no. I hadn't forgiven them. Well then, just look at it as a fling with a good looking woman who also happened to be an ex-wife and just have fun! I could do that.

Couldn't I?