All Comments on 'Billy Turns Tables on Step Sister Ch. 01'

Good read, now on to fucking mom and step sister together, turning them both into his sluts.

I loved it! Looking forward to part 2

Just ignore the 'Anonymous Trolls' who seems to take great pride in acting like idiots and hiding behind their Anonymous status. If they want to criticize you that way, why don't they put up their online names, so that we can read the crap they have probably written, or more likely yet, haven't written.

I wish literotica would get off there ass and make 'anonymous' comments no longer available.... Actually, you can set this option when you post your stories in the future.

This story has potential, and am looking forward to the next few chapters.

How can he go hiking in the mountains in NYC?

sister is his slut what about the step mom, she's in need of some action

I guess I could have been more clear that the story was set at the house in the Catskills. Thanks for reading.

"My Only Critique...

How can he go hiking in the mountains in NYC?"

really looking forward to the following chapters :D

If they carry on without protection he is very likely to be come a father, but I think you really meant 'farther'!

I need to shoot my proofreader! Who knows. Maybe a later chapter will go there!

I believe we need another chapter with the step mother getting in the show. Chapter 3 can be the daughter & the old man.

Apartment in NYC chopping wood......huh sure he was.

Hiking again in NYC

Need to figure out where your story takes place.

It seems an easy conclusion to say that it takes place at the cabin in the Catskills. Not that big of a deduction.

so time to delete and rewrite this PROPERLY using a GOOD EDITOR.

i enjoyed every bit of this story, cant wait to read the other chapters.

You managed a lot in a a very few words. Setting, relationship and sex. Very nice.

Critique: This story was from a few years back so you probably already know this but, i'll say it anyway. When you know your going to do multi-chapter short stories likes these you can almost burn that first chapter in establishing the cast, setting, and relationship. A slow build can make for a hotter story series, when you know you have a lot of room to play in the stories that follow. In this one I don't think you needed to go much beyond him getting caught masturbating with her panties. A full use of his imagination to "picture" the sex with her would have worked.

You could have even cliff-hangered the ending, Will the step-sister tell the parents? Tune in next week, same bat time, same bat channel.

Also in Incest it's startlingly enough often more the romance, between the couple, that can build the most heat. And given the category preferences of blood kin you really have to sell every shoe you have to drop to get reader interest with step family members.

As I said, very nice work. Ignore the comments on editing, but learn from them. Take from every comment (even this one) the wheat and let the dross fall. Nice story work.

MST

The turn about of control was a nice touch. And I like the pussy eating after cumming inside her. Although I do that as a show of how much I appreciate a woman, it is also lusty and exciting.

Well done, this was an enjoyable read. I'm not into eating a cum filled pussy, so I just ignored it. Sorry, but it's just me, that's how I feel. The rest was great and maybe a bit too fast and easy. But again still an enjoyable read.

I hope Emily gets hers.

Good writing.

Can’t wait to see where this goes.

Good premise.

Nice set-up. Needed more teasing by Carla before the tables were turned, and Billy took control. Needed some extended, detail-filled description of him teasing her a while, but not permitting her to cum.

The last paragraph, with a statement of what took place but no details ended the chpter on a sour note.

Four stars.

Not sure what makes it incest since they are not related by blood