All Comments on 'Birds of a Feather Ch. 01'

Congrats on your first LE submission!

I actually really liked this one as it was full of hot action while still sweet and fresh for the new lovers. There are however some errors that you need to polish out, like wrong adjectives, spelling, missing verbs & nouns, as well as missing quotations at the end of speech. Invest some time and effort in re-reading of the story or get help from site editors for the future.

In the end I give you a very solid 4* for the effort and hope to see more in the future.

If you're not making noise, you're Q-U-I-E-T, not quite. The opposite of ON is OFF, not of. Pick one, demon or daemon, don't use them interchangeably. After middle school comes high school, not hi school.

Your spelling distracts from a nice story.

If the story is really good I can overlook the spelling and your story was good - cute- sweet - ect.^ I laughed so hard that I cried and then I asked myself why I was crying..!* lol

Keep on writing and you will get better and I will read the whole time you write.*

I liked this, and look forward to more. Don't worry too much about the editing, it looks like there are gonna be editors enough...Just take what is said as suggestions and realize that there are a lot of folks out there who make better editors than writers. You are doing great...

I would like to thank everyone for their comments and suggestions. I'm well aware I need a lot of help with my editing. I have attempted to contact an Editor here but I have not had a reply as of yet. In the meantime, I will continue to do the best I can.

and lets have wild sex begin, TK U MLJ LV NV

Good beginning! Very hot!...But;

It's insulting the reader when you won't even bother to carefully read back over your writing and correct stupid or hasty mistakes. Editing isn't much fun. i dislike it too.

However it's part of the craft of wordsmithing and you need to do it. Get the gross errors tied down and you have a chance to attract an editor who's much better than we are.

Good luck.

You gave me a hard on. I've done some nasty shit, even ate my cum from my first wife, but I love the nasty talk which we didn't do. I did have a lover that loved to talk dirty and now I talk that way with everyone. Some like some don't. It goes like this...oh yeah baby your pussy is gonna suck the cum out of my cock, you're the best fuck ever I love your little tight hole. It's only mine to fuck. God your pussy is hot tonight pull that orgasm out of of my cock you little slut. Fuck me baby fuck me. I sucked off a guy friend a few times and loved telling him that his cock is so big, I love sucking your cock I'm your little slut. He had prostate cancer so has no cum but I still tell him "I want your cum I have to feel my mans cock pump it down my throat"!