All Comments on 'Birthday Surprise'

Keep writing.

Great start great possibilities. More soon please.

Well that was dumb on your part. To tease is one thing but to stop at the obvious is something entirely. Plus it will be a minimal 24hrssnto days weeks months years or not at all to the followup and especially me I lost interest 5 minutes later. The only stories that keep my interest are very well written and completed stories which yours is not.

great writing, excellent rhythm. Sort of frustrated that there wasn't more but hat's all for the better because ill be looking out for your piece of writing.

more please excellent start