All Comments on 'Black Friday at the Border Crossing'

Bad points then the good points.

BAD POINTS:

1. Another BBC (big black cock) fantasy.....to add to the 2 zillion that are already here. By the way, this website's forum has an interracial section. The black cock your writing about is SO BIG, that it overwhelms the incest of the two female cousins. Also part of the story sounds like they are giddy high school tramps out on a dark snake hunt, the other part of the story sounds like they can't stand dicks or are just into pain. Too undefined.

2. The verbal language from the women sounds like two 100% flannel shirt wearing, non-lipstick wearing, 18 wheeler driving, penis hating lesbians, a.k.a. bulldykes.

3. A black man in Montana??? PLEASE! PLEASE! Give that a second, long thought. Yes, african americans exist far north, but not very many (as most prefer the hot & humid climates), instead of the extremely frigid north where Montana's temperatures are sometimes as low of 0* F for a daytime high, and minus 20* F for a nightime low. Add many feet of snow to that. Your characters should have been at the Detroit Michigan U.S.A.-Windsor Ontario Canada border crossing at the Ambassador bridge. I personally know that there are plenty of black male/female border guards at the Detroit Customs side because I live in the area.

4. Way too short for a beginning chapter with far too little character development. It doesn't pull me into wanting to know more about them and their experience.

GOOD POINTS:

MONTANA, it's a beautiful state, but not the right location for this story unfortunately.

ONE STAR, very poor.

Writing in present tense is just dumb.

Take your time and develop YOUR story.