All Comments on 'Black Girl'

i thought this was wonderfully realistic and just lovely. thank you v much.

i really like this story ..please write part 2 now!

nice little story - wish it was me

I really enjoyed your story and her focus on healthy food so reminded me of myself. I may have to rethink my view on older men!

I really liked this. It was very sweet and simple. Definitely a pleasure to read and well deserving of your E. Congratulations, I hope to be reading more great stuff from you again.

but why was this story the editor's pick? Didn't really like. Therewas overuse of the word "too", particularly at the beginning, and the "fat, black, rolling her neck" stereotypical description didn't really do it for me. Hmmm.... maybe I'm just different...

but really nothing special.

I actually came very close to deleting this one because I was afraid someone would take offense at a stereotype.

Then it hit me. Black people really are black, they often really do do that odd shaking of the head bit when upset, usually the women. And I could have sworn I said "Big" rather than "fat." I guess I could just call the female character a...woman...but now how do I get it into the interracial section?

Yep, I overuse some words, commas, too. (heehee.) It gets me griped at by publishers all the time.

Still, a coveted "E" pick? Surprised me, too, (heehee) but I like it.

Thanks for the critique,

MGM

As a black woman I decided to reserve my judgement until after I had completely read the story and I'm very glad I did. I'm from NYC and grew up in the projects in the Bronx and I can't stand to see a black woman roll her neck and suck her teeth when trying to express herself because I was always taught there are other ways of expressing yourself. However, I had to take a step back and look at my girlfriends of color and some extended family members and I see that yes they still do this even though they are very well educated and this has been excepted by me without my own knowledge. We also eat very well and more naturally that a lot of people think so thank you for acknowledging that. Your story was very touching and very on point. We are very diversified people and if Danny turned Tania's head than he must be as yummy as he sounds. I say this because we also seem to be our own worst critics. Bravo keep up the good work.

I really liked this tale. This is the way real people act. I get so tired of the black man / white woman stories where the guy treats the woman like crap. That never seems to happen when the characters are reversed. I wonder why? Thanks for the good read...

.....great story from the metaphorical quill of magmaman.Great insight and observation makes this a pleasure to read.A bonus to myself, is the subtle humour and self demeaning way danny sees himself.Only slight gripe is the ease of which a churchgoing widower gave herself to a man twice her age.Still worth the E, even though the time of year seems to dictate the quality of submissions on the site.

andyd46uk

This story was written & presented very well and i am anxiously awaiting part 2 to it to see if this relationship with danny and tania goes any further or if he falls for tanias younger sister sara

As a fan of white male/black female stories, I must say I enjoyed this story. Some may be offended by the use of the head rolling, hands on her hips, black woman with an attitude stereotype, but I think that it added realism to the story. I would like to read a part two of this story, and see what happens with Tania's sister. Can Danny resist her?

Your story reads like it could be true. That's the first sign of a good writer; whether it's true or not. Unlike most stories I read here: I hope your story actually IS true. That's a curious feeling for me. Thank you. Ron

You really made the characters come alive. A refreshing change from some of the stories here - excellent! Eagerly awaiting part two.

I gave it a 75 because the writing is a bit better than most of the content on this site; however, the overuse of the word 'too' at the beginning was a bit distracting. I initially read this story because it was the editor's pick but am slightly confused as to why. While the writing was better than average the characters were somewhat contrived and the sex scenes weren't very descriptive or erotic. *shrugs* To each his own.

"Then it hit me. Black people really are black, they often really do do that odd shaking of the head bit when upset, usually the women."

The reason that the commenter who posted under the "Downer" made the comment about the stereotype was because this presentation of "Blackness" is incredibly limited, is in no way universal or original and suggest limited interaction with Blacks and Black women, besides an occasional "In Living Color" or "Martin" episode that is probably the result of channel surfing and/or late night television. I mean, seriously, I have not seen anyone roll their neck since 1995. For example,: As I turned to walk away Marsha looked at me, her face contorted, and uttered "As if." While I am not going to attest to the capabilities or originality of authors on this site, I would hope that they would strive to understand and develop their characters experiences of white womanhood as more than a line from a teen flick.

That being said, when reading the piece I assumed that the author was attempting to convey the antagonist limited interaction with Blacks. Perhaps my reading assumed an eloquence that is somewhat misplaced. *shurgs*

THIS IS A VERY, VERY GOOD FOUNDATION FOR A MULTI

CHAPTER STORY.

LOVE YOUR STYLE. PLEASE CONSIDER EXTENDING THIS.

YOUR FAN, BRAD

I find the variations in response to this little story very likely to be the most interesting of any I have ever posted.

Most stories are based at least partially in truth, even if the truth is just a fantasy. In this case, my own real world experience with peoples of other races is limited.

I know just two men that are African and I like them both. The female character "Tania" was patterned after one African lady that I also know. She is a nurse and is always on me about foods I eat. Now if she gets upset and into her "telling someone off" mode, she does exactly that little head bobbing back and forth bit.

I have seen that many times with others, actually also caucasion in scenarios like court TV where disagreement or upset is common but more often with blacks.

Yes, a sterotype, but also a true observation. I may do a second chapter, my worry is that very likely my limited talents just might end up with the entire theme headed downhill.

I can't explain how I actually BECOME the person I am writing about, but when I do it runs out onto the screen. Right now I am a rancher, doing a piece about a wild woman that so far I think just sucks...LOL...I will perhaps get back to this, who knows?

Thanks for the comments, I enjoyed all of them, especially the critiques on overuse of words. Something to work on there.

MGM

I enjoyed this story. Would love to see what kind of trouble Sara can cause.

As a white man I can find black women beautiful, they do not have to be these skinny stringbeans either, fantastic story.

Thank you for giving a romantic story where there is a white guy and a black woman instead of the usual.

Besides it's is a very good start to a great romance

Beautiful story..this sister UGH gettin on my nerves with that call

I love this hope u write more!

Liked it very much, seems very plausible. I enjoy erotic stories, but so many errotic are obviously total fantasies and most situations described stretch the imagination, or are to say the least somewhat exagerated. It is nice to find one that is so straight forward and totally believable.

I was reading your story and was taken aback when you noted that the woman was "bobbing her head back and forth like African Americans do when they are upset," that is a senseless generalization (or stereotype) that is mundane. You could have easily said that "she bobbed her head back and forth obviously upset," however, you seem to be quite an inexperienced writing when it comes to noting details. No one likes generalizations, so I would suggest you avoid. It also makes the story more pleasant when you use your imagination to write without relying on stereotypes to create profiles for your characters.

"bobbing her head back and forth." that is one of the things black people do. strange that the illusive 12 inch black cock in the white wimps black loving slut wife is ok but head bobbing, well that is just offensive. made me laugh. loved the story.

I liked the story. The only part that got me was the sister at the end. I know for damn sure that would have NOT gone down! Over all good read.

The only reason you're so offended is because y'all actually do that "bobbing thing" but I think he's referring to the way we roll our necks. Honestly I found it funny because I talk that way all the time. Great story btw!

but I think Sara was only testing to see what kind of guy he is before her sister seeks a committed relationship with him. Enjoyed the story.

i agree with the last comment and i hope there will be more to this story

...and realistic in many ways. I particularly like the fact that Dan isn't an older man in a younger man's body, by which I mean he's not made out to be a stud. He's just a regular middle-aged guy, with the physical issues they deal with, who manages to get it up enough not only to receive pleasure more than once, but to give it in equal measure! I also love the idea of an older guy being attractive to a younger woman, as opposed to the usual stereotype.

It's interesting to note, though, how many people commented, some angrily it seemed, on Tania's head movement, but no one seemed at all concerned about the swiftness with which she opened her body to a virtual stranger, and with her son in the house. That's what I find...troublesome, to say the least. And that's the reason I didn't give this a 5-star rating. It fell down in the "reality" department there, as far as I am concerned.

This is the second story I've read about an interracial couple in which the black woman is portrayed as being "easy", accepting of her sexuality (which is good), but willing, indeed eager, to hop into bed with very little prior acquaintance with the lover. That is far more troubling to me than whether or not she has that head thing down.

This the start of what may very well be a really great tale.....Needs MORE!

I have been thinking of trying to write some more, it's been quite awhile. This is one of those that I think could use more chapters.

Dealing with life since Debra passed away has been difficult. She was a Doctor, so likely that can be figured out. When she fell ill, no one had a clue of what in the hell was happening. I tested positive also, but zero symptoms, go figure?

The Doctors tell me I am one of the lucky ones, I am not so sure of that.

Thanks,

MGM

The only oddity is age difference. Black women are some of the most beautiful.

I think it was a good story. Like most everyone else I think it needs more chapters. As a white man married to a well educated beautiful black woman I thought the hands on the hips head bob was pretty funny and so did she.

Enjoyed the story a lot. Should be more chapters . AAAAAAA+++++++