by KEVGOW
w/o a name he knows nothing but bitching.
It was fun to read,and I would think that the twins, would be closer to each other, than the olded brother.It could be that the older brother, could fuck his mother,while the twins are becomming a sexual couple......Rich
A little awkward reading about 18 year-olds who had never seen pictures of, or been made aware of, the function or the purpose of sexual intercourse or even whether or not the act of oral sex could make the woman pregnant, especially in this day and age. I think in order to include these statements in your story and make us believe you are truly speaking of legal-aged adults here, you should have indicated at the beginning, that your story was set in the 40's or 50's, during the age of innocence, (lol), or that these characters were Quakers or Mormons, or raised in some such strict and devoutly religious sect, where such thoughts were not spoken about, and television or radio shows not watched or listened to, and thus sinfully delicious. Still, as I said, a very sexy and erotic story.
This is a very good story I would love it if you did some more with it.
Ok, the cutesy naive talk? That needs to go away. Annoying, and, unless they're Amish, not very likely. They're talking like their 8 years old.
Please, don't do that.
gotta level with you here, mate. this was creepy. not the incest. the part where they were talking like new york hotdog vendors.
Please stop writing. Your writing sucks. Thank you in advance.
I grant that you intended and succeeded in making your characters juvenile, but your writing is not supposed to be.
Please stop writing. Everyone in the world who can read will thank you.
This was, frankly quite poorly written and more than a touch disturbing. The dialogue was juvenile both in style and in wording, which led to a confusing and creepy feeling that the characters were closer to 9 than 18.
Average brother and sister sex. No need to continue. My twin sister and I did this for several years (6), from 11 to 16, was quite fun. As usual started with touchy-feely stuff on to a finger fuck and hand job, then oral sex, and then intercorse. Needs lots of proof reading and editing.
I really like the true incest rather than the pseudo-incest ie. step-sister, step-mother, etc. I also like the questionable consent angle. Subtle but enough to give it a soft edge but and edge, nonetheless :)