All Comments on 'Blood and Iron Ch. 05'

Love your writng! Your voice is like the finest wine. Enjoyed this story, thank you.

I really struggled with this last chapter. Took quite a lot longer than I wanted, kept getting bogged down in how to say things, erasing big chunks and starting over...I think part of the problem is that I didn't originally intend the story to go on quite so long. As I originally conceived it, the story ended in their first night back on the trail after Las Cintas, when she tells him that she's not going to kill him, and he responds with "You got too soft a heart, little rose." That was pretty much a defining moment for the story as I saw it, really captured and crystallized much of the emotional development that occurred. Allowed a true reunion.

But I knew that wouldn't be a satisfying ending for most people - for one thing, it would mean there would be no real sexual contact in the story between them, and I was already pushing it a bit with how little I have. I considered (and in one draft, tried) having them make love right there, but it was frankly too abrupt; the characters as established simply didn't permit it. So, I had to add on a lot. Bring back Jack, who was originally going to be just that one-note character at the beginning, have them save each other, have a chapter or so of declining resistance before James can bridge the gap between guilty peeping and actually having sex with his daughter. While still having Alice be the one to push things forward, of course - her relentless devotion is pretty much the centerpiece of the story. The later chapters turned out...well, okay, I guess. But a reader may notice that emotionally speaking, Alice and James are in something of a holding pattern with respect to one another throughout them.

Waiting for the final chapter was similar to waiting to find out who shot J.R.

With respect to your work, the wait was more than rewarded by the quality and lyrical resonance of your story. I hope your passion for writing will result in more submissions in the future.

Thanks again !

This is the first story of your writing that I've read, and it looks like the last in this series. An excellent story told in an excellent manner. I even got a tingle from it, but what I liked the best was your description of the emotions running rampant (pun intended) thru the narrative.

I enjoyed your story very much.

Thanks for this wonderful tale. We rarely get stories of such scope on Literotica (especially in this category), and then your narrative voice adds to the treat. I waited an eternity for this last chapter and you did it justice.

I appreciate the praise, Sapheron. I remember reading and enjoying your story, "Eli's Awakening," some while ago.

You created an achingly lovely and sexy exploration of the dilemma and choice that they made. Excellent job! Thank you for sharing it.

Not sure what else there is to say beyond that. Except to pay a compliment: you should consider going mainstream. You're that good.

I have no words. This is such a beautiful story. I hope they really had happy life together. Your writing reminds me Lisa Valdez's Passion I read recently. Brings tears to my eyes.

You're welcome. I'm glad that you enjoyed it. :)

just read all 5 chapters and 5 stars all the way on each and every one of them. this series is a must read.

Thank you. This is actually the story, series, whatever that I've written that I think is best. I messed up the scene where he peeks on her in the bath, the writing gets quite a bit too...purple there, I guess, but aside from that, I'm rather happy with how it turned out.

Awed is an understatement for your writing abilities. I have found few others who write as well. The story was excellent. I too read all chapters but over a period of two weeks. This allowed me to anxiously anticipate the next reading session.

Again, great writing and an excellent story. Bring on some more.

grk

Someone who doesn't just jump to sex!

This my kind sir, was outstanding, and I thank you for it

You know how to introduce characters, flesh them out and make them come alive, all the while superimposing this on an emotional roller coaster ride. I can honestly say this story should be rated one of, if not THE highest rated story on this site.

I say, with all due humility, thank you for your writing.

God ..!!..just fantastic... sheer poetry ..each and every word weaves an aura of love , passion , ache , pain which can only be caused out of intense love the daughter has for her father..... even the sex between them is a beautifullly narrated encounter of their expression of extreme happiness , pleasure and bliss which they get from each other .... one of the best story ever in this site ....

whirlwin_66 said it all! You are a truly talented Author and writer!

These stories are simply wonderful and heartwarming. This writer can write and we're the lucky recipients of his talent.

Possibly not something that anyone would expect to read on a literotica story comment! This one blew me away. It ticked all the obvious boxes. Sexy: yes. Forbidden: yes. Father/Daughter, yes. Then ticked the more special boxes. Writing skills equalling that of the most world wide renowned writers: yes. Thinking outside the box: hell yes! Then it ticked my favourite box.... Actually a fantastic tear jerking romance story interwoven with all the other trimmings that make for spectacular story worlds: UBER yes.

Well rounded characters, looking at the reason we feel desire and how to let go of convention... dude I could go on and on about this particular story xD Just keep on writing and I'll be a happy commenter lol xxxxxx lots of love and respect - Danielle xxxxxxx

I'm glad to hear you like it, Danielle. :)

As I saw someone else comment on one of your other stories, you're ruining us with the quality of your stories in this genre for anyone else.

While there were times when the narration dragged on a bit, especially those bits with James' regrets, it was still a beautifully crafted story.

Loved it.

This is absolutely one of the best stories of your work, and on this site. I almost kept my breath reading it, although that is not quitly true, because then i would not be able to write this comment.

And then you should know i was hesitating on this particular story because i am not into westerns at all, but after reading all of your work I went back to the main site to find something good but came empty handed... so i thought, wel maybe I should give it a go... it took me the first 2 paragraphs to be completely enchanted, you, sir, or madam, can seriously write, a talent I envy but also very much enjoy.

I really hope you will submit more someday... but anyway, that what you have allready submitted is of a value unseen at Literotica, Thank you

Amazing ending.