All Comments on 'Blueprints Ch. 03'

Truly, truly excellent. Can't wait to read what you come up with next!

I have been reading blueprints and i love it. The slow build up into steamy parts is just great.

I even found myself liking the spanking bit.

Very well written and a good length of story with the right mix of character plot and sex. I eagerly await to see what you write next .

...Joanna is. Hot and cold, hard and soft---she'd make a first-rate interrogator all by herself, good cop, bad cop. What Joanna needs is some real hard case to come down on her like a thunderbolt but that won't happen. The Joannas of this world are like predators, able to single out the weakest in the herd and avoid the more dominant. So, TB, it says a lot for your developing skill as a writer that you can make one of your main characters so unlikable and yet not deter the reader. I'll wait with interest to see what you come up with next.

Oh Joanna is so mmmmmm! Love the slow build up and climatic end!!

I did not care for this story, it started out good but Joanna seemed to me to be too bossy

I'm hooked.

Just perfect. You had me hooked with the little tick marks in the notebook, and then you reeled me in at the end. Zara's a very brave girl. As much as I know Joanna respects her limits, it was really intense!

If you continue, you need to write from Joanna's perspective. Some of the best stories I've ever read has two perspectives

Although there was a hint of the way this relationship might blossom in the first two chapters, it was taken to a different level here. The exploration of the psyche of both sides of a d/s relationship shows the author has either experienced this or has a great empathy with its nature. I found myself not wanting the chapter to end and I am curious to read (and hope) Joanna and Zara can build an exquisite relationship both in and out of bed.

Your writing is sublime. I'm struggling for words to express how much I'm enjoying this story. You've rendered me a babbling fan girl. All I can do is implore you to continue as soon as possible. Please!

The best story I’ve read on this site. Please continue, perhaps in Joanna’s perspective. Thanks for posting.

Thank you for all the encouraging and constructive comments. I will write from Joanna’s perspective in a later chapter (five or six). Currently working on Chapter 04...

That was hooooooot! And sweet! Damn, way to go girl! I'd like to hear more of your stories and more of Joanna and Zara's story, pretty please?

I spent I don't know how long reading all the chapters and I love your story!! It's fantastic. Hope you do right more xx

I love the balance between sex scenes and character and relationship development. I'd really love to read more of your work, either about these two, or other storylines.

Thank you for sharing this marvelous work. I've really enjoyed reading it. Would love to read more about from Joanna's perspective. Thank you!!

Your work is some of the best I’ve had the pleasure to read! Wonderful characters, I am loving the story, and so HOT 🔥

Dying for an update. This story is so HOT!

Just caught up on this now. Wow! Such wonderful, nuanced characters. I think I'm in love with Zara and in lust with Joanna!! Can't wait to see where this goes.

Desperate for an update to this story....so anxious to see how things unfold. Best story I've read in forever!

The next instalment will be up soon. Apologies it’s taking so long; thanks for your encouragement and patience.

....to hear a new chapter is imminent! This was recommened to me and knocked my socks off. Count me as a member of your fan club. I, too, am nursing a crush on Zara (when I'm not lusting after Joanna). Looking forward to much more from you.

What a brilliantly written piece that kept up its pace all the way through. The only problem for me was I could not put it down which meant I will have be careful in future when I start reading further instalments. Must get some sleep sometime 😊

I am enjoying your writing, especially the inner thoughts and feelings of our protagonist.

Often, I find the dialogue difficult to determine who is speaking due to the lack of: I said, he said, etc. The famous author, Elmore Leonard, recommended to make it clear who was speaking. I share his opinion as many novels have long lengths of dialogue where I literally have to count through the verbal exchange to determine who is talking. I suppose that many feel it's "cool" to omit the 'saids' but it is very uncool to force the reader out of the story to figure out who is talking. There are New York Times big authors making this faux pas so... blame it on the editing.

Your verbal exchanges aren't that long and you do a wonderful job of adding narration...example: The character stretches, "So Bob, tell me about those burgers..." That works well. Perhaps it's this website's formatting, but many times there is a character narrating, then dialogue follows in a new sentence without showing who is talking.

One example: "But why the preference for refurbishment? I thought the drive was towards these huge glass-" I don't know who is talking here. It's not very clear so I have to reread the previous paragraph to make a determination.

Thanks

UnderworldWriter

Powerfully erotic from a quality writer.

Amazing writer you are, set up a story with believable characters, erotic as hell. Love the dialogues and thejumps.just found it and bingeread it. Still the fourth part to go now, before my kids wake I hope. Thank you

My pleasure