All Comments on 'Born from the Ashes'

I just started writing stories myself so I understand why you need the feedback. Having said that you need to know that a good editor is vital and cannot be replaced by comments which you may or not get after the story is posted. Apart from that people can get very toxic in their comments if the don't like something.

I am not a big fan of werewolf stories so I have to state this bias.

The first part of the story was interesting. The second was cliche and not needed in my opinion.

What were you trying to do with the second part?

To let us know that he was a werewolf? Since we are in the non-human part of literotica and his name was Lycan I think that everyone suspected that.

To introduce as to other characters like Rebecca or Marcellus (that dies on the first chapter)?

I would rather learn all that as the boy's story unravels.

As for the first part, my first concern is with the M.P. age. He is 15years old and I hope that you don't plan any sex scenes with him at this age. Are we going to wait for him to turn 18+?

For a person that spent so much time in prison with no contact from other humans he must have being in a very weird psychological state (Crazy or wild). I want to know about that and his feelings.

How would he be able to talk and call for help? Who taught him to speak?

You write that the door was "made up of iron like everything else in the place". What does this mean? The whole tower was made of iron or what else made from iron?

The last thing is the language. I am not native in the English language so I really struggle with this issue and an editor is really helpful.

Your language was good enough for me to read the story and understand it but I will give people more of chance with language than native speakers. I believe you need an editor to polish the language a bit.

I gave you a three stars ranking. Part of the story was interesting and you can certainly improve.

Please continue.

Thanks, for comments.

Nargataula i would like to tell u that this is a long story, so have patience, you will get to know about each and every character. Second thing, not every story and every character of the story has to have sex, wait for it you will get loads of sex to enjoy. Have patience. And it's a lighthouse, made of concrete. Rest assured about the boy, he will amaze u.

So Lycan is the main character but only the side characters will have sex?

That's strange but it would be interesting to read if you pull it through.

Can't wait to see where you go with this.

Be very very careful what titles you use and "phrases."

Not rating due to I'm a big fan of Jaz's.

Masterskitten

I am a big fan as well. Jaz is undoubtedly the best. It's not related to him, at all. Sorry if i hurt your feelings.

K

Isn't there another writer by the name "Mygypsy"?

You need to make your stories longer.

Yes, there is mygypsy as well.... And i promise next one will be longer, .