All Comments on 'Bound Together Ch. 02'

The story has promise, I want to thank you for crafting it for us to read. This shows some great potential yet there are leaps of logic that need to be explained and a few slower sections need to be thinned down... I am not a spelling or grammar fanatic as long as I can follow the plot line I am happy.

So with a little editing having someone proof read it and help you get it going dow the right path I think you will have a masterpiece here

This is fun to read and is moving at a good pace. Please continue. Don't worry too much about the grammar; it isn't that bad. If I paid for the writing, I might complain about the grammar. But I did not pay for the story, so who cares. A good story will overcome minor defects in grammar. I know how hard it is to write correctly. I would rather you focus on the tale, than verb/noun agreement.

Oh yeah, the next time someone complains about your grammar, ask them to be your editor.

Chapter 1 was short and worked that way. Chapter 2 a bit longer but needed more depth. I can understand that Cane would not divulge a great deal of information to a new student but I would think he would offer some comfort or peace of mind to a new person. Wouldn't Alex have asked "Am I in danger?" comes to mind. You gave more definition to the description of the library than Alex's meeting with Cane.

Description and depth are important but pick your areas for greater depth - you can't give equal depth to everything - "Alex found a handkerchief; it was white linen, of decent quality, unused and lightly ironed" - is a bit more than we need to know about a found handkerchief... unless there is some special purpose to this handkerchief and we, the readers, need that level of depth. Sometimes "Alex found a handkerchief" is enough. The description of the library would be more valid if Alex were beginning some research and not just passing through.

You are telling a story; tell it as you would just talking with us face to face. If it's pertinent to the story, expand. If not, leave it out. "A cloud passed before the face of the sun." Is it needed? Could be - probably isn't if it's just tossed in. Don't make the mistake of believing something written early in the story will be remembered later - most post "chapters" weeks, months or even years apart. Yours are not the only stories read; people will not remember. It's your story and will remain fresh in your mind, not in ours.

Again, you are doing much better than you gave yourself credit for in your intro. The past two comments were favorable (as is this one, believe it or not).

Take all criticisms to heart. Many will NOT be valid, but consider "how did the reader get that impression? Did I make something less than clear? Are several people seeing this the same way?" - generally if it's just one person, the person is a dick head. You understand your story and your meanings/intentions - others may not.

Look at the poster - are they a writer? I've noticed that most commenters are NOT writers themselves. Easy to criticize someone else from your armchair with no skill of your own. That being said, they DO know what they like. You will not please everyone and shouldn't even try. Write for yourself but keep your audience in mind if you plan on posting your work. Don't let the bastards keep your down.

When you start something, finish it! There are too damn many stories on this site that are unfinished even after years. That shows a total disregard for your readers, lack of personal integrity and a person who is a quitter and will never amount to anything. They will always find an excuse (not a reason) to quit.

If you get a low score on a chapter, don't worry about it. Not all can be winners. Sometimes you need a "stinker" to carry you through to the next chapter with the meat and potatoes. You can make one chapter longer and include that stuff, rewrite the stinker chapter or just accept it and move on. Even as great as Mark Twain's book "Huckleberry Finn" was, sometimes they were just sitting on their butts floating on a raft - it can't all be exciting. That's why authors just leave things out and why they edit movies.

Hope this helps. Keep writing and I look forward to your next installment.

Are you going to be writing any more of this story or are you going to let it die here?