Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.
You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.
Click here
It took me a bit to process what Cane had just revealed. After my brain took enough time to decipher what was said I blurted out. "What?! No affinity with magic? Me? But I'm pretty sure you said you felt something from me when we met on the bridge."
Cane drank the rest of the tea and settled back into his chair. "Well to be honest, I wasn't actually hunting for students at that time. I was following a lead on a magical tome that had been uncovered in a crypt when I heard your shout of pain. On a whim I peeked to see you and felt some magic, I guess it came from the sword linking to you subconsciously. Also while the other principals and I knew of the tale, searching every single non-magic person would be a hassle we quickly just looked for those with budding talent. And while the tale describes you as having the potential to great power, it doesn't tell of what exactly are your strengths if there are any. From what I had gathered, most of your power is dependent on the bond to the Queens. This is all speculation of course since I have no experience with this happening myself. I'll see if I can have your classes changed to focus more on physical training and knowledge rather than magic for now."
Crumpling into the chair, drained of my previous enthusiasm of the other day. I was glad that I wasn't completely useless in this new world, however the expectation to wield magic was exciting. Absent mindedly scratching Ember's head, I tried to sort out the chaos that swarmed my thoughts. While it was disappointing to not be able to use magic, I was in this world now and I would make the be at of it I could. Sorting out my priorities, I first would need to train my body to better utilize a sword. Second I need to gather any information about the Elemental Queens and Razirq without arousing too much attention. Lastly is trying to gather skills necessary to get the other two relics. Grasping the teacup I drank the cooled tea to the last drop. "Thank you for the information, I have a lot to think about and absolutely do not regret coming to this school. Now if you'll excuse me I would like to go to my room and rest, this trip ended up being quite more tiring than I had expected."
"Of course, should you have any more concerns do not hesitate to contact Walter as my schedule can be hectic at times." Getting up from his desk, Cane came over to my seat. "Before you leave though, let me release one of the locks on Ember." With a very rapid amount of drawing done on the air, a circle with thousands of tiny runes appeared in front of Ember's head. Finished, Cane walked back to his chair and witg a loud snapping noise the circle shattered and disappeared without a trace.
"What was that just now?!" I couldn't tell if anything had changed at that moment. I wasn't even sure if what had happened actually happened.
Sitting back down, Cane rested back in the chair. "I have just released one of the locks set on Ember, specifically the relic which contains her essence. There are three locks in total which prevent the misuse of any power by the student as well as protect the student from any backlash since they have not grown into their relic's potential. Usually there is a period of time, about a week, before the first lock is released since students will usually have some talent on their own. In your case however I have decided to give you a little grace period before the school starts up. The other locks are released based on my digression or when the student has successfully passed their schooling to take the next level. Some students progress quickly while others take more time, I care not how fast one grows however their growth is still important. Take this time and train with Ember there. Off you go, I have things I must get done."
Thanking Cane, I walked out with Ember padding along right in front of me. Walking outside the sky is beginning to darken. 'Huh, I was in there much longer than I expected.' Heading towards the dorms I didn't come across anyone and ended up by my room after a few minutes. Inside, I removed my jacket and lied down on the bed, mentally exhausted. Crawling onto my stomach, Ember purred contently.
*So, I have regained a little more of my memories and power. I'm sure you must have questions, and I'll answer them to the best of my ability.*
"I guess, but I'm pretty tired right now. To be honest I think I could sleep all tomorrow too heh." Smiling, I looked at the ceiling. "Thank you for choosing someone like me, despite everything that may happen I don't regret having met you."
*I didn't choose someone like you, I choose you and you alone because I knew you were one of the most kindhearted and virtuous souls that I've met in a long time. And knowing that it's you, I'm sure we can retrieve my sisters as well, for whatever may face us.*
Fatigue had begun to set in and my eyes were closing on their own. "Well we are bound together after all."
- COMMENTS
TIGERWOLFSTORMabout 5 years agoAre you going to be writing any more of this story or are you going to let it die here?
Anonymousabout 9 years agoChapter 1 was short and worked that way. Chapter 2 a bit longer but needed more depth. I can understand that Cane would not divulge a great deal of information to a new student but I would think he would offer some comfort or peace of mind to a new person. Wouldn't Alex have asked "Am I in danger?" comes to mind. You gave more definition to the description of the library than Alex's meeting with Cane.
Description and depth are important but pick your areas for greater depth - you can't give equal depth to everything - "Alex found a handkerchief; it was white linen, of decent quality, unused and lightly ironed" - is a bit more than we need to know about a found handkerchief... unless there is some special purpose to this handkerchief and we, the readers, need that level of depth. Sometimes "Alex found a handkerchief" is enough. The description of the library would be more valid if Alex were beginning some research and not just passing through.
You are telling a story; tell it as you would just talking with us face to face. If it's pertinent to the story, expand. If not, leave it out. "A cloud passed before the face of the sun." Is it needed? Could be - probably isn't if it's just tossed in. Don't make the mistake of believing something written early in the story will be remembered later - most post "chapters" weeks, months or even years apart. Yours are not the only stories read; people will not remember. It's your story and will remain fresh in your mind, not in ours.
Again, you are doing much better than you gave yourself credit for in your intro. The past two comments were favorable (as is this one, believe it or not).
Take all criticisms to heart. Many will NOT be valid, but consider "how did the reader get that impression? Did I make something less than clear? Are several people seeing this the same way?" - generally if it's just one person, the person is a dick head. You understand your story and your meanings/intentions - others may not.
Look at the poster - are they a writer? I've noticed that most commenters are NOT writers themselves. Easy to criticize someone else from your armchair with no skill of your own. That being said, they DO know what they like. You will not please everyone and shouldn't even try. Write for yourself but keep your audience in mind if you plan on posting your work. Don't let the bastards keep your down.
When you start something, finish it! There are too damn many stories on this site that are unfinished even after years. That shows a total disregard for your readers, lack of personal integrity and a person who is a quitter and will never amount to anything. They will always find an excuse (not a reason) to quit.
If you get a low score on a chapter, don't worry about it. Not all can be winners. Sometimes you need a "stinker" to carry you through to the next chapter with the meat and potatoes. You can make one chapter longer and include that stuff, rewrite the stinker chapter or just accept it and move on. Even as great as Mark Twain's book "Huckleberry Finn" was, sometimes they were just sitting on their butts floating on a raft - it can't all be exciting. That's why authors just leave things out and why they edit movies.
Hope this helps. Keep writing and I look forward to your next installment.
Anonymousabout 9 years agoThis is fun to read and is moving at a good pace. Please continue. Don't worry too much about the grammar; it isn't that bad. If I paid for the writing, I might complain about the grammar. But I did not pay for the story, so who cares. A good story will overcome minor defects in grammar. I know how hard it is to write correctly. I would rather you focus on the tale, than verb/noun agreement.
Oh yeah, the next time someone complains about your grammar, ask them to be your editor.
MaXX1969about 9 years agoThe story has promise, I want to thank you for crafting it for us to read. This shows some great potential yet there are leaps of logic that need to be explained and a few slower sections need to be thinned down... I am not a spelling or grammar fanatic as long as I can follow the plot line I am happy.
So with a little editing having someone proof read it and help you get it going dow the right path I think you will have a masterpiece here
