All Comments on 'Bountiful Barrens Ch. 01'

Definitely want to give it a good one-over before you post it on the website. Whenever 'Himself' would've been used, I saw a 'Myself'. Letting a story rest for a while, then coming back to edit it is a fairly good idea, I find.

Roland's cock stirred and he adjusted myself ...

that's so delightfully grammatically wrong it almost adds a touch of reality to the story. Remember - he was hit on the head. So a confused mind and blurry sight and narration are understandable.

What comes next ?

I really like dude! Keep goin!

You need to put some work in the way you are writing. There are parts that do confuse as another person said. Like when you went from ''himself'' to ''myself'' it makes things hard to follow. But other than that you have a good idea and start for this story.

Regardless of what direction you take it, I'm eager to see more.

I enjoyed the story, but I would have preferred it non-warcraft. Also some grammar issues as others have said, but no big deal. Thumbs up.

i like this chapter it was a bit short but i think it was well-written! hope we see more chapters!

Thank you so very much for sharing your talented story.