All Comments on 'Brad's Sister'

Just stop, OK?

I like slow paced stories with good build up but man that was brutal. I was really hoping at some point Brad would get to fuck her at least get something out of her. I liked it to a point but I would speed it up a little.

Yeah, it dragged on some, but it was realistic, it felt real.

crap

Could be a little faster paced and the anger issues are confusing, but really good overall!

Well, I for one really enjoyed it.

It was definitely a HOT one!

Good job, Trace!

Great erotic story! Seems real & believable. Dick

You have a knack for catching that certain intangible. Those curtains were an interesting opening. Really liked the closing statement as it made a reader, me, look forward to more.

The Good: Slow-moving story or not, Ashley is hot as hell. And I don't mind the build-up anyway. Works for me. Besides, I'm a sucker for a naked or panty-clad woman in a men's unbuttoned dress shirt, and I love the way she unbuttons her skirts for attention/easy access.

The Bad: The names kept changing, especially on page eight. When Ashley was dancing with Jarrad, the omnipotent narrator kept referring to him as Brad. There were a decent number of punctuation typos, as well. Definitely want to proofread these things a bit more before submitting them. Also, I agree with the previous comment regarding Ashley's inexplicable flashes of anger, and her all-over-the-map mood swings in general. Towards that same end, a little explanation as to why Ashley seemingly turned on a dime from Miss Cautious That Didn't Want Anyone To Be Able To Invade Her Privacy at the beginning of the story to Miss I Want To Strip Naked For My Brother And His Friends just a half-page later would be helpful. Lastly, there is almost no physical description of any of the characters. I just read nine pages about these sibling twins and I still haven't the slightest clue as to how either of them look.

There Ain't No Ugly: This one is chock full of sexy potential, and the author knows how to paint a properly provocative picture.

Wow! I did get those names mixed up. On page eight I found two cases of Brad being used when it should have been Jarrad. Am I still missing some?

Great story.

wow wow wow!!!!!!!!!!

Way too long

Lost interest