All Comments on 'Breakfast'

I have the general genetic revulsion that is typical with related folks, but I really liked this story. It seemed natural which is a test for me and what I read. There were a few mothers while I grew up I would love to have this with! Keep it up.

RS

Why do you write in present tense? That's a horse shit way to write and most *good* authors on here would tell you not to.

most writers might...and I would say thank you and continue to write in the style that I like and am comfortable with.

It's moment by moment, second by second and has an in your face style that I enjoy reading. YOU don't know what's going to happen.

I have done stories in the past tense, they just don't sound right too me. If the narration is first person ( which I also like) then there is no drama to a past tense story. YOU know he lived through whatever is happening.

There is a bias against first person present tense that I don't understand. I hear the comments it's hard to read and I just don't see that. I don't know. It might have some thing to do with creative writing classes passing on style prejudice from an older generation of English standards. But then that is a guess based on comments I've read.

in the end though I write this way because I enjoy this style. Both from the reading and writing stand point.

Writers all find a voice and style they like, till someone is paying me to do it different this is mine.

thanks for the comments

M.S.Tarot

Great story, well done. I wonder how good these anonymous writers are. We know they can criticize very well.

great story and i enjoyed your style, i write technical manuals and how to articles. i have tried erotica and it just won't flow for me so i gave up. hope you continue and enjoy writing for yourself if for nobody else.

I really loved this one. Wish you would write a follow-up. I enjoy your style of story telling.

Well done! Your story develops smoothly, naturally and lovingly. Not many people can do this. I am happy to note that your story bears no resemblance to porn scripts as so many other stories do. BUT - please edit your work as some errors are pretty distracting. As far as the point of view, you should use the one that makes you comfortable. If any readers do not like your first person approach they can stop reading. Please, continue...

That surely was fun and pure joy for the pair of them and best of all they seemed real people, no 44DD or 9 + inchers, and they got away with deepest loving.

A hot and erotic storyline and a well written story, but I wish that he had the time to have sex with his mom and fill her with his cum.

Thanks for the read.

This is totally one more sensual and lovingly exotic tale of a long, endeared love, of the most beautiful kind, between a son and his mother. Their love NEVER dies, not even during the life of the survivor!!

The ultimate love, the mother and son, whether incestual or plutonic, is the essence of life's most purest emotions; when the incestual aspects become part of the ingredients that make up the Eden of Love of incestual love, nothing in God's Universe is so heavenly pleasant nor pleasured.

Forget the naysayers!! They're sort of like cockroaches, they are always around, always an annoyance and you sure as hell can't get rid of them! They just have to accepted for what they are!

I expected more action than a pie -dive after all that buildup,but to each their own.

Yes his mother should have carried her sons seed around with her for a few days

This is a wonderful story of love between a son and his mother . A second chapter of love and sexual fulfillment between them for the rest of her days would bring more beauty to a great story . Don't let the son or the mother suffer through the rest of their lives thinking of what could have been . Looking forward to more love between mother and her son .

i have never been so aroused in my entire life!

the spontaneous seduction is so erotic!

thanks for providing a highly erotic short ride!

5/5

Don't mess with things that are this good. Leave it as it is. Everyone has his own idea of where something like this should go, so let it be.

An adorable little story about real people and the real affection people feel. I enjoy the first person, present tense, especially when the story is about a small moment in time such as this when I feel it's the most suitable carrier for emotions as well as actions. Part of me want's a part two and another doesn't, just relying on the fact that she will allow him his favourite "breakfast" whenever he visits from now on, either way a great, heart warming story.

This story gets a 5. The concept is great, good descriptions of the action, even better how you describe the emotions of the characters. It was shorter so I could easily get into it. Nice twist with the wife always complaining about bad food and cholesterol. Wonderful story. I only have one problem with it, just one, and it's very small...teeny-tiny-microscopic problem. Itty bitty. Don't hate me for saying it.

It should be in loving wives. DON'T HIT ME! Please! Just my opinion and opinions are like assholes and they all stink. So, in my humble (stinky) opinion, the mother is a cheater and her son is a cheater. It does not detract at all from the story. Just wondered if maybe it should have been listed as loving wives?

Sincerely, Payenbrant.

there is nothing like the love between a mother and her son.

Anonymous

03/17/13 IN HIS/HER OWN WORDS DESCRIBING MSTAROT's FIRST PERSON WRITING AS "HORSE SHIT" OBVIOUSLY CAN'T WRITE TO SAVE HIS/HER OWN LIFE.

- HE/SHE CAN'T EVEN CONVEY CLEARLY THE BASIS FOR HIS OBJECTION TO MSTAROT's WRITING STYLE :-) AND HE CALLS HIMSELF A CRITIC.

MSTAROT, I ALWAYS WANTED TO SUCK MY MOM'S BIG BROWN NIPPLES ON HER FULL BREASTS BUT NEVER DARED - PLEASE LET YOUR HERO COME BACK TO HIS MOM's BREAST AND REALLY ELABORATELY AND HUNGRILY SUCK HIS MOTHER's BREAST AND NIPPLE AND THEN MAKE LOVE TO HER AND HER CUNT - YOU ARE UNIQUE - PLEASE MAKE LOVE TO HER FOR ME.

TOHNO

Hoping to see that you have written a part two sometime in the future! This one has become my favotie! Thank you

Adultery. Julie and Bruce don't deserve to be cheated on and their marriage vows shit on by disrespectful scum like good old mom and whoever the hell is the son.

No one here to like, adultery is as low as it gets!

Just My Opinion, YMMV

Morgan DeWolfe

because it was a good story and enjoyable.

VOTE 1* FOR EVERY STORY RATED BY THAT FAT DUMB WHORE VASTIESMITH2 AKA BONNIETAYLOR2 AKA ANON!

just to offset the asshole of LIT's 1 vote. Keep writing maybe he'll drop dead with hate!!!

Should be a part 2

You Judgmental, hypocritical, ridiculous, idiot. MorganDeWolfe, what are you doing reading about incest for if you have a problem with a small thing such as Adultery? I think this is a really good story, coming to fruition something that both Mother and Son have desired for many years. They simply had to wait awhile to let it happen. For example, Mother did need to wait until her son Married. Otherwise, he might not have married at all. That would have also ruined Mother's marriage and her guilt would have eaten at her, knowing that her son would never produce grandchildren for her. No, it was best that they wait until they are both successfully hitched with day-to-day lives to distract them before they let themselves succumb to their desire for each other. As it is, they will be able to have each other when he and Julie come to visit only, and in the story it says that it is a long drive. Bruce will remain clueless probably, Julie is predictable. Most people that sleep until a particular time and obsess about something in particular about like diet are just a little OCD and their compulsions are predictable and regular. I know, I'm married to one. She sleeps to a particular hour, her morning ablutions take a certain amount of time, toothpaste and shampoo always the same. Sex at the prescribed times and dates, and variations of which are possible and welcome - but are upsetting to her afterwards nonetheless. Yes, I think that since they will be keeping it 'All in The Family' that the unfaithfulness is most acceptable and due to locations it is unlikely to get out of hand. Neither are children and will be able to govern themselves after the passion of newness is past and they can comfortably accept and express their love for each other when it is safe. This is good. And Mother can help to take the edge off of the daily grind of married life for her son that will actually help him and Julie. He can always look foreward to a 'treat' when he and his wife are a little incompatible at times. Morgan, you can't get away with pronouncing sentence on one particular point of morality if you are going to ignore or even encourage other kinds of behavior. If Literotica is a problem for you, go to Amazon, get a Kindle, and get some ebooks about the Amish and their courtship rituals. But be warned, they can get pretty racy also with such a repressed life that they lead. Grow up.

Great little story. Thanks.

Should have been 5. Stars but my finger missed the button! Loved this story!! Please keep writing!!!

Ah memories of forbidden dreams.

The moment when fantasy becomes reality happens once. For some it gets better, for others it fades. A third set realize what's been missing.

I loved how well the past contrasted with present.

but, please let a proof reader look at your work before publishing. Lose - loose, your - you're, and many more detract from the flow of the text.

Morgan? You need a reality check. Or a life?

Do you ever think about a second chapter?

I want looking for new stories when I came across this old gem that brought me so much joy. Thanks again MSTarot!

Really great story. Thanks.

Like the story , a lot. AAAAA++++

Really cute. It is me that causes the four star rating. The story evokes some odd uncomfortable feelings in me. About how old I am now, how old my wife, who I depend on for most everything... it is a good story and a powerful story or it wouldn't make me so sad.

I am thankful for the terrible spelling in it. It is the only thing that keeps me fry starting to cry as I read it.

Thank you.

Oh my GOD!!! Soo hot. 😥😜

I have to bookmark this tale. I know I’ll think of it often. 5 stars +.

Bill S.

This is a VERY good story. Thanks

I can't imagine what it would be like to have had a loving mother like this one, and they were best friends. Wow.

The sensitivity overshadows the sex. Is there more?