Breaking Day Ch. 01

The smell was awful.

I wanted to close my eyes and look away. Honestly I tried. However, the scene made me look. The blood, the guts, the death screams of someone trying to survive kept me engaged. The visceral nature of us is to look first. Engage second. I looked. I-fucking-watched. Sue me.

Ungodly screams of terror and cries of help made my eyes water and the depths of my soul cringe with tinge of desperation and a whole lot of shame. I could help him; I didn't want to help him. It was easy for me to let my lady friend go and run across the street and smack them with a beam or a plank. But I didn't. I even have a scenario of what I should do. But I won't.

I wanted out.

Jewel stared. She started laughing. She had pale skin and her hand was cold, as was mine.

She started to cry, then few seconds of laughing. Man behind the counter turned his back and started arranging the shelves like nothing was happening, he was busy cleaning up his store. A man and a woman beside me pretended to talk on the phone. Shock went like a ripple through the people that were watching this scene.

Blood was flowing like a river as they fed on his flesh. And I still watched. I watched as a woman among them took his stomach out and chewed on it. A blast of bile across her face did nothing to assuage her of further feeding.

Jewel soon started hyperventilating and vomiting her morning breakfast. Holding her shoulders, I calmed her down, once she was finished regurgitating the meal we had, I took her further into the store and started to caress her shoulders.

"I'm here, nothing will happen to you," I hoped I wasn't lying.

"Mommy please, save me," She whispered out, but nobody was aware of her cry for help other than me.

I could see in her eyes that she looked at a distance, further than I was. Through me and the store, somewhere violence could not reach. I grabbed her by the head. I could smell traces of vomit but I did not care.

"Focus on me, I am here for you. I will never abandon you. Breathe," again I hoped I wasn't lying, my knees were shaking.

What if they suddenly turned their heads towards us and started screaming and hollering?

Taking a bottle of water and making her drink it along with a chocolate bar, I honestly didn't know what I was doing, but in my youth my mom often gave me sugar water to calm me down if I had a panic attack. She ate small bites of chocolate bar with tiny sips of water. People started to scream and run. I didn't know why, but I turned around and saw the people that attacked the man standing up bloodied. The people were holding parts of him in their hands and mouths were filled, still chewing on his flesh.

Man died long ago.

When the first people started to run, the monsters ran after them. Yelling and screeching the entire way. I was tracking them with fascination and depraved interest. My mind was already wondering what made them tick. I wasn't caring about the men and women who ran for their lives.

The four women that were left were busy standing and watching. They didn't run. Staying behind and watching for a way out. The feeders lunged at them and I ran for the door. I had to do something.

Grabbing the four women that started to scream and pulling them in the store I closed and locked the door without any reservation of what waited for us inside. Probably the same thing what waited for those men and women that ran. I moved quickly and threw every shelf that was not bolted down, at the glass doors and two windows. They were soon covered up by random thrown items and piles of discarded newspaper. Two big bags of dog food and other shit I could quickly reach.

The store inside was occupied by 5 isles of items and a counter top where the clerk still stood arranged and rearranged items over and over again. Speaking in random words probably his mind only knew the meaning off, his psyche eroding away by each passing second. Who knows what was wrong with the guy?

My female friend grabbed my leg while four women stood in a circle around me waiting for their turn their eyes slowly loosing light and any will that they have right now they were willing to hand over to me. I won't lie it made me feel a tiny bit important. Before I thought what pig I was.

"Ladies please, sit down, relax," I spoke as gently as I could.

I glanced down at my lady friend, "Jewel I need you. Get yourself together and focus on my voice. I know that what you saw was disturbing, but I'm here. And you are still alive," I remembered the time a grenade landed on my neighbor's house during the civil war and my mom's reaction.

I especially remember her words. The man and the woman were bumbling wrecks. Yet, my mom a nurse helped them to overcome that moment of fear.

"What was that? Those screams and voices. How can a man sound like an animal? How?!?!" She tried to give reason to what she just saw and heard.

"Jewel please, I need your help. I need you right now," again I tried to gain some semblance of normalcy.

"Sorry. I don't think I can handle anything right now," she was crying.

"You must or you will lose your mind and I won't be able to help you. You must focus on this moment right now. We will find something to help you later, but right now these women need your help. I'll be right there, that clerk also needs some help. Please, everybody is in panic or in shock. We need to help each other." I tried to reason with a slowly panicking woman.

Her eyes slowly returned their focus, her glow slowly returned, she was no longer a babbling moron that she was few moments ago, I mean no disrespect, but I need her help.

"This way ladies," she guided the four women and started to occupy their mind with banter about their lives.

The fuck will I do?

"Sir, can you help me?" I called for the clerk that arranged the back shelves for God knows what time.

He turned, his face was white, I felt shiver down my spine for some reason. As noise grew with each turn of his body, his unusual movements made my skin crawl. I wanted to run as soon as I saw his eyes roll in the back of his head and his drooling mouth open and close. For some reason I knew he wasn't lost in dream land. I hoped. I prayed that it was just him losing his consciousness.

He stood there as I inspected his behavior. His breaths were fast and shallow. "So, what's with him?"

A woman's voice almost made my heart jump out of my chest and run off to freedom. That's pretentious way of saying 'jumped out of my chest'. But you know I try to occupy my mind any way I can. Even in dumb banter.

"Please go back and call others silently," I said under my breath, hoping the man in front of me wouldn't or couldn't notice.

Women slowly approached while I asked, "Besides Jewel here, are any of you doctors, nurses or medics?" redundant I know, but people know their line of work in different names.

All of them shook their head in denial. I was hoping that at least one of them could provide me a bit of expertise in shock therapy. Or possible prognosis of this person.

"I forgot to charge up my phone, any of you with a working cell?" again, it was redundant of me to ask if anyone, younger than 70, carried a phone with them, and most of the population nowadays had a smart phone.

But the women, myself included, needed distraction. What else could I do?

Two of the women started fiddling with their purses, while one lifted up her hand and said, "We all have, but lines are busy for some reason. Also takes ages to get online connection. It's strange, since the area around here always has a good connection. We are students so we use the local library even outside of it we have a pretty decent bandwidth."

"Yeah, you could speak Korean and I still wouldn't have gotten anything that you just said." I smiled.

"Ladies, I would love if you started to round any provision that you may find, water, food, medicine. I want to see what this store has in stock. I'll check the back if anything happens, please either call me or start throwing more boxes," I pointed at the mess of overturned boxes of beer and other beverages still waiting to be used.

All of them giggled while I stepped down from the counter where I was sitting with my legs crossed, the man still drooled and absentmindedly stared out to the crevices of space and time, unknown to the world and me if he'll ever recover. I hoped. I prayed. But still did not seem likely that he would.

I could touch him to see if he was ok, but the recent events outside made me re-think my would-be action.

Looking into the darkness, the door that went outside were closed shut. Dark aura of uncertainty permeated every step that I took towards the unknown, this shop was not an area where one would hope to spend his last days, or days of random rioting and ungodly violence that we witnessed few minutes ago. Something, between the spaces of my little grey cells told me that this was too unusual and cruel to be called random man on man violence that we see usually.

Sure random killings and beatings were there, but disembowelment, cannibalism and pure carnage for the sake of some cause was unheard off. Sure there are deep underground cults that we usually hear about on the news and special TV programs. But this town was devoid of any violence. I chose it for this specific fact.

Walking back and carrying a broom handle I saw women doing what I told them to do few minutes ago, hurriedly and with certain amount of desperation I saw one of them drop a bottle of water on the ground and started to wince, and shake like she was waiting for some kind of invisible punishment. Perhaps she thought I was about to harm her with the handle.

"What's your name young lady?" I asked as politely as I could, not sounding threatening, looking her in the eye and breathing slow and deep.

Just like I would address a panicking animal, sue me.

"Carly, mommy please I'll do well. I'll do better." Carly started to cry uncontrollably

"Nobody is going to blame you for anything. Look at me, Miss Carly you are allowed to make mistakes. Miss I would never hurt you, I did say you should do some work to make you focus your brain on other things, I did not expect you to do them so quickly. You are in a panic and in shock. I'm not a medic or a doctor, relax, sit down and focus your brain on this moment right here." I was desperately trying to help this woman from her shock and panic attack.

Jewel and other women watched this exchange while I was desperate in my tribulations to help this woman come out of her insanity.

"God damn it!"

I yelled jumping over the counter and searching the man for his land line, cell anything really. I was reluctant going there in case this was viewed by people as looting. There is fine line between looting and scavenging for supplies. There was no working landline or a TV that I could use for information.

"We need to get out of here. We need to get out of here," I repeated to women that were sitting on the floor.

"To what purpose? We are safer here; we have food and water I don't see why we would go anywhere else."

"Three reasons.

First; we lack information and there is lack of it here.

Second; we are in closed space, if we get attacked in mass by the crazed people we would be stuck here without any recourse to escape but our odds of fighting t out, which are, I mean no disrespect ladies, but close to zero.

Third; you ladies are slowly succumbing to panic attacks and I am not a doctor so I can't say I know how to treat it on the spot. We need a safer environment that you can feel safe and mentally calm."

"So what are you thinking? What if we get attacked out there?" A woman in her mid-20's asked me with watery eyes.

"Honestly speaking, I hope we do not get attacked. If we do I'll stay and protect you as best as I can, but I can't promise you that we won't get mauled by those people," I hoped I wasn't taking too much of a charge.

"Ok we got it we should prepare ourselves. What do we take?" One of the women asked.

"Jewel, girls, take only food and water. Anything else, and in the eyes of the law it's considered looting. Make no mistakes there are laws in place that are still functional," I warned Jewel who hugged her knees and started staring at her feet.

A sudden scream from what I could only perceive was an animal getting his gut cut while it's still alive; echoed across the room as we could feel the shivers going up and down our spines. I could tell the end of the scream was coming, but another one from back of the store followed it up while ladies jumped to their feet. The screams went over one another. As if they were conversing.

It was nightmarish, ghoulish, as spooky atmosphere ran across the room and seeped through our bodies and bones.

Ungodly screams started sprouting across the area where we could hear them in the distance calling back as soldiers reporting their situation. Me describing this to my own brain wasn't going to be enough, you had to hear it.

Clerk beside me started to moan and click his tongue. His open eyes lost any life that they had. Suddenly as I was sitting on the counter top he jumped at me like a jungle cat reaching out for his meal. The man's breath smelled bad, really bad. I wondered if it was his lack of dental hygiene or something more sinister.

He snapped his teeth at me and I tried with all my power to prevent him from chewing a piece of it. While we wrestled, I heard screams of terror and cries for help. I ended up on the bottom where he started to overpower me with his ungodly strength. My flab wasn't helping. I promise I'll start doing diligent exercise. Daily. Okay on a 2-day basis. I mean, I have to rest.

I could see crusted blood on his fingertips while his mouth started to snap and click at me; grabbing the broom that I carried with me I shoved it into his mouth and used the leverage to push him off and away from me. He never stopped gurgling and sucking in the occasional air.

The next few seconds were in a flash of terrified rage and will to survive. I ended up on top of him smashing his head with the wooden handle. His head kept bouncing of the tiles beneath him. Suddenly something wicked snapped and his head lied limp on the ground. In my rage I somehow broke the handle which I drove into his eye and brain. The man twitched few more times and then nothing. I leaned with my weight on the dead body and started to think.

I guess -- I killed a man.

I started to shake. I didn't want to admit it, but I did what needed to be done. I thought my morals were stronger, my will -- unbreakable. My muscles still shook.

However, I was wrong. I easily killed another human being. As it was nothing. It was either me or him. Standing up I saw girls had eyes full of disbelief and terror, eyes asking for the reason why that had to happen. Running to a corner and vomiting everything I had in the past hour for breakfast. My stomach didn't want any residue left, it gave me a decent amount of pain while I was bent down and spitting my meal.

*I'll never eat again, * I thought as my food came back with a vengeance.

I stood up and picked up a bottle of water to rinse out my mouth and most importantly to get rid the smell of vomit. I didn't know why I did that, but somehow it was a bad idea, contorting my face to show the discomfort I felt from the smell. Finally, I settled for a mint pack of gum, which I chewed. Another woman started to stand up, her head and eyes were looking at me and through me, for some reason she started undressing. I didn't like it. I hated it the moment she got up, somehow I anticipated what she would do. Jewel looked at this and then at me, but said nothing.

The woman was shivering.

Her face had lost any color that it had, "Miss? What are you doing?"

She spoke nothing, her body shook as her clothes dropped down one by one.

I decided to hug her while she went soft in my arms, her body just went limp at my touch. She passed out for some reason. I took off my T-shirt and covered her naked body, I let other ladies clothe her. Yet I knew I had to space and much needed rest. That was truly bizarre.

Everyone was on edge while I stood there over the dead body. My energy finally left me, leaving me powerless to do anything. Adrenaline rush that I received from the combat final turned to tears as the concept of taking a human life finally shook me to my core.

"Did...Did I do good, master?!" The lady that striped, apparently lost her mind and started to plead and kneel while other women held her.

She stared at my eyes with the look that showed the entire weight of her pleadings. I needed to do something, but what?

Jewel stood up and with determined steps came to where I was, slapping the shit out of me, nothing was said as her hands did all the work. When she was done my face stung while she was panting and trying to get herself back together. The woman that called me 'master' few seconds ago stared wide eyed at the little exchange that Jewel and me just had slowly, but surely she was getting her mind back on track. One by one women came to my side and each gave me a slap, which left them pretty calm and relaxed. The woman that lost her mind finally got her eyes focused and saw that she was naked, screaming, covering herself and looking as if she did not know what she actually did, a naked wakeup call not knowing what led her to be in that state.

Well, they somehow seemed more relaxed by their apparent brave nature, confronting a person who just showed that he could kill was not easy by any stretch of the imagination. I noticed that the group of women finally felt relaxed and in tune with their surroundings, they weren't looking at me with fear, trepidation and expectation. I should've been glad this happened.

I wasn't.

Let me tell you something. Getting your shit slapped isn't fun. It hurts. And even I had pride. Even that as small as it was; took a hit. I wanted to retaliate, but I swallowed my fury. I wasn't about to argue with the women around me. They needed reassurance. I am not a monster.

I gazed at the corpse on the ground, now more than ever determined to get out of this confined space. Fuck. I became aware of the screams outside. They never stopped. I looked around and started throwing shit on a pile. Medicine, food and water. Fuck even a random knife and can opener. Anything I could carry.

Another thought popped up.

We needed to defend ourselves from the creepers outside.

I thought about what to call them. Were they zombies? Clickers? None of those fit what I knew.

What did I know?

Apparently the creatures were prone to screaming, eating human flesh and chasing humans. From what I saw, and from the past several hours they were tough nut to crack. Guns and bullets do little to them. Why broom handles though?

Apparently, my inside monologue was noticed by Jewel, "What is it?"

I looked at her and blushed, I turned away faster than I wanted to, "Nothing."

I started to look at the pile I assembled. My lady friend apparently didn't want no for an answer, "Not nothing, you're obviously thinking about something. Are you planning to leave us behind?"

The other women quickly snapped their heads towards me, their eyes jugging already. God I hated those eyes.

I swallowed hard, the looks they gave me made me think about something, but I pushed that stuff down, "God no. What makes you say that? I was just thinking about what these people do the things they do. Why attack other people?"

My words seemed to calm her down, "Who knows why? Maybe they're on some kind of drugs," she thought for few moments walking around the corpse on the floor, "I've seen what PCP does to a person. They can rip and tear. Break their bones and still go on a rampage. It makes them into monsters."