by martin_x59
Sir, I told my Masters about a mistake in your story. They gave me 2 choices. Tell you and get punished or not tell you and not be allowed to cum for another week.
I'll take the punishment.
Sir Lance's four of a kind beats your full house. Only a higher four of a kind or straight flush would beat Lance's hand. Sir you cheated the boy out of the pot and your friend Nathan doesn't know any better either.
Sissy boy Mattie knottedpup@yahoo.com
The writing is appropriate since Lance is speaking slang..based on his job, how much rent is, lack of education (I'm regard to knowing when and with whom to speak slang since everyone doesn't), and personal preference. Other than this response to complainers, this story is off to a great start!
Lance is a real prat, but I couldn't help laughing and laughing hard when he used lol in a conversation. His whole attitude and conversation are annoying but also sooo funny !
The whole seduction bit is really sexy and I'm already loving this story. Can't wait to read more !! Congratulations !
Intriguing start but the poor proofreading is nearly as hard to read through as the exaggerated dialect. And Vince should be really posses, since 4 of a kind beats a boat.
Lance is so frustrating that even a peaceful soul like myself could be goaded into being a slave master as long as it takes to get him to grow up, lol
I found the slang to be quite hard to read and over the top, but the story itself intrigues me big time. Nice start! :)
I want to see Vince own this fool and fuck him so hard, it feels so good ;D
Text speak aside, this actually did make me laugh out loud.
Where inside your head did you get this idea for your story, lol!? It's not an immediate hot opposites attract type of thing. I was imagining Sasha Baron Cohen as Lance - comedy reel ensuing...
I'm not sure where this going now, but will pick the next chapter with glee - to see where this goes.
A fervent thank you!
Nice start, reminds me of The New Slave, but Lance is going to be a challenge.