All Comments on 'Brett & Lisa & Raeye at the Beach'

nice start but needs a little polish

Far too rough. Needs much revision. You keep switching from first to third person, from past to present tense. Tell the story from one point of view. Changes are too abrupt. Ease into transitions. Explain situations more. Don't rush to the ending, I missed having the time to savor the surprises. Good luck in future endeavors.

Lizz