by Xamphos
I usually don't like these type of stories but I enjoyed this one... Keep writting.
Guy should find out and drug them both, take them to a secluded location and slaughter them both with an edge weapon, very slowly. Nathan is NO friend, and this whore Vicky deserves whatever slow and brutal death he can devise, death to them both!
At the start of the marriage, what happens when good old Nathan turns up again? Sorry but this marriage is doomed.
Many thanks to all of you who taken the time to comment.
I notice many of you have slated Vicky for having the best man at her wedding. But none have asked what Guy was doing in the other room whilst Vicky was undergoing training.
As for a good marriage? Who can say, if these feelings for Nathan had remained repressed would there always been that ghost in the bed with them. I had considered writing a story where Nathan does return. But looking at the voting this has been my least popular story. So a continuation of the characters is unlikely to appear here.
Please do continue with your comments either here or directly to me at my e-mail address.
Xamphos
of what could have been.<P>
You don't need excess in the extreme to cover for your inexperience. Lack of plausibility leaves little of interest behind.
Writer - you seem to want to write more than just a jack off theme in awkward blue notes. If I am wrong then my apology.<P>
So if it doesn't seem likely or possible or is just disgustingly gross except for the sick ones realize that what you do is a waste of time and talent for you and us.<P>
I think you need to step back and decide which direction you won't take and why.
finished and she can finally fuck her new husband without possibly infecting him?
Thats right. Bull Feathers. While her hubby is fucking two girls next door, Nathan is still playing games with her? Where did they have all this time? Thats the real question. There''s people waiting just outside yet Nathan takes his sweet time just undressing himself in that one page people have lived and lost their lifes I don''t know where this authors head is at, with the way the ending was written, he could have included it in the first page also. Well, Nathan showed he was a sadist. Is Guy turned into a sadist with one gift? I thought he loved her? Anyway, This is how you can tell that a male wrote the story. To much detail and no action.
You certainly lack the ability to self-critique your own work, if you did you never would have submitted this...whatever the fuck it was supposed to be.