Try the free LITEROTICA WEBCAMS!

All Comments on 'Britnee’s Trailer Park Adventures Ch. 06'

by gfunk45

Sort by:
Newest FirstOldest First
  • 2 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 6 years ago

If you're looking for feedback, I have some:

Stop with all the exclamation marks when they're not at the end of a line of dialogue! One per page is enough!

Words like "fuck" and "ever" when in the middle of a sentence are not proper names or titles. Don't capitalize random words. Why do people do that?

"all 12 inches down her throat" - Numbers under 100 need to be written out, thusly: "All TWELVE inches"

"Have you always been this huge(question mark)"Britnee asked" - You need a question mark at the end of a question. Simple, right?

I can't be bothered correcting all the other mistakes in this.

gfunk45gfunk45over 6 years agoAuthor
thanks!

thanks for the tips!

Anonymous
Our Comments Policy is available in the Lit FAQ
Login
Post as:
Anonymous
Login
usergfunk45@gfunk45
21 Stories
256 Followers
Hi! I've been a member of this site for a few years now and just completed my first story. My work is more porn oriented than erotica and, I like characters that are extremely well endowed. I plan to write about giant breast implants and the like in the future. Hi, again. I ...