by Dark_Brother
This story just gets more and more ridiciolous with each chapter. Come on, get real... Jason is clearly a walkover. A weak guy with no substance at all. Punch him and he turns around so you can kick his butt while your at it and then he lies down ready for you to step on him whenever you feel like it......
your making this way to complicated and unrealistic. if you are going to write two series that are connected then you need to make sure they mesh flawlessly these do not. please delete both series and run them through a good editor then repost. way to many screwups making them not flow together you say one thing in this one and change it in the other, not good keep notes and reread before posting to be sure they mesh seamlessly. big mistake bringing jenny back she could blow the whistle on all of them as revenge sending them all to jail.
Keep up the good work and fuck what the faceless anons say. Stories don't always have to be 100% cut and dried. You spin a good yarn so keep doin what yer doin!
SH
IT'S A FANTASY STORY! Anything can happen, and if you don't like where its going, don't read it anymore. I personally like how he is getting sexed to death, and can't help from getting a chuckle from it.
In SUBJECTS 0 you said that standard forms of birth control did not work on those exposed to the substance and only the morning after pill worked. So the question I have is why aren't Lisa, Diane, Jennny, etc. pregnant?
Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. I still think this is a very enjoyable series. I guess I'm just one of those people that like things to be consistant. Maybe it only applies to the originators of the substance not those exposed to it. I mean Dixie didn't get pregnant in I FOUND MY SISTER STRIPPING so maybe there is some cosistancy there.
Oh well, I guess I'll just have to wait and find out your answer when you feel it is time in the story to explain it. Just color me impatient.
5/5 m
Unfortunately, your series is getting worse, Jason is getting walked over and it feels like you tossed in a threesome for the heck of it, at the expense of your story. It makes no sense for Jason to so quickly basically forget that his ex-girlfriend cheated on him, then he basically gets walked over by his new sex friend into not only having sex with the slut, but get back into a relationship with her. And all that "justifies" this is the thinly-vielled mention that she is serious about her apology. This is after the girl screwed him over and then went on to trash his place, in other words a cheating psycho bitch.
Unless you want Jason to be a weak-willed wimp that can only think with his dick, there seems to be no believability in the relationships other than fuck buddies.
Sorry, just very disappointed with where this series is going, I like generally how your series go, just wish your characters were more faithful in their relationships and stopped fucking around just for variety, heck they have harems, why would they cheat?
Yes, anything can happen, but that does not protect against criticism when that anything goes against logic or reason, when it starts going in a, well, off direction. By your reasoning, criticizing any movie is wrong because anything the director or the writer did was okay.
Keep up the good work, I have enjoyed all of your series and hope you write many more. Thanks for your time and effort.
You've tied this story into the other two, and made some story decisions that say the women he has been with since his exposure should all be getting pregnant because of the hormone substance. Is this merely a time issue? Weeks have gone by since his first full sex encounter.
Another issue is how his mom could be with the neighbor from C.M.S.S. and not be either pregnant by him or able to switch partners when the substance is supposed to make women completely devoted to one man.
Keep up the good work, added you as a favorite. I don't mind a mild error of fact, I read for enjoyment. The main thing that bothers me is when the author switches (or plain forgets) the names of the characters. Not referring to any of your works that I noticed.
please bring the characters into a tighter structure, love the story.
Yet again it is a good story. It is getting too busy with all the people, but I still enjoy it. To the other comments, some people do not grasp the concept of fiction.
I don't care what happened there would be no chance in hell that I would allow someone who has cheated on me to come back into my life.
Alright, I'm pretty much done with this 'story'. My brain can only handle so much nonsense. I actually feel bad for the people who actually like this story. The author can take this story and all it's convoluted 'plot' and shove it.
Just dump Jenny already and evidently Faith. As neither seem to be too faithful. NPI.
Yeah, time to man up and get his Big boy pants on, Can’t let his ex and his new “ older half-sister “ run his life, it’s not like he hasn’t have other options open for him. So put both Faith (ironic name?) and Jenny on ice until they understand that he says is what goes, or they can stay away.
The logic in this story is starting to weaken. This is somewhat disappointing. Although a person can love more than one person at a time. all lovers must be mentally, emotionally, and psychologically secure. Jenny, Lisa and Geo have already demonistrated feeling of insecurity in themselves and others. This will lead to jealousy, discord and possessiveness.