All Comments on 'Brother's Best Friend Ch. 03'

Needs an editor that also speaks Spanish, but you got raw talent

Good luck :)

You Me At Six :D

Good story. Kind of rough but interesting.

I liked it but it was short ... hopefully the next chapter will come soon :D

um I was already annoyed by your grammatical errors....and now I'm even more so because you've attempted to throw dance terminoligy in there. Are you even a dancer? If you were you'd know that 'jumps' are called leaps or jettes, and that you can't 'pirouette' across the floor. I don't mean to be bitchy but as a proffesional dancer it bugs me. And as a english major it bothers me that you have so many errors that could be solved by taking your time when you proof read. You already take a million years to update so it won't hurt you to take a few extra days to really edit it. I would recommend finding someone like THELOVELY1GLO to edit for you.

um where is the sex?

First of all i am a dancer to and there is no reason for you (anonymus person down there) to be a bitch about the terminology every has spelling issues just put a sock in it and read the story i bet you cant even do better!!

And EXPLORER i think this is a great chapter great job as always !

:)

i honestly really liked this. besides your obvious grammatical errors i think you're doing a great job and really continued the story. for me the best kind of love story is one that involves friends/haters.

While you're story line isn't very original, it does have potential. However you're writing is honestly not that good... I suggest you read a few good novels then have a good hard look at your own writing because, grammatical errors aside, it just lacks emotion. It's like you're retelling a story to a friend who is very stupid. To give you an example:

"I pulled into my mom's house and saw Greg's truck in the drive way. Great, I thought, I can get an ear full of upsetting Katie (what?!) . I walked into the kitchen and saw Katie in the kitchen (I think we can assume she is sitting IN the kitchen if he just walked in). She didn't notice me at first so I took the chance to admire her. (was she facing him and suddenly went blind? HOW COME she didn't notice him?)"

Now change a few wording issues....

"As I pulled into my mother's drive way Greg's truck came into my vision. Great! I thought, now he will give me an earful for upsetting Katie. Walking into the kitchen I was surprised to see Katie sitting at the breakfast bar, her back to me. Her lack of attention gave me the chance to admire her..." This is without any techniques, so add that in and you'll be sure to get at least a 3.5-4/5

Write the chapters faster! Haha

Honestly, you got Ryder to sound just like his father.