Brownwood: I Dreamed Ch. 01

He tried to ignore her without being rude but each time he glanced at her, she was staring wistfully at him. Then when his attention was on another customer, he'd turned and there she was. Her light red curls fell across her shoulders and seemed to frame her cute freckled face. Her jeans and t-shirt looked good on her trim figure and although she wasn't well endowed, Zach stared briefly as the swellings seemed to grow as she began breathing deeper. When his gaze finally returned to her face, she smiled knowingly and peered into his soul with her baby blue eyes. He was momentarily stunned.

If truth be told, he couldn't remember their entire conversation then. After she'd said 'I miss you' things got somewhat fuzzy. They began dating again that summer.

They were inseparable that next year at State. They were together at every study session and college event. The frat parties were the most difficult for Zach. Being around a lot of the guys Bree had dated that last year made him uncomfortable and jealous. She did her best to ease his concerns by rarely leaving his side at those parties. She would wrap his arm around her waist and press into him, making sure everyone knew who she was with.

In time he began to relax and enjoy himself. There was really only one group of guys he had a hard time being around, a small group of frat brothers led by Ty Whitmore.

Damn! Zach thought. Who the hell names their kid Ty? They must've known he was going to be an arrogant prick even then!

Ty was a six foot three inch, two-hundred ten pound, good-looking, rich boy from Boston. While Zach always thought he was a pompous ass, he could easily see why Bree had dated him. With his wavy brown hair, natural good looks, and muscular build Ty Whitmore was quite the ladies' man. It also didn't hurt he was rumored to be hung like a horse and an energizer bunny in bed.

Although they had a few run-ins at the beginning, Ty and his friends soon left Bree alone. At one party, she let them and any other would-be suitors know, very vocally, she was with Zach and only Zach. After that, Zach and Bree were treated as a couple even when apart.

He smiled as he remembered Bree's passion that night. She'd seemed to be on fire when they got to his dorm room. No sooner had he closed the door than she attacked him. The heat of her lips as they kissed only seemed to intensify as he clumsily tried to undo her jeans. With an impatient huff she undid them herself and let them fall to the floor as she quickly undid his belt.

Within seconds their naked bodies were entwined as they lay on his bed. They danced together, two young lovers trying to match the other's rhythm. Her softness, the taste of her skin, and the incredible warmth of her body quickly overwhelmed him. Bree's moans filled the small room and Zach smiled, knowing he'd receive several comments tomorrow from others on his dorm floor.

They ended up making love twice more that night much to their neighbors' delight or distraction. Completely spent, they enveloped themselves in each other and finally slept.

It didn't surprise anyone when Zach proposed and Bree accepted that next summer. What did startle some was when they got an apartment together. To say that Bree's parents, devout Catholics, weren't pleased was an understatement. However they loved Zach so there wasn't too much said.

The next nine months were like a fairytale for them. They studied, worked, partied, and loved like a married couple. Every night found them snuggled together and each morning they woke in each other's arms.

One highlight during that time was when Zach had taken Bree to go see a touring production of the Broadway musical, Les Miserables. She'd always loved the theatre and music, but Les Miserables was her all-time favorite.

For a short time, reality bordered upon fantasy for the couple.

Zach first noticed the cracks in their relationship that spring. Bree had become hesitant when discussing the wedding and was reluctant to make plans. He'd at first dismissed it as her getting cold feet.

What an idiot I was, he chided himself. The more she pulled away, the more I tried to hold her close. Like I had enough love for both of us to make a marriage work.

Things began to unravel when Bree postponed the wedding three months before its scheduled date. Zach was ashamed at how he'd reacted; he'd verbally attacked her out of his own fear and pain.

Still reeling from their fight, the couple suffered another blow just two weeks later. Zach received word his dad was very ill. Phil Morgan had been diagnosed as having an advanced stage of pancreatic cancer and the prognosis was very bleak.

Zach had spent most of that summer back in Brownwood, helping his mother at the diner. She'd hired a man, Hector Chavez, to help out as well. This had allowed her to spend more time with his dad but also provided some space for Bree and himself. With Bree staying in the City and Zach living at home, the couple had a chance to cool off.

Of course with Ginny there as well, Zach had little time to sit and stew about his current problems.

****

Summer 1996 - Brownwood

"Isn't that right, Zach?" his sister ask, breaking his concentration on the latest customer's order.

With an exasperated sigh he replied, "What?"

"My tits are too small aren't they?"

"What?!"

"Honey," his mother interjected, "they're not too small. Besides you're only eighteen and just starting college in the fall."

"Yes they are!" Ginny said, looking down at her own chest. "I think I need a boob job before I go to college."

"Don't worry, sweetheart, once you have a kid or two, then you'll be griping about how they sag because they're too big!"

Ginny snorted. "Kids? Only if I can find a husband who likes his wife flat as a board! Isn't that right, Zach?"

"Ginny, I'm not going to talk about your... Hector... help me out here?" Zach pleaded, looking over at the nice-looking, young, Hispanic man who was busily cooking on the grill.

"No hablo ingles," he said, not even looking up.

"Bullshit! I've heard you before. Now, help a brother out?"

Hector looked at Zach and then over at the two smirking women. He slowly shook his head.

"No hablo ingles."

"Coward."

Hector grinned as he focused his attention back to his grill.

"Well?" he heard his sister ask.

"Well what?"

"Do you think I need a boob job?"

"Dammit Sis, I'm not looking at your tits, all right? So keep me out of this!"

Allie and Ginny grinned and he could see the mischief dancing in their eyes. Then both women burst out laughing.

Embarrassed, Zach stormed out of the kitchen and back into the diner only to be met by several smiling faces at the counter. He recognized them as regulars from the battery plant.

"You know, Zach," one said, laughing, "if you don't want to look at your sister's tits, we're willing to step in for you!"

"Gee thanks," he responded sarcastically.

"Sorry, sirs," came Ginny's voice from behind him, "but they're not on the menu."

She stared at them, daring them to make some comment.

"Now, of course," she began in a sultry voice, "if that dreamy Donnie Hill you all work with was to order..."

She stared at them innocently and batted her eyes. There was no doubt Ginny Morgan was a younger version of her mother. Zach tried to imagine an entire summer with the both of them and groaned.

****

Zach and Bree had spent the weekends that summer together, struggling to fix their damaged relationship. Bree having second thoughts about getting married was something neither one of them knew how to deal with. Slowly it began tearing their relationship apart.

By the time school began, Zach was back in their apartment and their lives resembled an emotional rollercoaster. Instead of a great last year of college, they spent most of their time bickering. The battle lines had been drawn with Bree trying to convince him to go to yet another party and Zach trying to guilt her into staying home.

The fights grew more intense and soon the accusations began. Bree accused him of trying to manipulate and control her while Zach accused her of wanting a playtime boyfriend with no designs on the future. As the tensions between them escalated, she started spending more time with her sorority while he withdrew and became more sarcastic.

The intimacy between them rapidly faded, along with the frequency of sex. In the bedroom, it resembled more of a competition than an act of love and passion. She seemed to desire mostly physical sex, hot and erotic, while he pushed for more romantic love making.

Then one Saturday night in November, things came crashing down. Zach winced as he began to relive the death throes of his relationship with Brianna Olsen.

It'd begun with another argument over going to a party. This one, as luck would have it, was hosted by both Bree's sorority and Ty's fraternity. Ty and several others had held their distance from Bree but Zach had noticed they'd been taking interest in the couple's problems. He had no desire to go another party and put on a good front to keep the wolves at bay.

****

"What do you mean we shouldn't go tonight?" Bree yelled.

"Dammit, Zach," she said, trying to control herself, "why do we have to do this every week? You know my sorority is co-hosting this party. Besides it's been planned for two months now!"

"Oh wait, another party? What a surprise!" he spat back at her.

"Don't get shitty with me, Zach. I'm so tired of it. Every time I suggest we go out, you want to stay home. It's like you don't want to have fun anymore."

"Bullshit, I just want to have fun with you and not a hundred of your Greek friends. Why do we always have to go out to have fun? What happened to just the two of us having fun?"

"That's not fair! I know things between us haven't been good for the last several months, but that doesn't give you the right to throw that in my face every time I want to go somewhere! Listen, if you still want to, I could make it up to you after we get home from the party."

"That's great! Bribe me with sex so I'll do what you want. What am I, Bree, your pet? If I'm a good boy you'll give me a treat?

"Even if I took you up on it, who's to say you'd even remember? Let's face it, sweetheart, you've been getting wasted at these parties."

"Well dear, why the hell shouldn't I? You've been moping around at them like a little boy pouting because he didn't get his way."

"I'm tired of always trying to put on a facade so nobody will know just how damaged our relationship is. I've seen the sharks at the parties watching, looking to see if we're as happy as we pretend. They're out there, waiting to see if there's blood in the water before they move on you."

"That's not true and you know it, Zach."

"Are you that stupid, Bree? You're beautiful and the only thing holding them back is the way you shot down Ty and the others in the past. But don't fool yourself, the first time one of them hits on you and you don't shoot him down, they'll be all over you."

"I haven't given them any reason to think I'm available and you're a bastard to even suggest I have!"

"I know you haven't, at least not yet!"

"Now you're sounding jealous and paranoid."

"Paranoid? No. Am I jealous? Yeah. I'm sick of fighting for this relationship alone! When are you going to fight for it?"

Bree was stunned. Her cheeks flushed dark red as her anger boiled over.

"You asshole! You act like you're the only one sacrificing. I've turned down plenty of things I wanted to do just so I could be here and listen to you bitch and moan about how little time we spend together."

"Well excuse the hell out of me! I'm sorry I wanted to spend more time with the person I love!"

"And I suppose I don't? Just because I don't want to stay at home every night and act like an old married couple? Dammit, Zach, we're twenty-two not forty-two!"

"I'm sorry this relationship is dragging you down so much."

"I didn't say that."

"Bullshit, you make it sound like being with me is like being in prison. Like I am trying to tie you down and steal your freedom."

Bree was silent.

Zach's face flushed as his voice grew cold.

"I'm sorry my love is such a damn drag to you."

"I didn't say that!" she screamed. "I'm so sick of this! I'm sick of you trying to make me the bad guy all the time. I'm tired of the guilt trips and I'm tired of this!"

She removed her engagement ring and slammed it on the table in front of Zach. Bree quickly grabbed her coat and went to the front door.

"Bree?" Zach shouted.

"To hell with all this drama," she screamed at him. "Don't wait up, I may or may not be back!"

She slammed the door behind her; neither one of them realizing that the dominos that'd begun falling would change their lives forever.

****

Zach hadn't slept much that night but the following morning was seared into his mind. He'd been sitting at the kitchen table, staring at Bree's ring when they entered the apartment.

Bree and one of her sorority sisters, Trisha, had come to get Bree's things. He'd noticed Bree looked like she was sick. He'd tried to talk to her a few times but she refused to even look at him. All she did was cry and mumble, "I can't ... I can't." He could tell Trisha was crying as well.

It took everything he had left inside him just to sit there and watch them pack. As they were getting ready to leave, he tried to speak to Bree one last time.

"Bree?" he said, his voice breaking. "I don't want this."

She turned away and sobbed. Then she picked up the last box, full of her things, and started for the door.

"So I guess it's over?" he said weakly.

Bree nodded her head and walked out the door.

He'd tried to contact her over the next several days until he began to hear about the party. Slowly he put together what had happened after she'd left their apartment. He knew she'd gone to the party and had gotten drunk. He also knew she'd ended up having sex with Ty in his room, since Bree was never quiet. After that the rumors varied, the worst being that she'd been gangbanged by Ty and about a dozen of his frat brothers. Zach was crushed regardless of what the truth actually was. At the very least, she'd thrown their engagement away and run into the arms of another man.

Zach never knew he could hurt so badly.

He staggered through the end of the semester, his grades slipping as he tried to regain some kind of foothold on his life. He saw Bree a few times on campus but she was clearly avoiding him. Ginny had tried to comfort him but with school finals and their father's failing health, it was hard for her to be there for him.

Mercifully, the semester ended and Zach headed back to Brownwood for Christmas break.

When he arrived back home, he found Allie supportive but distracted. Although her heart broke when she saw the pain her son was in, her first concern was Phil. He was deteriorating rapidly.

Zach and Ginny took over the diner for their mother so she could spend as much time with their dad as possible. Christmas Day, although warm and full of laughter, had a melancholy feel to it as everyone realized this would be the last one they would share as a family.

After New Year's Day, Zach decided he needed to talk to Bree, to understand what had happened. He felt his face flush with anger as he drove out to her family's farm. Slowly he began to gather himself so that by the time he drove up to the main house, he'd regained some of his composure.

As he got out of the car he noticed Bree was already on the porch, waiting for him. The cold night air seemed to set the stage as he walked up to the porch.

"What do you want, Zach?" Bree said, her voice catching with a tear already streaming down her cheek.

"What do you think I want? I want to know why?"

"It doesn't matter anymore. Please just go away."

Undaunted, he barked at her, "How could you just throw away what we had? And then go screw another guy that same night?"

She sobbed quietly then whispered, "It doesn't matter."

"Doesn't matter?" Zach exploded. "Years of us being best friends and in love and now it doesn't matter? So, how many guys did you sleep with that night?"

"Why? You want to know why?" Bree screamed at him through her tears. "Because I don't love you anymore, that's why!"

Her parents walked out the door as she turned to go back inside.

"I hope you rot in hell, you whore!" he yelled after her.

She pushed past her parents and ran into the house crying. Gerald and Priscilla Olsen stood on the porch looking down at the young man they'd always considered one of their own. Their pained expressions showed they were struggling with the situation as well.

"Zach, even though there's nobody out here within shouting distance," Gerald said in his baritone voice, "it's time to go home."

Zach saw the agony in Priscilla's face as she clung to her husband.

"We're sorry, Son," he continued, "but it's done."

The young man fought back his emotions as he staggered back to his car and drove away. Tears of frustration and loss began to flood his eyes as he realized he'd lost not only Bree, but all of the Olsen family.

****

That'd been the last time he'd spoken to Bree, his last conversation with his best friend and first true love. He wasn't sure if it was because he was needed at home or the likelihood of seeing Bree with someone else on campus, but Zach decided to stay in Brownwood that next semester.

Six weeks later, Phil Morgan died. The loss of the man he'd called 'Dad' for the past 15 years left Zach devastated. It only made matters worse that the only other father figure in his life had been Bree's father, and now that relationship was dead as well. There was no question, this was the lowest point in Zach's young life. He'd never felt so alone.

Zach heard all the local gossip as he worked that spring at the diner and soon learned Bree was dating Ty again. Ginny had brought more news when she returned home that summer. Bree was engaged to Ty. Zach knew then he needed to move on with his life. He decided to go back to school to finish his degree.

****

He took a deep breath as he noticed his death grip on the steering wheel. It'd been over six years since the death of his father and the breakup with Bree and still the emotions were raw. Now he sat in the Brownwood High School parking lot, staring at the front entrance. Draped over the entrance was a banner.

"WELCOME CLASS OF 1993!"

Slowly he began working up the nerve to go in and see people he hadn't seen in years. Taking a deep breath, he got out of his car and began walking towards the glass doors.

This is such a bad idea, Zach thought to himself.

****