Brownwood: The Dance

"So would you be willing to give me back my visitation rights?"

Her pause gave me all the answers I needed.

I took a deep breath as my hatred for this bitch began to boil over. She watched me and I saw fear in her eyes for the first time since I'd beat the shit out of Brad. My feelings were probably written all over my face.

"So let me get this straight. In order to even see my daughter I have to allow you back into my life. The more I expose my throat and heart to you, the more you might allow me into Susie's life?

"I get to see my daughter only when you're there and that's assuming you can even get her to speak to me again? And if, by some miracle, we somehow become a real father and daughter again; you can still just take her away from me if you're having a bad day? Of course if you ever find another Brad you'll both be gone overnight and I'm shit out of luck?"

I glared at her, waiting for some kind of answer. She stared back at me with tears starting to run down her face.

"I know you don't trust me, but I promise I won't do that to you. I know what I've lost. I just need a chance to try to win some of it back."

"You're right, Connie, I don't trust you to do anything but what's good for your selfish ass. You made those same promises when we got married but it didn't keep your legs from springing apart for Brad did it?

"Damn! Now you're pimping out your own daughter so I'll take you back? That's pathetic even for you!"

"Jake, I'm sorry but I'm desperate!" She cried out loud, enough that I could feel the eyes of some of the people around us staring.

"I can't... I can't lose Susie," she quietly sobbed. "She's all I got now."

I was trying to get my head around this, fighting a sick feeling that if I couldn't come up with some kinda solution then I wouldn't get to see my daughter again, at least not until she was eighteen. The problem was there wasn't an answer. Connie had made it clear it was an all or nothing offer and even the all part was subject to change.

I knew I couldn't live like that, waiting for her to tear Susie away from me on a whim. It wouldn't be fair to Susie or me. But to end any hope was killing me.

Sometimes God or fate or whatever you believe in smiles on you. It's like some decision was made that in the middle of a string of bad days, this day was going to be a good one!

For me it started with a little girl's voice ringing out across the bar.

"Uncle TJ!"

Izzy, a pretty little six-year-old girl with long black hair came skipping over to us. She was trailed by her four-year-old brother, a husky butterball of a boy who stomped across the barroom floor in his new cowboy boots.

I got to my feet just in time to catch the little girl as she launched herself into my arms. Her squeal pierced the country music that filled the hall. I heard several laughs from some the surrounding tables. There's something about a child's laughter that's contagious and I felt myself laughing with her.

I felt something bumping into my leg and looked down. Her little brother, Gabe, was ramming his head into my leg, grimacing and snorting. Apparently he thought he was a bull today.

Putting his sister down, I picked up baby bull and tickled him. He burst out laughing and I put him back down. As soon as his boots hit the floor he was back in bull mode.

"So where's your momma?"

"She's over there with Uncle Maury," Izzy chirped.

I looked over and saw her. Her tanned skin, high cheekbones and long, straight ebony hair gave notice of her Native American heritage. She had a swimmer's body, lean and athletic. I grinned as I marveled at the way her tight butt and muscular thighs filled out her jeans.

But it was her dark, piercing eyes that grabbed me. As they glanced over at my ex-wife, I knew my Creole Princess wasn't happy.

Damn, she's beautiful when she's jealous!

"We're going to Aunt Marie's house to swim!"

"Oh yeah?" I replied, smiling. "Maybe I can join you after I get off work."

"Momma said you and she would go swimming after we were in bed. But don't see how, she didn't bring a swimming suit."

I grinned.

"Well maybe she can barrow one from Aunt Marie."

"EWW!" both kids squealed.

"Uncle TJ, both Momma AND you could fit into Aunt Marie's swimsuit!"

"Well that would be interesting," I said, grinning.

"EWW!" both kids squealed again.

"Why don't you and little Sitting Bull here go ask Uncle Maury for one of his special strawberry slushes? My treat!"

Both kids cheered and Gabe came out of character long enough to pump his fist in victory.

I looked back over at Connie and saw the defeated look in her eyes. We both had our answer.

"I really screwed us up bad didn't I, Jake?" she whispered.

"Connie, if you ever grow a soul, let my daughter know her daddy loves her. He just couldn't jump through all the hoops and relive the hell her momma wanted to put him through again."

He watched her pale as she dropped her head.

"One piece of advice though. Tell her the truth about you and Brad, and about me. If you don't, she'll find out when she's older and she'll hate you, even more than I do."

With that I walked over to the bar, knowing I'd never see my little girl again, at least not until she was grown. It hurt but the last sixteen months had gotten my heart used to it.

When I got there, Josie wrapped her long arms around my neck and stared into my eyes. I could see the dark flashes dancing dangerously in her eyes.

"Is that her?" she whispered.

I nodded.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I am now"

"Good," she said, giving me a thin smile. "For a minute there I thought I was going to have to go over there and kill the bitch."

I smiled.

"That thought did cross my mind."

"And what about this thought?"

Her soft lips melted into mine as our tongues danced. Her body molded to perfectly fit mine and the intense warmth of her passion threatened to make my jeans feel very confining.

"Eww!" two little voices rang out.

With a gasp we broke our lover's embrace. I saw her eyes flash at something over my shoulder and then a contented look formed on her stark, pretty face.

"And what was that for?" I gasped. "Not that I'm complaining."

"Just reminding you, lover," she said calmly but I could see the evil little thoughts dancing in her eyes. "And making a statement to anyone watching... you're mine."

"Did you make your point?"

Josie smiled maliciously.

"Well you're ex-wife left in tears, but that blonde bimbo... Stacy?"

"Lacy."

"I wonder what she'll look like when I shave her head?"

I choked back a laugh. She peered deep into my eyes.

"And if you use the word scalped... our midnight skinny dip will end with a cold shower for you buster!"

I smiled at her as I realized I'd really moved on. I was finally ready to dance again.